How My Pussy Handles Bad News

So, many of you know (because I won’t stop being a bawl baby and feel the need to post every other day about this matter – oh woe is me) my furry feline Ted and I have been asked to leave our little mini-manse due to the owner’s son needing my side for his expanding family. I took a minute to digest the news before passing the information along to an “I hate change more than anything in the history of the universe” cat.

When I first told Teddy we were relocating, he gave me his best cartoon eyes popping out of head routine.

WTF were you thinking? I KNOW.

WTF? WE’RE MOVING?!

Then he got all weepy…

Starting to bawl just like his mom taught him how

I think Mr. Bear thought if he gave me his sad face long enough it would change our situation.Β  No such luck.

Realizing his fake tears weren’t working, he ran for the nearest open space (that he has never, ever been interested in before).

Running for cover.

Running for cover.

While trying to coax TB out of his hiding space, he tried to escape his pain by delving deeper into the interior of my cabinets.

Maybe if I hide up in the cupboards, I will just drive the new tenants mad with meows.

Why can’t he just stuff his face when upset like the rest of us? DRAMA.

So after begging and pleading with him, he emerged from his hideout.

Beg me

Beg me and I will come.

Silly me, thinking this moving nonsense was water under the bridge, I turned my back for one second (CATS!) and Teddy had moved on to bigger and better out-of-reach places.

Master of Fridge Mountain.

Master of Fridge Mountain.

Sternly telling him to get down and take his eye balls off of my antique decanters, he suddenly lost the ability to hear.

Yep. He went there.

Yep. He went there.

What's up here?

Proving his point.

I reluctantly resisted the urge to scream “GET THE F DOWN” at the top of my lungs as he walked the top of my cabinets like a tightroping Vegas act.

Delicate maneuvers. I tried to resist the urge to yell at him to get the F down from my antique decanters...

Delicate maneuvers.

Slither attempt

Making my heart race with the little flicks of his tail. Bitch!

Reaching the end of his circus act, he realized there was nowhere to go, nowhere to hide so he turned around and gave me 30 more seconds of quiet terror as he sauntered back to his starting point.

Twisty

Exposed.

Then Mr. Bear got all dramatic and tried ramming his head through the kitchen wall.

Ram Rod.

Ram Rod.

Realizing this attempt at drama hurt him more than it did me, he just sat and burned two tiny holes into my soul with his gaze of hell.

Gaze of hell. I feel like he burned two tiny holes into my soul with this icy stare.

This pussy is pissed.

And then, he proceeded to cry, whine, bitch and moan for about a half an hour until I got up on a chair and replanted him to lower ground.

This upcoming weekend of moving is going to be such fun…I may single handedly drink the world dry of Captain Morgan.

Yes, please wish me luck.

CBXB

CBXB!

43 thoughts on “How My Pussy Handles Bad News

  1. Good luck to you and your pussy. You’re both crazy so it should be fun.

  2. Jolene says:

    Hahaha….loved this post!

  3. Awww…. so cute, you know you both deserve each other. lol

  4. Oh, the inappropriate pussy comments that are lurking in the back of my dirty mind… Girl, I know you’re doing this to me on purpose…LOL! Do you know how hard it is to write anything PG right now? There’s one thing I’m sure of…your pussy will be well cared for. 😑 (That’s as close to that line as I managed without crossing over.) But seriously, good luck on your relocation endeavors.

  5. LifeOfBun says:

    Aw that second picture with the squinty eyes and the stingy mouth, Mr Bear was like “Nop.”

    • I know. He really tried putting his paw down, which obviously didn’t work and has led to all kinds of pouting…I’m just hoping he leaves the carpet in my new place (I have hardwoods now) alone, so I don’t lose my deposit if I ever leave!

  6. oNanvbb says:

    Change is usually for best. You may have to remind me of this from time to . Teddy is male!!!!!! The move will go much better and safer without the captain! Just get’er done!

  7. Phil Lanoue says:

    Oh dear lord that was freakin’ hysterical! (Well, not for you I realize.)
    The photos and descriptions of Monsieur Bear in full FU mode were spot on and so truly typical of the attitude we cat servants are often subjected to.
    Isn’t their ability to suddenly go selectively deaf amazing?!

    • Oh, HOW do they ignore so well?! I could be screaming in his ear and he would look out the window at birds like he was a deaf mute. F! This post was fun to write AFTER the fact – I’m sure there will be many more like this one in my future weeks….!

  8. Cordelia says:

    Seriously… you are a captioning genius.

  9. Moving with a cat. I could tell you stories. Suffice it to say, crate him when the big event comes. Otherwise, you will be searching for him in the woods for hours when he make a run for it. It is really a bummer to lose your pussy, believe me I know. Then, just keep a case of El Capitan on hand and some ear plugs to help you cope with the cacophonous primal feline protest that is sure to ensue. Be strong now and don’t cry, because you are the CBXB!

  10. Crocs Are Awful says:

    Good luck on the move to both you and Teddy!!! x

  11. He’s not taking it well, is he!

  12. You poor kids! On the other hand, how funny to see your kitchen with a black fridge (I have one) cherry and red theme (me too) and animal print bowls in your cabinet (me too). To be serious. there are natural feline anti-anxiety drops you can get for Ted that should help with his life changes. (for real) If you want more info, let me know and I’ll send you the link to get them.

  13. Aaawww, adorable TB must be so stressed out. Goo luck with the move.

    • He’s stressed, excited and hyperventilating all at the same time! But the one good thing about cats in general is their curiosity – so he is ‘exploring’ all of the empty boxes and having fun, which makes me feel a little better!

  14. Awww poor Teddy!
    Lots of purrs

  15. stylentonic says:

    I just love Teddy!!! I am really into cat universe!! I have 3 gray beautiful cats!!!! πŸ˜‰ xxx

    • Oh you have 3 gray fur babies! You need to do a fashion shoot featuring how they compliment your outfit! And Teddy appreciates the love – his head grows a little bigger every time I write a post on him!

  16. kellisamson says:

    Good luck to you and Ted! Can’t wait to return in two weeks from my trip to see all your posts and how it all went. When I layover in Detroit tomorrow afternoon, I’ll tell Kid Rock hey for ya ;).

  17. vudragovich says:

    Of Course You Had To Get Him Down…Katz Can’t Climb Down Trees Either. Maybe It Was His Way Of Trying To Get You To Call The Fire department So YouCould Find Yourself A Hot HOttie? Looking Out For Mom’s Best Interest,What A Great Kat! Keep It Up Mr Ted!

  18. SerachShiro says:

    Love Teddy, such an intelligent sweet cat ! Hope he will accept and I’m sure you can handle him πŸ™‚

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