My Cat is Making Me Fat

I woke up early this morning to work out before heading into the office.  The second I turned my lamp on and laid back down to check messages for a second (and was actually reading an email from a fellow blogger – the hilarious Jell-Jell from I’ll Sleep When Their Grown), Teddy came running into the room like a cheetah, announced his presence roaring like a lion, pounced on my bed like a panther and promptly claimed territory in the nook of my arm.


Cat in one hand, camera over my head in the other. Certified CRAY CRAY CAT LADY.

Typically Ted has to be carried to bed (he doesn’t like his paws to touch the ground), so I was immediately suspicious of what he’d done while I was fast asleep.

Lovely view.

Guilty of something my furry friend?

Then I realized he wanted to admire himself in the nearest mirror like the Wicked Queen in ‘Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs,’ (I don’t know where he gets it), which is why he waited until the light was on to get in bed with me.

Like the Wicked Queen in 'Snow White,' Teddy LOVES looking at his reflection anytime of the day.

Mirror Mirror on the Wall, who’s the prettiest of them all? (I can assure you it wasn’t me at the ass crack of dawn this morning).

I tried putting a pillow over my head to go back to sleep with the shining light on, as I was up an hour and a half before I needed to be – and couldn’t go back to sleep because I felt guilty that I wasn’t working off the wine from last night.  I tried to move just so in the hopes that it would piss Teddy off and he’d leap from the bed.  All the wiggling just made him nestle in more.

no where

Going somewhere?

I stayed put until our ‘normal’ time to get out of bed came around.

That wine sure looks good on my hips, Ted.


22 thoughts on “My Cat is Making Me Fat

  1. Nancy says:

    Ahhh, yes. My Simon exhibits similar anti-workout behaviors. He either curls up on my belly and nuzzles his head against my chest when the time comes, or plants himself right between my feet if I’m silly enough to think I can exercise in my own apartment. Either way, you know…fat.

  2. I love Teddy! He is the fairest of them all. Best buddies fur-ever! Bisous Bailey =^.^=

  3. He’s such a handsome one 😀 and I wish I could blame my cat for not working out, hahaha, anthough she does crawl on top of my back/belly when I should get up!

  4. WhenJmetK says:

    Lol hilarious. My Pomeranian is similar in some ways. He loves to nestle in little nooks and corners that my body creates when I’m sleeping, however as soon as I make a move that doesn’t cater to him, he is out of there..pfft. Divo

    Kathleen of

  5. It’s Teddy’s world and you get to live in it, I can tell. Years ago, my cat was sweet and purring and acting too good and I knew something was up. I think she loved my paranoia. Anyway, that night, I started printing a page and went out of the room. When I came back, my printer was making a bad racket. She had picked up her sponge ball in her mouth, dropped and wedged it into my $500. printer and waited. One ruined printer.

  6. I’m sure Teddy loves you and you’re an awesome owner and stuff…but I’m convinced you will find out something eventually! He feels guilty for seducing a neighbor cat through the window or gotten a turd stuck between the litter box and the wall. 😀

  7. FreeUrCloset says:

    Haha love your cat. Great post.

    XOXO Nensi

  8. Gary Lum says:

    lol, great story 🙂

  9. Awww. Love that last picture.

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