Trashy Travel Tricks

I’m a germaphobe (although you’d never guess it when I become a bathroom bartender (which of course, I’m an expert in) at sporting events and concerts – but alcohol kills the germs, OK? At least that’s what I tell myself to save money).

When I am traveling on a low-budget, staying at a one star hotel or residing in a cabin owned by complete strangers that rent it out on a regular basis, I come fully equipped with my Bed in a Bag. It’s a rip off of a sleeping bag but it’s made out of sheets. There’s even room for my pillow! And I cover up with my blanket from home. Psycho? Yes.

Bed in a Bag!

Do I look ridiculous? Absolutely. Do I sleep easier, knowing the bed bugs won’t bite? Absolutely!

I always pack my flip-flops for less than perfectly cleaned showers and slippers to wear around the hotel room. But when forced to make an unexpected stop while traveling at midnight, I’m forced to compromise. I put a plastic bag down in the shower to stand on (because I might get someone elses’ left over hair from the shower curtain on my feet – THE HORROR!) and use my socks as my slippers as soon as I get out of the shower. I don’t put them on, as it’s easier to scoot around the tile.

Makeshift slippers.

Classy makeshift slippers.

A traveling companion always helps when you’re having to touch all kinds of things you dare not (doorknobs, remote control, the comforter on the bed). Luckily for me, I often travel with my dad and he acts as my official gross hotel knob toucher.

When the light was shining too brightly at 1am on a recent trip to Iowa, I asked if he could shut the lamp off in the corner (a gal needs her beauty sleep, ya dig?).Β  Luckily (or lazily) for him, he has long arms and was able to perform this task while seated.







Thank God for Dads!

As you can probably tell, I typically do not stay the Ritz Carlton, forcing me to become a raging lunatic over germs. Am I missing any tricks and secretly acquiring stranger germs?

Tell me before I get someone else’s cold from last week!



45 thoughts on “Trashy Travel Tricks

  1. Amanda says:

    Good tricks! Hahaha. I’m totally paranoid about bed bugs and thoroughly examine every hotel room, even expensive ones, before even opening my suitcase!

  2. Sorry, I can’t help you. I embrace the germs. I Live with multiple dogs.

  3. Two things…first you read my mind..the bathroom bartender is a Germaphome????? But the whole alcohol kills germs makes sense. Second….HOLY HOTDOG that is the coolest thing I’ve seen. I bet that will go viral on pintrest. I need me one of those!

  4. Phil Lanoue says:

    I’m assuming you use the ‘pre dispense’ method of using paper toweling to dry your hands in a public restroom?
    When confronted with one of those paper towel dispensers where you have to (actually touch) the lever and push it down to make the paper come out do you pre-dispense the paper and leave it hanging while you wash your hands?
    That way, you can simply grab the dangling paper and rip it free, dry your hands, then naturally use what’s left to turn off the faucet (if required, I like the auto turn off ones best) and then use it to touch the door knob and then fling it behind you into a hopefully conveniently placed garbage can as you leave. πŸ˜€

    • Oh Phil, do you have my number! That’s EXACTLY what I do – and I freak out if there’s simply a roll of paper towels that people touch with wet hands to unravel sitting by the sink. Port-a-Potties are my worst nightmare. Which is probably why I always carry a flask of liquor when I’m out and about. I can just pour some on the handle and voila – open sesame….!

  5. Even at the best of hotels, it’s always good to put the remote in a ziploc bag. The adult films are only one remote click away. A friend told me this. No, seriously, a friend.

    • Uh huh. I have ‘a friend’ like that too…
      I love the idea of a ziploc bag over the remote! That’s going on my travel list of musts from now on (I usually just make whoever is traveling with me touch the remote buttons for fear of catching the plague). Sweet, huh?

  6. st sahm says:

    Reblogged this on St Sahm and commented:
    This is amazing!!

    May I respectfully add mini lysol travel cans and disposable slippers because you cannot pack nasty ass hotel floor slippers into your bag and take home billions of stranger germs.

  7. Phew, at first I thought you said Germanophobe…that would have prodded a rant. :).

  8. rebecca2000 says:

    Makes me wish I had a daddy. I am a germaphobe in hotels.

  9. stylentonic says:

    hahaha ! super tricks! xxx

  10. Ha, I’m a little crazy too about germs. Cool tricks! I usually travel with travel size of Lysol, Clorox, or any cleaning products to spray everything. I get them a Bed Bath & Beyond.

  11. lycly says:

    My aunt always bleached out the tub and sink before using them! I personally avoid the comforter at all costs – they usually don’t wash them each time! (SOOO GROSS)

  12. shiroknowes says:

    Great post and you aren’t psycho you’re right ! I’ve nominated you for ” The Shine On Award, you can find for all details at my blog, have a lovely evening ! Xoxo

  13. OMG. I know you told me about that bag, but I’m def getting it, plus I will bring a box of chlorox wipes for the toilet, doorknobs, tv remote–you get the picture. I’m still cringing at the things I touched. Ick ick ice

  14. elkeeb says:

    My bf is a germaphobe too. I told him about the bed in a bag!

  15. alyson says:

    Love the bed in a bag!! Hilarious!!

  16. I think its very sound advice and I’m with you Dad’s come in handy!

  17. Ha, I do the same “sleeping in the sheet” thing on the road, I thought I was the only one πŸ™‚

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