How to Trash Up the 90210 of Nashville

What’s in a zip code? Everything (especially for shallow folks like me).

Since moving to Nashville, I longed to claim residence on the posh West side.  After searching for a place to call home a few years ago on a very strict budget, I fell in love with a little duplex in the highly coveted area.  And the two top selling points – the fancy zip code and the fact that it was two miles away from my own personal Cheers (that delivers food to my front door, might I add) – a classy lady like yours truly has standards, you know.  So in a leap of faith and in hopes with my fingers, toes and legs crossed that I could always make rent, I went for it.

Now I currently live in the 90210 of Nashville. Oh, snap!

How does one live only a few miles away from this house and keep it classy?

Share the same zip...not the same lifestyle.

Share the same zip…not the same lifestyle.

Well, I don’t. There’s not much class (not surprised are you?) in my neck of the ‘hood (which is more Skid Row than Beverly Hills – but I STILL HAVE THAT DAMN ZIP CODE!) Especially with the help of my neighbor.

When you pull into my drive and park your vehicle, this is the view of my neighbor’s gorgeous shed that might literally blow down if someone came by and huffed and puffed.

The beautifully rusted shed, damaged in a flood three years ago.

The beautifully rusted shed, damaged in a flood three years ago.

My neighbor can also grow mushrooms (that stand out like eye sores next to our crew a few miles over with their pristine yards) in our lawn like he’s Papa Smurf.

I tried to spruce up our joint yard by adding an outside porch wing to my mini manse. Click here to read about the building ordeal.

Wing'd up in class

Kinda classy, right?

blah blah

90210 cocktails – in trashy attire.

And after all of my efforts, this happened….

bly bly

Gone with the wind, not so fabulous.

blah blah

A Nashville 90210 nightmare.

And then another storm blew through, further trashing up the joint…

Making it hard to stay classy

Mother nature could give an F what zip code this umbrella resides in.

And now, I’m adding to the lovely trashiness with my now ultra unfabulous umbrella.

Damaged Goods

Damaged goods.

I’ve even managed to grow mold with my green thumb on top of my snazzy shade protector.

Managed to grow mold with my green thumb

Green with envy, are you?

But nothing quite tops what I came home to yesterday (on my neighbor’s side of the yard, FYI). A couch. In case you get tired while you’re driving by and want to stop, lay down and take a nap.  Hell, I might even bring out a Skinny Pirate for you.

blah blah blah

Naps for sale.

Keepin’ it classy in the 90210 of Nashville ‘hood. Someone’s gotta do it.



35 thoughts on “How to Trash Up the 90210 of Nashville

  1. jessmittens says:

    hahaha this made me laugh. Especially the couch.
    We have a junkyard down the side of our house currently. Need a broken microwave? A rusted candle stick? No worries. And yeah, we don’t live in a trashy part of town.

  2. Love your style Captn’… Cheers!

  3. You gotta love your neighbors, or so they say…I personally have always had nightmare neighbors, and I live in a nice neighborhood! I had a lady that lived across the street that would CUSS out her kids every morning before school so loud you could hear her in my kitchen. Then one day she pulled a gun on her son and the police came. Then they foreclosed on her house and threw all their CRAP in the street in front of their house. So see, it could be worse….and that couch looks pretty comfy!

    • OMFG! Cussing out kids, a gun and the police?! THAT is a classy neighbor. I’m counting my lucky stars as I type! And I sat down and had a drink on the couch, waving at cars after work one night. I think I’m officially the crazy lady of the neighborhood. Someone is probably blogging a post about me. Karma!

  4. FreeUrCloset says:

    Lmao, while reading this funny post, I was about to make a comment about you being classy by not having a couch or three legged plastic chairs in front of your mans, and died laughing as I read further … now all I can say is that I didn’t notice any Christmas lights on your porch — classy?

  5. lycly says:

    Hahaha! I’m so sorry the wind trashed your umbrella – it looked so cute!

  6. Becky Brodbine says:

    Sooooo funny!! I love your “hood”! You serve the best skinny pirates in town! Now…..about that umbrella….we might have to go shopping soon!

  7. Phil Lanoue says:

    Humm…let’s see, a busted up moldy umbrella, an outdoor couch, excessive outdoor drinking, yup, that settles it. You instantly qualify for automatic South Carolina citizenship. You will be welcome here any time. 😀

  8. amy says:

    This is AMAZING!

  9. Good grief! Get the couch out of there and plant something fast-growing to hide the shed. That looks like MY town! Beautiful homes, (many Antebellum), and then trash heaps next block.There is a lovely B&B out in the country that I would turn around and go back before I got to it , had I come from out of town.The place is great, but you have shacks with upholstered furniture on the porch and rusted cars before you get to it. Of course, a lot of that is in many places.You try to go to the Mts. in Colo. , expecting Aspen and you have dilapidated shacks and cars on cider blocks…I don’t understand.

    • I know! It is so frustrating Tonette! The couch is leaving today – thankfully. What would be a good fast-growing plant to hide the shed? I’m dying to do it because it truly is the first thing people see when they pull into my side of the duplex.

  10. Healthy Glow Nutrition says:

    OMG I laughed so hard at this post (minus the wind damage of course) As you know that I live in a very nice neighborhood (well sort of) across the main road, around the corner is where all the poshy houses are. My ancient apartment building is full of wonderful tenants. Sometimes their guests park on the lawn! YES the f-ing lawn! Very classy! Sometimes they take over the entire front lawn and hold “garage” sales with all their crap. I get so embarrassed that I use the side entrance lol ahhh the life lol

    • OMFG!! That is SO funny! We truly live in the same type of areas. 🙂 I LOVE that the guests feel free to park on the lawn. I am so relieved that the entrance to my duplex is around back – so I don’t have to be seen coming and going (like you and the side entrance). Isn’t it fun to be trashy in a classy area?!

      • Healthy Glow Nutrition says:

        Ha ha ha I knew we had so much in common. My daughter always asks me why I use the side entrance. I’m like isn’t it obvious? I keep my place inside so nice BUT the outside is nowhere near as pretty. I had to complain for them to fix the grass etc. I refuse to move because the rent is good and so is the ZIP code. The subway is across the road, and I live where we call “mid-town” (good thing in the city lol I can go on and on about this place and my lovely neighbors. Loud music, disgusting smelly odours of their cooking etc. I love this place lol

      • Ha! I a good place with a fabulous zip code is hard to find! Don’t you feel a like strutting a little bit when someone asks for your zip and when you give it, they perk up a bit? Oh snap! And someday, your daughter will understand about that side entrance! 🙂

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