How to Throw a Party For Your Pussy

Oh the joys of being a cat mom! Parties aren’t just for folks who have human children (yawn) – us crazy cat ladies can find just about any reason to celebrate our love of pussy.

This May marks the fifth year Teddy B. and I have been in a relationship (I’m not going to lie, it took a little coaxing early on to persuade him to have his world revolve around yours truly but now he can hardly breathe without glancing my way for permission – oh wait that’s the other way around. I look to him for direction – I forgot I was talking about a cat there for a second) and why not acknowledge our happiness together?

First one must have a theme for a pussy party and I thought since we were celebrating our fifth anniversary, why not call it Cinco de Teddy?

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Doesn’t he wear a sombrero well?!

You then must decide on party attire for you and the guest of honor.  I played along with the theme by wearing a T-shirt that captured what everyone in attendance was thinking…

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Who, moi?!

Accompanying the darling shirt was a pair of leopard print jeans – I know, fitting right?

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You can call me crazy but at least I’ll look cute…I think.

My kit cat’s giddy up was a perfect match for Cinco de Teddy – complete with a sombrero and poncho.

Ted's attire

As you can imagine, Ted could hardly wait to put this on.

To get your pussy pumped up, decor is a must for the party and I included balloons in this category.  Excitement coarsed through TB’s bod as he tried to claw a balloon open to suck on helium (he’s such a little party animal).

Who knew Ted loved balloons

Wondering if the balloon would hold him in midair…

Once I thwarted the helium heist, I showed Ted the other party elements like his serving bowls – which to his delight held three times the amount of food he’s normally allotted (while already a ‘big boned’ cat it was his party, so he deserved the extra helpings, yes?).

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Double the pleasure, triple the food fun.

Other decor should include snaps of you and your pussy’s life together.  Grandma CBXB has a Teddy Bear Meow scrapbook she keeps in her classroom (see, I’m not the only crazy in the family – she proudly displays the love of her grandpet daily…ahhhh!), which I accompanied with our most recent Christmas card and a gift from our fabulous blogging friend, The Buxom Gourmand.

Yes....

Yes. It’s true. I’m the best cat mom ever.

Look at this painting that my ultra talented gal pal from The Buxom Gourmand crafted for Teddy! How much more puurfect could this be?! We are proudly displaying our new favorite artwork in our mini manse. We love and thank you, Bronwin!

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Ted, martinis and pink leopard print? Oh MY!

It’s important to capture the calm before the storm (in this case, shoving a cat into a poncho and sombrero), so be sure to snap a pic prior to the start of the party.

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If he only knew what was coming…

Before traumatizing Ted with his party attire, I let him sniff around the treat table…

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Gimme a cupcake!

Sometimes dressing a pussy can take some liquid courage, so I worked on mine outside while Ted explored the party fun inside.

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I think he might hate me…but oh well! Gimme another Skinny Pirate, please!

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I’m thinking of all of the paybacks coming my way…

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And yet I keep the photo shoot going…

Siesta time

Until Teddy was so embarrassed he pretended it was siesta time.

In order to perk your pissy pussy back into a party mood, get out the sweets!

yum

Gma CBXB baked goodies.

I think I like

Turning Ted’s poncho frown upside down!

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What sombrero?

Feels so good when it hits the lips (or whiskers in Ted's case).

Feels so good when it hits the lips (or whiskers in Ted’s case).

Enticing your feline with cat cupcakes will make all of the clothing cares disappear… (yeah, right. I will be punished for the next five years over this party).

enjoyed

Thoroughly enjoyed.

Be careful after all the sugar rush because you’re sure to have party poopers crash after consuming.

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One cupcake and it’s couch time?!

Teddy was so exhausted from all of that licking, he had to pass out with his back to party goers.

Party pouting = FAIL!

Party pouting = FAIL!

I suggest you heckle your pussy back into the party spirit if you catch them napping.

Fiesta time Ted!

Fiesta time Ted!

If that doesn’t work, mocking the sleeping beauty will totally do the trick.

Mockery will totally win this feline over.

It’s exhausting being the life of the party.

The combination of heckling and mockery will make the silently sleeping cat love you more than life itself.

He's so over me

He’s so over me.

As the party is winding down, you’ll find it hard to keep the party attire off of your pussy.

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I have this sneaking suspicion that I will be losing sight in one eye to a claw…

And that folks is how you throw a party for your pussy (or dog, bird, rat, snake, ferret, rabbit, snail, fish, etc…)

Party on!

CBXB

CBXB!

40 thoughts on “How to Throw a Party For Your Pussy

  1. So is it only the ladies in your family tree who are insane, or is it pretty much hit and miss? Lol. I do agree that you must heckle people er, whoever tries to go to sleep while the party is still rockin’!

  2. OMG, you really went all out, you crazy cat lady. Hahaha! Adorable as usual 🙂

  3. You’re hilarious! And on a weird related note, there’s a song that I IMMEDIATELY thought of by Kate Nash called “Free My Pussy.” A bit different than Teddy B. butttttt, you know 🙂

  4. Phil Lanoue says:

    Part of the Chorus of “Stray Cat Strut” was going through my head as I was reading this:
    “Stray cat strut, well, I’m a ladies cat
    I’m a feline Casanova, hey man that’s that”

    Although I know Teddy is as far from being a stray as possible he certainly does “got cat class and got cat style”

    Well maybe not sooo much while wearing a sombrero but I suspect there is a price you will pay for that little indiscretion.

    • You suspected correctly, Phil. I’m already paying the price for putting this cat with “class and cat style” in a sombrero. What was I thinking?! Ted loves the song you associate with him, by the way!

  5. Chef Doru says:

    Love your pussy ??? and your humor. keep up the good work.

  6. OHEMGEEEEEEEEE!
    Throwing it down Pussy Party Style – nice raise of the bar once again!
    And exactly where did you find that itty bitty sombrero?

    • I had to search. And search. And search for a sombrero. Do you know how many looks of pity I received upon going into a store and simply asking, “Do you have a tiny sombrero that will fit my cat?” I finally found one at a rinky dink party store. Score (for me…not so much for Ted)!

  7. FreeUrCloset says:

    I just have to say, that is probably the best title for a post ever. Love Teddy’s sombrero and scarf getup.

  8. Can’t wait to see where The Bear leaves the remnants of that chocolate frosting confetti. Cause you know it’s coming.

  9. You crazy girl but your cat isn’t smiling tho!

  10. Crocs Are Awful says:

    OMG this is tooooooo cute! I thought it was just my cat that loves cake! She is especially fond of lemon cake. And hummous. Hahaha. Teddy in his hat, is just beyond adorable! xx

    • Why thank you! Isn’t it funny that some cats like sweets? I never would have guessed. Ted also likes green peas and tomato soup – maybe our cats should get together for a buffet?

      • Crocs Are Awful says:

        Lol! Kitty is beyond greedy. She stands on her back legs and mews at the biscuit cupboard! Hahaha

  11. girl you crack me up! love that he dresses for the occasion as well and the fact that he ate out of a margarita glass just makes it! party on, pussy, party on!

  12. I want a pawty like that!! Only my human only with have to wear the costume!

  13. Happy Anniversary! Love the cupcakes and your friend is very talented.

  14. dannadesigns says:

    LOL! You are hilarious! What an awesome ‘pussy party’ 🙂 ❤

  15. vudragovich says:

    I love the idea of meowing on helium! And next time I suggest kat nip on the cupcakes 😀

  16. JK Bevill - Lost Creek Publishing says:

    Reblogged this on lost creek publishing.

  17. SerachShiro says:

    Very lovely post and I love Teddy ! 🙂

  18. […] Cinco de Teddy was a highlight last year and […]

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