The Torn Martini Girl

If you have been reading my blog very long (or know me in the slightest), you know that I’ve been accused (sometimes, rather harshly) of holding onto things too long (please see For the Love of Bunny). I have explained before that my hoarding problem must run in the family, as I do get emotionally attached to items in my home like other folks do their spawn, but it can help one pinch pennies. Really!

I have been in love with my shower curtain (yes an f’n shower curtain) for almost 10 years (yes, almost a decade. No I’m not crazy – at least I don’t think I am).  While you may be contemplating the need to speed dial a therapist for my gain, allow me to introduce you to Martini Girl, so you may see the fabulousness for yourself.

Martini girl shower curtain purchased at Target, $19.99. This was part of the completely cool and utterly affordable Swell line crafted for Target by Cynthia Rowley that no longer exists because I lost my damn mind and bought everything in stock (kidding, but sadly it isn’t in existence anymore).

I fell head over heels with this shower curtain the moment I laid eyes on it (didn’t you?). Immediately bonding with the girl soaking in the bubble bath, enjoying a book while sipping on a martini pretty much summed up many a Friday night for this fabulously broke gal (but never too broke or ashamed to purchase booze with coins).  I hung a shiny (expect anything less?) silver cloth curtain behind Martini Girl and have always used a heavy-duty clear liner for inside the tub (hence explaining how I have kept this flipping thing for most of my adult life – no mold, no mildew, just a love of plastic apparently).

Knowing I had found a gem, this curtain has hung in there through two apartments, one house and now, a cozy duplex. But the horrors of overuse have finally set in. I almost had a come apart this morning as I stepped in for a much-needed soak after a long night of Skinny Pirates.

Noooo! Not a tear in the plastic!

I contemplated how to accept the nearing end of my beloved Martini Girl. I couldn’t fathom having to decide whether to end it all (unbearable pressure!) and put her in her final resting place (the dark, dreary, finality of the trash can).  Just when I thought I couldn’t take it anymore, a light bulb went off in my often blonde functioning brain – TAPE HER BACK TOGETHER!

While this may seem ludicrous (it’s not – remember I have duct taped reading glasses back together (due to my dad’s genius) and duct taped a lovely leopard flowerpot for decor – reference Leopard Lovin’ Pot), I thought it was worth a last-ditch attempt.

My accomplices in attempting to revive my ailing Martini Girl. Scotch mailing tape (Scotch seriously should be my last name) and scissors.

I cut a small piece of tape and applied it to the outside of the damaged curtain.

Then I gently pushed the sharpest point of the scissors through the plastic and tape, recreating the hole.

And just like that, Martini Girl had signs of life. Resuscitation complete!

Bet you can’t tell which one was torn, can you?

That my friends is how this blonde saved Martini Girl from her own funeral. All the while, saving myself the hassle of having to find the perfect replacement (which would have been a $95 pink sequin curtain I couldn’t afford) and costing nothing, as I had the tape on hand.

Crisis averted. For now.


4 thoughts on “The Torn Martini Girl

  1. C says:

    OMG! I have also had this same shower curtain for years and am experiencing the same problem. I couldn’t remember where I purchased it and was trying to find it when I came across your blog. Thanks for the idea! Martini Girls live on!!!

  2. Janie says:

    So glad you rescued her!

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