Eat Shit and Die Guac

I promise you really won’t die – but you may think you will because this dip is that good.

The ex-boyfriend dip.

So here’s the skinny on my friend Coco’s award winning “Eat Shit and Die Guac,” (she actually entitled it “I just broke up with my boyfriend, please send me to the beach guacamole,” years ago and won a trip to the beach. Thank God for ex-boyfriends.  She’s just nicer about her wording than I am about past loves, hence the guac’s new moniker).

Dip hardware:
· 6 ripe avocados (soft to the touch)
· juice from 2-3 limes (I substituted with lime juice because I’m cheap and easy)
· 1 large tomato, seeds and pulp removed, diced
· 1 serrano chili, minced (I didn’t know what this kind of pepper was exactly, but it was labeled at the grocery. Phew)
· 1/2 a red onion, minced
· 3/4 cup chopped cilantro
· 1 1/2 teaspoons kosher salt (or regular salt)
· a few turns of freshly ground black pepper
· 1/2 teaspoon cumin (Coco says this is the secret weapon)

This yields about four cups.  Plenty for a small crowd to snack on.

First cut the avocados in half.

Remove the pits and place avocados into a large bowl. Mine were so ripe and mushy, I was able to spoon them out.

Squeeze lime juice (authentic or duplicated) over the avocado. Mix well.  This will help the dip from browning.

Add the rest of the ingredients to the potion. Mix.

Taste and add more lime juice, onion and cilantro if desired.

Best served fresh but if you have leftovers (which you won’t), cover with plastic wrap directly touching the surface of the guac. Refrigerate.

This gluten-free dip will cost you about $11 including tortilla chips (if you get the $2 bag). The avocados will be the priciest portion (I paid $1.20 each) but well worth the outcome.  I secretly thanked Coco’s ex-boyfriend every time my overloaded chip hit my lips. And you will too.


16 thoughts on “Eat Shit and Die Guac

  1. […] every liquor under the sun, my dad’s self-dubbed “World Famous Wings,” the blogfamous “Eat Shit and Die Guacamole,” and snacks to soak up our hope of scoring any points against the number four ranked Penn […]

  2. […] the National Anthem is lip synced and to judge the quality of the half time show as I am shoveling Eat Shit and Die guacamole into my mouth wearing the stretchiest pants in my […]

  3. Dean says:

    Love me some guacamole!

  4. I love a bit of avocado!!!!

  5. Susie says:

    I made this tonight and it was AWeSoMe!!! Thanks for sharing 🙂

  6. LOVE the story, LOVE both labels for the guac and LOVE the blog too!
    xo reversecommuter

  7. celiacandallergyadventures says:

    Yum! I love guacamole so much!

  8. DressedinMYcloset says:

    I think that I will try this!! Sounds delish!!–minus the part about dying 🙂

  9. I do that, too, Tracy, the thing with the pits. This looks great…

  10. You’re bad! That my best friends and my husband all have naughty streaks, says something about what I wish I had the nerve to be.

    By the way–another way to help prevent gucamole from going brown (if you have leftovers, or have to refrigerate it for an hour before serving) is to save the pits and set them on the top of the guac before covering with plastic wrap. There’s an enzyme in them that keeps the avocado green. Of course you want to pull them out of the bowl before serving.

    This is close to my guac recipe–and your friend is right. Cumin is the secret.

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