My cat Ted recently experienced his first heartache (click here to catch up) with our kitty neighbor McCain and you sweet readers have been worried, asking daily about my furball’s well-being (in the South, that calls for a “bless your heart”), so here’s an update.
Apparently, mending a broken feline heart requires the exact medicine used for healing a busted human heart.
Incessant sleep and wallowing on the sofa is a necessity in the rejected heart department (I left the Lifetime channel on for Teddy to watch sappy Christmas movies all day while I was away at work, of course).
Sharing a happy hour drink with your best friend always makes a kit cat feel better (don’t judge me with my head in the sink – a mom’s gotta do what a mom’s gotta do!).
Cat rejection also requires the stuffing of one’s face with favorite snacks (yes, Ted prefers green peas…while I prefer a bag of potato chips).
Long soaks in the tub also accompany broken heart repair. Ted tried this, as he’s seen me wash my cares away there many times.
After the failed bath, Teddy thought wine sounded good to help mask the pain.
And of course one too many gulps of wine immediately led to heavy slumber.
After snoozing off the booze, Ted spied a likely heartbreak treat.
And I knew he was feeling better because when I shouted “NO BEAR!” he carried on as if he was deaf.
An even better sign of his mending was our tug-o-war game over the chocolate.
The ultimate test came when I walked around in full-on sequins as Teddy’s human disco ball (he loves shiny just like his mom) yesterday morning. I patiently stood just so, letting the the sun reflect off my shirt to see how he would react.
A sigh of relief as I left for work, knowing that I could turn the Lifetime channel off, pull the shades up to let some light into the house and put any sharp objects back in their designated spots.
And when that cheap trick cat McCain sauntered by this window, Teddy didn’t bat an eye.
I of course shouted at the cat “eat your heart out,” as any good mom would do.