Trashtacular Moving Day Jesus Attire

You know, when I’m having a rough time of it (like getting kicked out of my mini manse due to my neighbor’s impending baby), not only do I tend to hydrate my liver over and over with Skinny Pirates, I like to look back at family photos of fun times.  While flipping through albums, I was reminded of how fabulously trashy my family can be while literally wearing emotions on our hats, shirts and koozies (to name a few) – it’s a great tradition we have, huh?

This recollection prompted me into concocting my forced moving day attire and now I am feeling the need to borrow my cousin D’s hat for my upcoming day of dread. I forgot about his lovely, beyond classy hat until I spotted it in a pic last night.

Captain D and CBXB, conveying our feelings through text on attire.

The cap reads, “Jesus loves you but everyone else thinks you are an asshole.”  I think that kind of sums up my bitter feelings at the moment – plus the white hat would really complement my blonde hair, yes?

I’m pretty sure I need D and his ‘tude with me on moving day.

And with a move on my horizon, my peeps have made sure to keep choices of hydration on hand. Plus, with a fridge like this, I will be able to lure ‘movers’ into helping with their free weekends, trucks and manpower (good thing most of my gal pals are married to nice, muscley dudes – did that sound like ass kissing? Is it working?).

Tough times call for booze filled fridges.

Between my hat, constant liver liquified state and my fabulous t-shirt that I may not take off for the next 45 days, I think my moving day attire will be appropriate.

I know Jesus loves me because the baseball hat says so.

But I will most definitely be guzzling Skinny Pirates moving day, out of my favorite koozie.

Message conveyed.

Do you think my landlord who’s kicking me out will get the hint of how I’m feeling about him?

CBXB