Pussy Paybacks are Hell

I thought my little fur love, Teddy Bear was over the fact that I put him in a sombrero to celebrate our anniversary a few weekends ago (click here to read about shenanigans of shoving a cat into a poncho).  I came home from work last night and put my bags in their resting place.  I knew something was up when TB sauntered over and nonchalantly made a nook for himself as close as possible to the duo.

I’ve never really paid much attention to these bright ass bags before. But now I think I love them.

Then Mr. Bear decided to pretend like he was going to take a nap and camp out all evening long further solidifying my suspicions of the debauchery that was about to take place.

Fishy scene.

As soon as I turned my back for a second, I heard the crunching of leather and about got whiplash from my head spinning around so quickly.

Fuchsia leather tastes so good.

As I sternly threatened no supper if he didn’t stop, Ted just licked his lips and acted as if nothing just happened.

Whisker lickin’ good.

I physically removed him from the area (up to his window perch – sure to distract him right?) and upon my return to the room four seconds later, Teddy B. acted like he was deeply involved in shadow watching.

Does my shadow make me look fat?

Trying to distract the cat, I unsuccessfully tried to make  shadow puppets to lure him away.

Is that your attempt to make a shadow rabbit? Pitiful.

Pondering the beauty of a neon purse.

Having a moment of weakness when I thought he was simply testing my boundaries, I lowered my guard for a split second.  I mean, he was simply admiring the screaming loud color of his mother’s bag.

I need sunglasses. Badly.

And then, all hell broke loose.

I’ll teach you to put me in a sombrero!

Teddy was giving me the biggest “F you Mom” a feline could merit.

Seeing his fangs from this angle gave me inspiration for his Halloween costume. Dracula, of course.

I vant to suck your purse.

Suddenly, TB actually seemed to hear the tone in my voice as I yelled at him to knock it the F off.

Oh she means business.

He was so scared, he immediately took a bath during my verbal rant.

Feeling filthy after his dirty work.

I really got to him, don’t you agree?

I think Ted just wanted me to constantly be reminded of him and now I think about him 2,176 more times per day when I go to carry my purse. The little shit.

I can’t wait for Halloween…

CBXB