I started my weekend off on the wrong paw by showing Ted my friend Phil Lanoue’s handy work – as he put me on the cover of Vogue magazine (because he felt awfully sorry for yours truly, as my little fur ball is garnering all sorts of national attention (in our minds) with his appearances in Times Square and on Jumbotrons).
Who’s that girl?
Well, when I showed Ted my teeny, tiny amount of notoriety, he was pissed. And sulked all evening on a plastic grocery sack. Drama King.
I’m the center of this universe, dammit!
So while Ted pouted away, I thought it would be a good idea and make all kinds of friends at my new mini manse by becoming the resident Clark Griswold of my new neighborhood.
Fully loaded with lights.
Of course I couldn’t handle such a task all by my lonesome and my folks were happy to assist (well, really my mom and I started by assisting my dad but you get the point). The first order of business was figuring out how in the hell to load the staple gun. After about 28 minutes of confusion, my dad concluded you load the staples from the bottom (WTF?), instead of the traditional way of loading them on top.
How the hell…
Then my not so tiny dad hopped up on a step stoop that got wobblier by the second…I wasn’t sure if I would be able to catch him if a screw popped out.
As Dad was stapling the electric cords, he had a peanut gallery of one giving direction (and not being annoying. At all).
No, that’s not how you do it.
After about three seconds of me barking orders, we switched positions.
I got this…
Wait, this nail? Or that one? TELL ME!
Mom got the fortunate position of untangling the strings of lights.
Lucky light lady!
Fortunately no injuries were acquired while hanging the lights but I almost had my arm pulled out of my socket dismounting from the step stool.
Damsel in distress!
That’s OK, the shoulder can pop back into place with ease. Right?
While it wasn’t dark enough to enjoy the fruits of our labor just yet, we could tell this was going to be one fabulous party patio!
Hurry up darkness, we need to see our creation in all of its glory.
The Nashville light crew became ultra jealous at the picture of our little bebes in Iowa floating their cares away in a pool. I’m such a shitty host for forgetting to get my inflatable pool out. DUH.
Bathing beauties.
I tried to make up for the fact that my folks and I were sweating our asses off with no plastic pool to jump into by serving some chilly cocktails. Only when I went to serve them I hit a wall. A round, furry wall who wasn’t about to budge his pudgy ass off of the tray.
Cattail anyone?
Doing without the fancy red tray, I was able to soak in Skinny Pirates and the party atmosphere on my newly spruced up Griswold deck.
Clark would be proud, don’t you think?
This is only the beginning. Wait until I put the rest of my lights around my deck posts.
My neighbors are going to be in all kinds of love with me.
Have a fabulous week, my friends!
CBXB
Wow! Even with all my carpentry issues, I know staples go in the bottom…guess it is because my granddad (Pap-pap) was a carpenter. (I told you about me, genetics and lightening right?) Glad you did not staple a wire, your blonde hair would have been standing up on end!
And the red tray was because Teddy was feeling historic and wanted to honor his great great great great grand kitten parents. You were supposed to carry him around like the ancient Egyptians 😀 Serve him fresh fish and other kitty gifts
Aha! You are very clever when it comes to deciphering what the hell it is Teddy is thinking. Which must be why he is still lying on the damn red tray. I shall carry him around his mini manse in true Egyptian style tonight!
I think Teddy may be pushing his luck here…something about hieroglyphics in the kitchen? Kittens! Give them an inch they ask for the world! Maybe just a picture?
I love it…”give them an inch, they ask for the world…” SO TRUE. And so funny!
Great cover. I suprised you weren’t on it sooner. I’m certain they really had to woo you to be on their cover. I looked for my copy at the grocery store, but I couldn’t find it. It most certainly had been sold out!
Oh yes – I’m SURE it’s sold out! I will put a copy that I have aside for you. And I will get Mr. Bear to pawtograph it for you (so he feels better about not being on it).
Much appreciated. Mr Bear is such a publicity hound. Can he be called a hound?
By the way I noticed how the woman in the picture has a total “ah hah” look on her face as she is reading all of your secrets and tips in your article. Obviously satified in how she can learn to be more like you. Such a burden you bare. We little people are not worthy!
I mean seriously, I don’t know how I do it. But somebody has to give these models their ‘aha’ moments! And yes, you can call Mr. Bear a hound. He appreciates being called anything that associates him with fame. I’m not too sure how his head will fit through any doorway…
I’m thinking shoehorn for the Tedmeister.
Love the magazine?!!!
http://Www.fashionforlunch.wordpress.com
Ha thanks – My one and only cover!
Lovely cover. Congrats to you. 🙂
Thanks – fun to dream!
Can’t believe that even here in the Redneck Riviera that mag is sold out!
Must be *the* latest hot beach read. Poor Ted, has he quit sulking yet? He knows he is still the real star of the show right?!
And I think your party patio well be newest the go-to spot in your neighborhood!
Phil! I can’t believe how the one copy of the magazine flew off the dusty gas station shelf so quickly! My tens of followers are all pissed they couldn’t get their own copy – but that makes Ted so pleased, as there’s more of his photos to go around. Damn greedy pussy!
Those little kiddy pools would serve as a great cooler in lieu of a traditional one. Minus the babies, of course.
You’re my kinda gal, thinking like that.
Love the cover girl…made me smile!
Did I see a Captain in there, or did you abstain, surely not? 😉
Baz, you know me all too well. No abstaining from the Captain – the world might end if that happened!!
Awesome lights! I love how fun you are making the new manse!
Little by little I’m snazzing it up! 🙂
Loved the finished effect and I don’t like being my Dad’s apprentice either!
It’s hard work assisting dad! 🙂
Cattail please. Those two bathing beauties picture is adorable.
Ted and I will provide you with a cattail anytime. And pics of the bebes as we sip on our cattails for entertainment, of course.