One Night Stand

You know how they say you should never sleep with an ex?

Well, some people never learn.

Especially trashtastic folks like Britney Spears and Kevin Federline.

The Federlines. In all of their shaved noggin, wig headed black hair, pre-Celebrity Fit Club appearances.

Bored with current “good girl” image while judging (snore) on The X Factor (yawn), Britney went back to her wiley ways, if just for one night. I mean, being white trashy is knowing something is wrong but doing it anyway (probably how everyone feels the morning after running into an ex. In your bed) and not giving a rat’s rear end about it (not even a morsel of remorse).

In celebration of their “one night stand” reunion, Brit and K-Fed wanted to share their fabulously trashy treats they’ll be serving to cavity hungry monsters from the double wide mansion tonight.

1. K-Fed’s “Famous Family Jewels”

K-Fed can procreate like nobody’s business, so it’s only fitting that this is his favorite dish.  He stumbled on these nuts while cruising through the very non-trashy onceamonth4ladies blog (he’s secretly in love with the fabulous foursome).

1 cup brown sugar
1 cup sugar
3TBL pumpkin spice
3 cups of your most cherished nuts
1 egg white
2 tsp vanilla

Mix the sugars and pumpkin spice in a bowl (or whatever is laying around the trailer). In a separate container, whisk the egg white and vanilla. Slowly mix nuts into egg and vanilla mixture, add sugar and stir until your arm hurts (which for K-Fed now is about 15 rounds in the bowl). Run your finger through your hair to grease the crock pot (if you don’t do this, you’ll have sticky nuts and that’s no good for anyone).

Once marinated, slow cook the nuts for two hours, stirring every 30 minutes.

Please pass the nut sack. Britney wanted serve K-Feds faves in a plastic Walmart bag. Whatever floats your boat.

2. Frankenstein Fungus Pops

Brit burglarized this recipe from Colorado blogger (where the Frankensteins are way more fabulous).

1 pack jumbo marshmallows
1 package chocolate chips
1 can green food color spray (unless you have moldy ‘mellos)
black sparkle baking gel
sucker sticks

On a paper towel, spray marshmallows green. In a saucepan, melt 1/4 of the chocolate chips over low heat. Once fungusy enough, take the marshmallow and dunk the top in the chocolate.

Draw face with sparkle gel and insert sucker stick once dry.

3. Louisiana Lurkers

Britney actually thinks she can get pregnant just by looking at these cookies. Go figure.

1 package of Nutter Butter cookies
black sparkle baking gel
white chocolate chips

Melt chocolate chips over low heat in a sauce pan.  Dip Nutter Butters into melted chocolate, place on wax paper and let cool.  Once dry, paint on the “Oops I Did It Again” face.

Not again!

And that friends, is what you can find peering out of your plastic pumpkin if you stop by the trailer of terror.

Back for seconds.

If you hurry, you can make your own trashy treats (minus the tetanus shot) under your own roof before the door gets banged down by ghouls tonight.

Go on now and git’r’done. Even if it involves an ex.



6 thoughts on “One Night Stand

  1. NancyBrown says:

    Darling sweet treats for the little tricksters!

  2. I loved trashy, pre meltdown Britney. It was all about gas stations, bare feet and driving with your baby in the front seat.

  3. dannadesigns says:

    Ha Ha! I love the story about Britney and Kevin. The recipes are awesome too!

  4. alyson says:

    Lookin good! Loved this post!

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