Trashtacular 90th Birthday Shenanigans

Can you imagine turning the big nine-oh? I can’t either (really, I can’t imagine my liver lasting that long). But my family certainly turned up the class when we were celebrating behind the scenes at my Grandma’s 90th birthday shindig, starting off with her heart bursting in pride at my inability to wash off rub on tattoos I’d received at the Iowa State Fair the day prior.

Tough enough to celebrate 90?

Tough enough to celebrate 90?

Of course we threw Gma an appropriate celebration complete with cake, cookies, punch, old friends and best (depends on how you look at it) of allย  – family.


Nonagenarian in her birthday glory!

All five sisters are still alive and kickin' it into their 90s.

Party girls! All five sisters are still alive and kickin’ it into their 90s.

Whenever the seven of us are now in the same state, my immediate fam always feels the needs to take a photo just in case we use it at holiday time.

Might be another Christmas card!

Smile! Might be the Christmas card this year…but it for sure won’t be because the babies aren’t looking into the camera. Plus, why do I have two dark holes as eyes?

During the four-hour throw down, a few of us cousins snuck off to Aunt Crispy’s house for a quick cocktail.

You pose

None of the 90-year-olds even noticed we went missing.

The celebrating really started when we spiked the punch and got out the elaborate appetizers at the after party.

Party food!

Nothing says fancy like Anderson Erickson French Onion Dip and party sized Ruffles!

We took turns primping in the new hand mirror my sister gifted me…

Fairest in the land?

Definitely not the fairest in the land.

I cheated on Captain for the first time ever (hurt so good) and used Lady Bligh for Skinny Pirates.


You can catch me on the next episode of Cheaters.

Friendly, loving sign language was exchanged as I “made” family members sign Gma’s guest book, accompanied by a favorite memory with her.

All smiles forcibly signing the guest book (even though it's her own son).

Tough times signing the book (even though it’s her own son).

With the addition of B and B, we were sure to keep the after-party baby friendly.

This twosome

Party animals taking notes from Auntie CBXB.

As we turned their binkies into new wine glass decor.

Binki wine charm

Binky booze charms will be all the rage. Mark my words.

We then felt the need to forgo glasses and just pass the bottle, in old-fashioned, celebratory, heathen-style family fun.

Who needs a glass?

Who needs a glass?

Once we threw the stemware out, we felt it appropriate to just use our hands to eat left over cake.

Stuff the cake

Don’t forget to lick under your fingernails.

And what family birthday party is complete without someone taking their shirt off and using it as a turban?

Turban Times

Uncle T’s head was cold. Really cold.

Taking one’s shirt off also means you can just let it all hang out…all over the kitchen table.

Gut Strut

Bonding time over the gut strut.

You may think that all of this white trash birthday behavior would be enough to make one go mad…


I don’t care about your gut Uncle T! This mirror won’t answer my question. AM I PRETTIER THAN SNOW F’ING WHITE?!

But I was still concerned with not being the fairest in all of the land.

I’m sure you’re wondering if my clan is available to attend your next family gathering. The answer is yes. But we do require chips, dip and booze. Lots of booze. Oh, and a piece of your square footage to lay our weary party heads when it’s all over.



44 thoughts on “Trashtacular 90th Birthday Shenanigans

  1. filbio says:

    Now your family looks like fun to party with!

    It’s amazing that all five sisters are still alive and looking great into their 90’s! Happy birthday!

  2. Phil Lanoue says:

    Your entire family instantly qualifies for South Carolina citizenship.

  3. Looks like a lot of fun! By the way, your Gran does NOT look 90. Woot!

  4. Wow, 5 sisters all in their nineties! how many husbands have those ladies left behind? Or are they cat ladies like their lovely blog hostess?

    • Four husbands have left, one still standing – the resident husband to five sisters…sounds fun, huh? And, I seem to be the only one in the fam with the cray for cats…I think I’m enough for one family.

  5. Damn, those hotties look good for 90+. What’s their secret?

  6. MrJohnson says:

    I can’t wait for my 90th Testicular Birthday Party!

  7. LifeOfBun says:

    You look so bright and fabulous on all pictures.. ๐Ÿ˜€ and your family seems crazy enough to match you perfectly hahah! Love it!

  8. Ms B. BAD says:

    Your g-ma looks awesome for her age! And you make me lol with your temp tattoos! haha

  9. Does your Gma enjoy a cocktail? My MIL is still going strong at 97 and loves her vino! I’m her favorite because I always bring wine when I visit ๐Ÿ™‚ I would rather have Ruffles and French Onion Dip than a fancy app anytime! Looks like the fam is tons of fun!

    • Couldn’t agree with you more about in regard to the fancy app! Gma will say she doesn’t enjoy a cocktail but is ready to do a Jell-O shot or down a glass of wine when handed to her. Love that your MIL is still going strong at 97 – must have something to do with that wine drinking…!

  10. FreeUrCloset says:

    You have one fabulously fun family. Im lol’ing at the shirtless dude with the turban, the babies are so adorable, and grandma looks rocking in her 90th year.

    • Yes, the fam is quite the bunch. And we have a fun time! The shirtless dude with the turban is also the uncle who used to coach me into snorting Jell-O up my nose at his track meets when I was a kid – so you can see from the turban, his ‘fun’ button still works!

  11. nancy says:

    Love all your beautiful and fun filled family!!!!!

  12. kellisamson says:

    You guys need your own tv show! Loved every bit of this!

  13. Wow, great post. Your G ma sisters rocking in their 90s year. F… awesome!!!!

  14. Jamie says:

    This reminds me of my family….never a dull moment!

  15. SerachShiro says:

    What a great lovely family you have and I see how much important they are for you ๐Ÿ™‚ Say ciao to B & B they are so cute :)!

  16. vudragovich says:

    Well, if you are going to cheat on your captain, at least it was with a lass he may want to meet! I can hear him saying “Arr! Good pirate wenches are so hard to find”.
    And do not ask Mr Teddy if you are prettier than Snow White…his reply would be “You have a Blog to show me off in all my worldly handsomeness, you are slipping cupcake!”
    I can just imagine the tone in his rawrol ๐Ÿ˜€
    Glad your family like low prep snacks, I cannot stand those “foods” that get cold and soggy and all.
    And duh! Of course you drink out of the bottle, it cuts down on having to wash so many red cups!
    Keep the posts coming and congrats to grandma!

    • Your comments always have me laughing my ass off (wish that was literal, so I didn’t have to work out so much)!

      Teddy is so uncooperative when it comes to giving me a compliment. He is such a little baby! You should have heard him this weekend when I was trying to decide what outfit I should wear downtown. He didn’t even blink in my direction…

      And I ‘married’ Captain and Lady Bligh at the bar. Well, at least they’re sitting side-by-side at the bar…

  17. elkeeb says:

    Hey is that an early Turbie Twist? Uncle T’s been robbed!!

  18. Oh, you!

    By the way, I’m p.o’ed that your posts haven’t been showing up in my reader. Not that it’s your fault, but I”m wondering why…. (explains why I haven’t been commenting, huh?)

    • Blogs that I follow sometimes ‘slip’ out of my reader somehow. And sometimes they magically reappear, sometimes not. It is annoying. But I’m glad that you found your way back to me (and most likely the real reason, Ted!). ๐Ÿ™‚

  19. adinparadise says:

    OMG….What a party was that. ๐Ÿ™‚

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