How to Turn Your Dad Into Pamela Anderson

A few Halloweens ago I was dying to dress up as Kid Rock and needed a trashy Pamela Anderson to hang all over me. And because he is no stranger to the spotlight my dad jumped at the chance.

But how in the hell do you transform a 6’4″ man into a petite (OK, not happening), blonde, big busted bombshell?

You start feet first.

Heavy duty gloves for a heavy-duty job.  My dad has a green toenail (because he’s too cheap to buy the prescription to remedy) that I lovingly refer to as Foot Fungus (hence the gloves).  Aunt Nancy is watching over us (and secretly thinking she wouldn’t touch my dad’s foot with a ten foot pole).

Carefully apply polish to the gigantic toes.

Which are then topped off with an orange bow (to make those feet look a teeny tiny bit more feminine).

A base for the famous face must be applied as the transformation continues (the application of foundation “hurt his face,” according to my dad).

Stuffing Pamela into her costume proved the most difficult task of all.

But by God, she ended up looking like a fabulous Baywatch knock-off.

Pam’s famous rack was made by stuffing as much quilt batting as possible into nylons. I dyed a men’s tank top red (because I could not find a women’s XXXL) and applied masking tape on to create the Lifeguard logo.  The shorts I scored in the ladies section at Walmart (go figure).

Now all Pamela needed was her handsome rock star flavor at the time, Kid Rock.

With the complete transformation in place, Pam was (happily) the center of attention.  She tended to overshadow even the most glamorous celebrities at the party.

Where’s Marilyn?

And everyone was completely obsessed with Pam’s chest.

Just to give you an idea…

While this real life odd couple went on to hit the skids, Kid and Pam were able to let bygones be bygones on this particular Halloween.

Is my dad fun or what?

And while this may not be the Pamela Anderson of everyone’s dreams, she’s awfully pretty to me.

Pamela Anderson, the later years.

But then again, beauty is in the eye of the beholder.

CBXB

27 thoughts on “How to Turn Your Dad Into Pamela Anderson

  1. LOLOL your father is such a good sport! 🙂 very funny!

  2. Your dad is SUCH a good sport; he must be from Iowa or someplace where theres nothing to do so people make their own fun.

  3. kellisamson says:

    Your dad is awesome!

  4. ogpeelar says:

    Kuddos to your pops!!! How fun!

  5. Ms B. BAD says:

    THIS IS hysterical!! Your dad is a good sport!

  6. Looks like a lot of fun! I love Halloween.

  7. Riq says:

    Pam never did it for me, however, seeing your dad dressed this way…I…uh…find myself curiously aroused!

  8. Carmen says:

    I love it!

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