You know how they say you should never sleep with an ex?
Well, some people never learn.
Bored with current “good girl” image while judging (snore) on The X Factor (yawn), Britney went back to her wiley ways, if just for one night. I mean, being white trashy is knowing something is wrong but doing it anyway (probably how everyone feels the morning after running into an ex. In your bed) and not giving a rat’s rear end about it (not even a morsel of remorse).
In celebration of their “one night stand” reunion, Brit and K-Fed wanted to share their fabulously trashy treats they’ll be serving to cavity hungry monsters from the double wide mansion tonight.
1. K-Fed’s “Famous Family Jewels”
K-Fed can procreate like nobody’s business, so it’s only fitting that this is his favorite dish. He stumbled on these nuts while cruising through the very non-trashy onceamonth4ladies blog (he’s secretly in love with the fabulous foursome).
Mix the sugars and pumpkin spice in a bowl (or whatever is laying around the trailer). In a separate container, whisk the egg white and vanilla. Slowly mix nuts into egg and vanilla mixture, add sugar and stir until your arm hurts (which for K-Fed now is about 15 rounds in the bowl). Run your finger through your hair to grease the crock pot (if you don’t do this, you’ll have sticky nuts and that’s no good for anyone).
2. Frankenstein Fungus Pops
Brit burglarized this recipe from Colorado blogger Glitzgirlzglamourguide.com (where the Frankensteins are way more fabulous).
3. Louisiana Lurkers
Britney actually thinks she can get pregnant just by looking at these cookies. Go figure.
Melt chocolate chips over low heat in a sauce pan. Dip Nutter Butters into melted chocolate, place on wax paper and let cool. Once dry, paint on the “Oops I Did It Again” face.
And that friends, is what you can find peering out of your plastic pumpkin if you stop by the trailer of terror.
If you hurry, you can make your own trashy treats (minus the tetanus shot) under your own roof before the door gets banged down by ghouls tonight.
Go on now and git’r’done. Even if it involves an ex.