Trashtacular 90th Birthday Shenanigans

Can you imagine turning the big nine-oh? I can’t either (really, I can’t imagine my liver lasting that long). But my family certainly turned up the class when we were celebrating behind the scenes at my Grandma’s 90th birthday shindig, starting off with her heart bursting in pride at my inability to wash off rub on tattoos I’d received at the Iowa State Fair the day prior.

Tough enough to celebrate 90?

Tough enough to celebrate 90?

Of course we threw Gma an appropriate celebration complete with cake, cookies, punch, old friends and best (depends on how you look at it) of all  – family.


Nonagenarian in her birthday glory!

All five sisters are still alive and kickin' it into their 90s.

Party girls! All five sisters are still alive and kickin’ it into their 90s.

Whenever the seven of us are now in the same state, my immediate fam always feels the needs to take a photo just in case we use it at holiday time.

Might be another Christmas card!

Smile! Might be the Christmas card this year…but it for sure won’t be because the babies aren’t looking into the camera. Plus, why do I have two dark holes as eyes?

During the four-hour throw down, a few of us cousins snuck off to Aunt Crispy’s house for a quick cocktail.

You pose

None of the 90-year-olds even noticed we went missing.

The celebrating really started when we spiked the punch and got out the elaborate appetizers at the after party.

Party food!

Nothing says fancy like Anderson Erickson French Onion Dip and party sized Ruffles!

We took turns primping in the new hand mirror my sister gifted me…

Fairest in the land?

Definitely not the fairest in the land.

I cheated on Captain for the first time ever (hurt so good) and used Lady Bligh for Skinny Pirates.


You can catch me on the next episode of Cheaters.

Friendly, loving sign language was exchanged as I “made” family members sign Gma’s guest book, accompanied by a favorite memory with her.

All smiles forcibly signing the guest book (even though it's her own son).

Tough times signing the book (even though it’s her own son).

With the addition of B and B, we were sure to keep the after-party baby friendly.

This twosome

Party animals taking notes from Auntie CBXB.

As we turned their binkies into new wine glass decor.

Binki wine charm

Binky booze charms will be all the rage. Mark my words.

We then felt the need to forgo glasses and just pass the bottle, in old-fashioned, celebratory, heathen-style family fun.

Who needs a glass?

Who needs a glass?

Once we threw the stemware out, we felt it appropriate to just use our hands to eat left over cake.

Stuff the cake

Don’t forget to lick under your fingernails.

And what family birthday party is complete without someone taking their shirt off and using it as a turban?

Turban Times

Uncle T’s head was cold. Really cold.

Taking one’s shirt off also means you can just let it all hang out…all over the kitchen table.

Gut Strut

Bonding time over the gut strut.

You may think that all of this white trash birthday behavior would be enough to make one go mad…


I don’t care about your gut Uncle T! This mirror won’t answer my question. AM I PRETTIER THAN SNOW F’ING WHITE?!

But I was still concerned with not being the fairest in all of the land.

I’m sure you’re wondering if my clan is available to attend your next family gathering. The answer is yes. But we do require chips, dip and booze. Lots of booze. Oh, and a piece of your square footage to lay our weary party heads when it’s all over.



44 thoughts on “Trashtacular 90th Birthday Shenanigans

  1. adinparadise says:

    OMG….What a party was that. 🙂

  2. Oh, you!

    By the way, I’m p.o’ed that your posts haven’t been showing up in my reader. Not that it’s your fault, but I”m wondering why…. (explains why I haven’t been commenting, huh?)

    • Blogs that I follow sometimes ‘slip’ out of my reader somehow. And sometimes they magically reappear, sometimes not. It is annoying. But I’m glad that you found your way back to me (and most likely the real reason, Ted!). 🙂

  3. elkeeb says:

    Hey is that an early Turbie Twist? Uncle T’s been robbed!!

  4. vudragovich says:

    Well, if you are going to cheat on your captain, at least it was with a lass he may want to meet! I can hear him saying “Arr! Good pirate wenches are so hard to find”.
    And do not ask Mr Teddy if you are prettier than Snow White…his reply would be “You have a Blog to show me off in all my worldly handsomeness, you are slipping cupcake!”
    I can just imagine the tone in his rawrol 😀
    Glad your family like low prep snacks, I cannot stand those “foods” that get cold and soggy and all.
    And duh! Of course you drink out of the bottle, it cuts down on having to wash so many red cups!
    Keep the posts coming and congrats to grandma!

    • Your comments always have me laughing my ass off (wish that was literal, so I didn’t have to work out so much)!

      Teddy is so uncooperative when it comes to giving me a compliment. He is such a little baby! You should have heard him this weekend when I was trying to decide what outfit I should wear downtown. He didn’t even blink in my direction…

      And I ‘married’ Captain and Lady Bligh at the bar. Well, at least they’re sitting side-by-side at the bar…

  5. SerachShiro says:

    What a great lovely family you have and I see how much important they are for you 🙂 Say ciao to B & B they are so cute :)!

  6. Jamie says:

    This reminds me of my family….never a dull moment!

  7. Wow, great post. Your G ma sisters rocking in their 90s year. F… awesome!!!!

  8. kellisamson says:

    You guys need your own tv show! Loved every bit of this!

  9. nancy says:

    Love all your beautiful and fun filled family!!!!!

Holla at me!

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s