How to Take Yoga Lessons From Your Pussy

I bust my ass (quite literally) in hot yoga a few times a week. I strategically avoid knocking down my neighbor, trying to perfect a head stand (while secretly hoping no other drop of sweat but my own hits my mat -eeeeeeww!).Β  When I get antsy and know that my sweaty leg will no doubt hit some poor soul’s head, I wait until I get home to show off for Ted.

Last night after class, I came home to perfect my tri-pod head stand. Little did I know I had my own yoga master under my own roof. While I was showing Mr. Bear my moves, he yawned, made eye contact with me, holding my gaze and slid his back leg up through his two front paws. WTF?!

That's all you can do?

That’s all you can do?

Then when I asked him how in the hell he did the pose, he stretched even further by laying his head down on all three limbs. BITCH! I can barely get my forehead to my knee (he obviously doesn’t get his flexibility from me).

blah

I’m too tired and you’re too obnoxious to show you my tricks.

When I pleaded with this show off one more time, he simply opened his eyes (I actually think I saw Teddy roll his eyes at me. AT ME!), yawned like a lion and took a nap.

blah

I can even do this with my eyes shut. Duh.

So there’s how you get your cat to teach you yoga. You don’t.

But this has earned Ted a new nickname – Yogi Bear-a – it’s all he’d answer to last night. Diva!

CBXB

CBXB!

32 thoughts on “How to Take Yoga Lessons From Your Pussy

  1. He rolled his eyes at you. SO FUNNY. Kitties are so flexible, make him do CatCow with you, ha ha!

  2. Hahaha! Go Yogi Bear!

  3. awwww yogi bear! I LOVE IT!! Happy Friday!

  4. FreeUrCloset says:

    LMAO, even though I do not have a cat, I just had to find out what Ted’s been teaching you now … That cat’s such a show off. Awesome nick name!

    XOXO Nensi

    • A show off indeed! He couldn’t wait to rub his flexibility into my face! Then I told him I might get a dog and he didn’t speak to me the rest of the evening….wonder what ‘surprises’ might be in store for me when I get home this evening…!

  5. If it’s any consolation, I don’t have cat-like reflexes either

  6. I would not put it past Mr. Bear to conduct yoga classes while you’re at work. You better roll him and check for uncashed checks and money. We need a TeddyCam to watch him during the day πŸ™‚

  7. Phil Lanoue says:

    That boy is too smart for his own good sometimes. He not only can so easily get into all those positions, he also knows you can’t.
    And giving you the roll eyes attitude is almost worse then bragging.

  8. Kitties are the best.

  9. LOL! I feel the same way when I take my Bikram classes! Love your title, I giggled out loud!

  10. Hey CC!

    Please come by and pick up your award(s)! http://wp.me/p2zGQ7-1dO Congratulations!

    CUTE cat – oh, and I want a pair of rain boots like yours!

  11. st sahm says:

    I’d do hot yoga with you and ‘bear’ but no more open sessions for me. I was behind a lady who must have suffered from gut rot and farted with every downward dog. I’m still damaged…

  12. Haha, what a show off. He is a cutie though πŸ™‚

  13. […] How to Take Yoga Lessons From Your Pussy (cowboysandcrossbones.wordpress.com) […]

  14. holley4734 says:

    I need to try this again. πŸ™‚

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