Weekend Winks – Shit Show Style

You know how you feel when life decides to sucker punch you in the face? I am familiar with the feeling (aren’t we all?). Going about our business, minding our own business and tending to our business, when out of the blue the sky seems to fall an our life becomes an immediate shit show…

Thank God for t-shirts that say it all.

Thank God for t-shirts that say it all and before noon screwdrivers.

It’d been one of those weeks (that seems to keep reoccurring over the last four months) and I couldn’t wait to meet up with my First Mate and her hubs for a few happy hour libations on Friday.

The happy hour trio

The happy hour trio.

It was a dreary start to the weekend, so we were more than happy to stay dry and hydrate our livers while rain soaked the Nashville streets.

on a dreary day

This calls for another round.

Just what the weekend ordered....a Skinny Pirate.

Just what the weekend ordered….a Skinny Pirate.

Cheersing to the weekend!

And many repeated cheers to the weekend!

Happy to return home and snuggle with my main feline squeeze Teddy B., I found a note taped to my door, which was odd but then thought maybe it was a letter from a secret admirer or better yet a clue to the beginning of a very cool scavenger hunt…but of course it wasn’t anything of such fun.

Letter of lovely news.

Letter of lovely news.

My mini-manse (and the zip code it comes with – read here) is one side of a duplex and the owner’s stoner son lives on the other half with his gal pal.Β  This note I received basically said in a very formal way, “I got my girlfriend pregnant on accident and now you’re f’d because we need your side of the duplex by the end of July because we don’t have any money to move and need more space. Sorry and let us know if we can do anything.”

First, I was utterly flabbergasted, as when my neighbor told me of the pregnancy news a few months ago, I asked him point-blank if they’d need my space with the answer being, “No, we’d move out before asking you to.Β  You’re totally fine – you may just be getting a new tenant.”

Second, I was completely livid that I’m paying the price for someone else’s life changing event. And can you do anything for me? You bet your ass you can. Do you have $3,000 for first and last month’s rent, pet deposit, security deposit and moving expenses? Oh, and about 12 hours per week to look at places during lunch, after work and all weekend long? Along with hours for the boxing and organizing your belongings?

Lastly, I kinda lost my mind. Life hasn’t been easy the past few years and I’ve taken solitude and pride in my little slice of my neighborhood, being able to scrape by and have finally – in the past few weeks – felt that I was getting back up on my feet financially. So this news feels like salt being scooped by the barrel into an open wound.

So what’s a gal do when she goes off the deep end? Buy a pack of cigarettes of course (which by the way, are the most expensive habit in the world. $6 for one pack? WTF?). I am a non-non-non smoker. Like don’t socially smoke. Never crave a cigarette. But once every decade it seems as if the moment of sheer insanity raids my body and I feel the need to become a chain smoker.

CODE RED

CODE RED

While sitting outside, bawling my eyes out I thought I would share just how ridiculous I look while smoking (and as I threw butts in the yard (because I’m having an acrimonious moment and can do that), I was secretly hoping a smolder might catch the lawn on fire…).

Smoking wreck

Smoking wreck. Not a natural when it comes to nicotine.

And while I let this news get the better of me –Β  I missed out on a friend’s party, a few days of Nashville sunshine, working out and maybe single-handedly gave myself lung cancer in one sitting – I ran out to have my dad ‘baby’ me (you know, say things will be OK while I’m crying, take me to eat Mexican and offer to pay on student loan bills so I have a little extra dough for moving) on Saturday night. Sometimes you just need your stand-by guy.

Dad's to the rescue...

Dad to the emotional rescue!

While this news isn’t the end of the world (although it truly did feel like it this weekend), it just snapped me back into place of being the girl who once again needs all the help she can get, as I watched my pride sink back into the size of an inch worm. Luckily, I have amazing family, friends and a fur ball who stand by my side – whether it be forcing me out of my house to get fresh air (and a cocktail), wiping the snot off my nose or making sure I don’t resort to selling my body for extra moving money (I’m kidding mother), I know everything will be fine.

Cuddle dud let me maul him into the wee hours of the evenings.

Cuddle dud let me maul him into the wee hours of the evenings.

On my way out of my beloved mini-manse, I’ll want to leave a note that simply says “SUCK IT.” And while I probably won’t, I will definitely be leaving behind a box of condoms.

Happy times are here again!

CBXB

CBXB!

62 thoughts on “Weekend Winks – Shit Show Style

  1. I’m so sorry, I know setbacks like this are tough. It’s hard to understand what good you are supposed to learn from them. Look at it this way, come a week or two before you move, stop cleaning up The Bears up chuck in the floor, that will serve as the new welcome mat for the new folks. And ask your vet for a dose of Acepromazine for Teddy, it’s like kitty Valium. It won’t really knock him out, but it will make him less stressed during the move.

    • Oh I so appreciate the advice for Teddy – that’s one of the main things I’ve been worried about since finding out this news. And while I’m still trying to understand the good in my current situation, I know it could be much worse. Just sucked the wind out of me, as I love my little mini-manse! πŸ™‚

  2. Ms B. BAD says:

    Everything happens for a reason, so lets hope a new move mneans a lot more exciting and new things are on the horizon! Stay positive!! xoxo

  3. silverkis says:

    Oh gosh, i’m soo so sorry to hear! I hate moving, not only because of the expenses involved and the sheer PAIN… but because i like my nest. I hope things turn around for better for you soon! Sending happy thoughts all the way from Singapore! XOXO

  4. Joyce Metz says:

    Well Little Megan….I haven’t forgotten the Rapist/Murderer who unscrewed your porch light hoping to snatch you in the dark….that story almost did me in! …..This one makes me question what they can and cannot do~I think Dave has some good advice. Can Dave find a wonderful, loving, caring guy that would appreciate a beautiful person inside and out like you….one that would make you feel safe? You need a Robert 20-years young:).
    I love you, ~Joyce

  5. oNanvbb says:

    Everybody has shit happen in there lives. Somedays are golden, somedays ate stone!! Hang in there! Hugs

  6. Soooo sorry! Moving sucks, especially when it isn’t on your terms. You will find a great place for you and Teddy Bear!
    xo K

    • Oh yes, we will! It’s the packing, unpacking and ‘customizing’ of my new place I have yet to find that I’m dreading. Well, that and the fact that cats don’t love change. Keep your fingers crossed for us! πŸ™‚

  7. Phil Lanoue says:

    Oh wow sorry to hear about this for real shit show that suddenly blind sided you with a punch in the gut. I’ve been there more then once and know how awful the whole damn thing can be. Plus I know first hand how great cats are with change. What could be more fun?
    If I was in your area I would definitely show up with my rusty pickup with the beer cans rattling around in the back to help you move stuff. I would even go as far as picking up (very) light boxes (you don’t have any books do you? those damn things weigh a ton) and items such as pillows and light bulbs.
    I’m betting this will all eventually turn out great for you, and let me get this round.

    • Ah, thanks Phil! How much fun would a post be about you having to cart my pillows, Ted’s feather bed and all of my light bulbs around in the back of your truck? It’s truly sucked and I let myself wallow in pity (obviously) over the weekend. Now, I’m just worried about having to break the news to Ted…it’s going to be all kinds of fun getting him acclimated to a new atmosphere. I feel like I may have to wear a pirate patch the rest of my life once I tell him….! πŸ™‚ I appreciate your kind words! Thank you, my friend.

      • Phil Lanoue says:

        Well I wouldn’t even call how you reacted wallowing in pity, I and most anybody would feel and act the same. Having to move is traumatic enough. Needing to move unexpectedly due to someone being an asshole is much worse. Ah f&#k I’m not making it any better by stating the obvious am I?
        Well know I got your back and Jack sends regards to Teddy. Jack was brought to SC via airplane, shoved under my seat in his cat carrier so you can imagine the non-stop thrill ride that was.

      • Oh boy….I may be seeking tips on how to calm a kit cat down after trauma – especially since you had a cat recover from being on an airplane?! That must have taken years for him to forgive you! πŸ™‚ Thanks for having my back – makes me feel good knowing that I wasn’t overreacting too badly! I just don’t like unexpected change…but then again, who does?!

  8. What a great post! Loving your blog, and where on earth did you get that shirt! It’s dope!

    • Thanks for the love! The shirt is bad ass, isn’t it? It comes in handy for the extra desperate times when there’s a need to wear your feelings on your chest! I got it at Urban Outfitters a few years back. I bet you could find one on eBay!

  9. Oh honey – I am so sorry. Sometimes it feels like when it rains it pours and it is hard to keep getting up no matter how small the blow may be. But you are one strong, fierce gal and I know that you won’t stay down for long. You are going to pick yourself up, kick some ass and look at this road bump in your rear view mirror as you head for bigger and better things. In the meantime – if you need to vent, we are all here for you. πŸ™‚ Hugs!

  10. A box of condoms, and a book on how babies are made, because let’s be honest, I think many people forget.

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