Unabashedly Trashy on a Private Plane

Is it possible to act like taking a private jet is no big deal?

For some, yes. For me, hell no.

As I have stated before, white trash is doing something you know is a tad inappropriate but doing it anyway while not giving a rat’s ass. And it seems as if I fit this description every time I try to ‘be cool’ about outrageous things I get to do. So while riding in a private jet, I was my typical fabulously trashy self (hey, at least I’m consistent).

If taking a private plane is second nature to you, there is no need to take a photo of your transportation.

Hey Mom – look what I’m riding in!

But when you’re classy like me and think this may be your one and only opportunity to ever board a jet plane like a superstar (I’m the hired help), you go bananas and try to document the trip so you can prove you were actually on the plane.

Fancy folks are not impressed with the gold plated seat belt. I, on the other hand acted like it was a solid gold and felt the need to capture the moment.

Doing my very best Vanna White impersonation with the fabulous accessory. Impressive, I know.

Private planes have heavily stocked liquor cabinets that I was happy to help empty.  And, when you constantly travel via private jet, you know to sit in the seats with cup holders to hold your tasty beverages.

Not me. I had to sit on the couch because the planes I normally ride in don’t contain living room furniture.  Therefore, I had my neighbor hold my wine glass when my hands were busy.

Seat mates = cup holders on private planes.

And the glass remained in tact during landing. A classy experiment we had going on. Our traveling companions were not as amused. Go figure.

The truly fabulous jet setter knows that pilots fly the plane.  I of course had to capture the moment in the cockpit in case I forgot.

Pilots flying a plane. How outrageous.

After helping the flight attendant clean out the liquor cabinet, I had no shame in becoming her best friend. And of course I had to solidify our new found friendship with a photo.

The ever patient Chelsea who provided endless refills. You know she’s secretly thinking that this flight seems never ending with a passenger like me.

The fabulous jet setting crowd know that they can carry whatever they want onto the aircraft. I got so excited to bring the Milwaukee Public Market millionth customer gift basket aboard (over my dead body was that basket going under the plane to get banged up after the great ‘sweet potato incident’) that I spilled its contents boarding the plane, horrifically watching my loot hit the tarmac (you can breathe a sigh of relief – all of my goodies remained in mint condition.  But I don’t think the flight crew had ever seen anyone loose marbles over a cookbook the way I did as I galloped down the stairs to collect my scattered basket).

I would not let my loot leave my side. And I would not shut up about it, referring to myself as “one in a million girl.” Annoying? Yes. But not to me!

And after all that running around the runway, gathering my basket belongings, I hustled up into the plane to get a snapshot of myself acting like a lady of leisure in the talent’s seat (of course before he got on).

Oh Dahling. This old piece of metal? No biggie, I fly around in it all of the time. Where’s my glass of champs?

Oh this private jet thing is no big deal. If you’re a billionaire.

CBXB

43 thoughts on “Unabashedly Trashy on a Private Plane

  1. Celiac and Allergy Adventures says:

    What do you do for work that you’re able to go on a private jet?! 🙂

  2. Katie Glenn says:

    I’m with ya! I’d be taking pictures of anything that didn’t move! Thanks for the laugh!

  3. LOVE your blog, so happy I found it. I can’t wait to read more, keep up the great work!

  4. Carrie Wood says:

    Megan, you make me smile! Sounds like an awesome job! Good for you. Can’t wait to follow more posts.

  5. Oh wow!!!! What fun! Sounds incredible!!!!

  6. The Landy says:

    Strewth, how did you say you get a job like yours? I vould even put up with trying to find that fish dish or whatever the Deva wants!!! Good look out there!

  7. lycly says:

    Looks like soooo much fun!!! I would have totally taken a million pictures too 🙂

  8. Nancy says:

    This was a fabulous!! I weeped from both ends, I laughed so hard!! Would have loved to seen the basket tumble caper. Thanks for the belly laugh.

  9. Nancy says:

    Trashy blood relative commenting here. That should of read wept from both ends

    I bet you’re so proud??

  10. Becky Brodbine says:

    Captain, you are the most fabulous person I know! I have never laughed so hard. I’m looking forward to your next private plan adventure!!

  11. hahaha! This post is so funny! I’d do the EXACT SAME THING, except I’m ALWAYS getting off on private jets. 😉

  12. Again, I’m living vicariously through your posts.

  13. kellisamson says:

    You are so hilarious and joyous and fun! Everyone must get a kick out of working with you!

  14. AGIE says:

    How cool! Nice post

  15. You are such a beee-yatch. I am SO jealous of you. I once went on a trip to Las Vegas in Barbara Walters’ former private jet. Way cool.

  16. ogpeelar says:

    I get so jelly of you and your awesome job!!! Haha

  17. it seems a great experience! I want to take a ride :D!

  18. gfreeglow says:

    I would have been right up there with you finishing off that booze!

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