How to Turn Your Dad Into Pamela Anderson

This post is a ghost from a Halloween past…but couldn’t resist sharing this season.

A few Halloweens ago I was dying to dress up as Kid Rock and needed a trashy Pamela Anderson to hang all over me. And when my boyfriend at the time refused and because my dad is no stranger to the spotlight (and always my hero) he leaped at the chance.

But how in the hell do you transform a 6’4″ man into a petite (OK, not happening), blonde, big busted bombshell?

You start feet first.

Heavy duty gloves for a heavy-duty job.Β  My dad has a green toenail (because he’s too cheap to buy the prescription to remedy) that I lovingly refer to as Foot Fungus (hence the gloves).

Carefully apply polish to the gigantic toes.

I’m hoping the heavy-duty gloves ward off Foot Fungus from jumping on my body.

Which are then topped off with an orange bow (to make those feet look a teeny tiny bit more feminine).

The bow helps….kinda.

A base for the famous face must be applied as the transformation continues (the application of foundation “hurt his face,” according to the cross dresser).

Pre-Pam obviously isn’t in tune with the “must suffer to be beautiful” saying.

Stuffing Pamela into her costume proved the most difficult task of all.

Even the largest bra found at Walmart had to have velcro extenders added in order to get the damn thing to clasp.

But by God, she ended up looking like a fabulous Baywatch knock-off.

Prettiest Man Pam ever. Right?

Pam’s famous rack was made by stuffing as much quilt batting as possible into nylons. I dyed a men’s tank top red (because I could not find a women’s XXXL) and applied masking tape to create the Lifeguard logo.Β  I scored the checkered shorts in the very big ladies section at Walmart (go figure), topping the man Pam off with a blonde wig. And that’s how you transform your studly father into a sex pot.

Now all Pamela needed was her handsome rock star flavor at the time, Kid Rock.

This union will totally last. A year.

With the complete transformation in place, Pam was (happily, excitedly, thrilled to be) the center of attention.Β  She tended to overshadow even the most glamorous celebrities at the party.

Where’s Marilyn?

And everyone was completely obsessed with Pam’s chest.

Just to give you an idea…

Hugh Hefner couldn't even believe his eyes.

Hugh Hefner couldn’t even believe his eyes.

Cher wa

Cher was beyond excited to rest her weary head on Pam’s gigantic chest.

Even a dude who knew that this Pam was was a dude couldn't help but motorboat.

Even a dude who knew that this Pam was a dude couldn’t help but motorboat.

Even though this real life odd couple went on to hit the skids, Kid and Pam were able to let bygones be bygones this particular Halloween.

Is my dad fun or what?

And while this may not be the Pamela Anderson of everyone’s dreams, she’s awfully pretty to me.

Pamela Anderson, the waaaaay later years version.

But then again, beauty is in the eye of the beholder.

Who’s gotta fun dad to dress up this Halloween?

CBXB

CBXB!

52 thoughts on “How to Turn Your Dad Into Pamela Anderson

  1. I think I’ve said this before, but “you’re poor dad…”

    Why was your boyfriend such a douche about having some Halloween fun? It’s only one of the best nights of the year!

  2. Your dad is a trooper, but this is all kinds of wrong. However, I will say those are some amazing boobs! Sorry, I meant your dad’s. πŸ˜‰

  3. adinparadise says:

    Your dad is such a sport! πŸ˜€

  4. FreeUrCloset says:

    Haha, Love this post — Dad to the rescue! Having a perfect mani/pedi must run in the family. Ahhhh those boobies, we think we’re in looove with Pam all over again. XOXO N&N

  5. Dude/dad Looks Like A Lady is running on repeat through my head right now….

  6. VivBlogs says:

    Seamless transformation!

  7. renxkyoko says:

    Oh, my gosh ! Your dad is so adorably shameless and so much fun ! LOL

  8. Molly says:

    Hahahah! Toooo good. My dad would NEVER. πŸ™‚

  9. An oldie but a goodie (the posting, NOT your papa!!!!!!)

  10. Who do I get in touch with to get you a Pulitzer Prize for this post? Cause that needs to happen ASAP.

    Bravo! and bravo again!

    Once more!

  11. MrJohnson says:

    hahaha.. so much fun your dad is. You should have been Tommy Lee so you could beat your dad.

  12. stylentonic says:

    hahaha You are unbelievable! Your dad is amazing! xxx

  13. breezyk says:

    omg this is hilarious! Well done!

  14. SerachShiro says:

    That they have such a large size for your dad, I can’t believe………..oh it’s all so hilarious and your lovely dad was also sexy πŸ™‚ !

  15. filbio says:

    This is so wrong but so funny!

  16. Nancy says:

    Not only fun, but cute, too!

  17. It sounds like a lot of fun! What a cool dad! Great blog! πŸ˜‰

    Feel free to visit my blog as well if you wish! ❀

    Diana
    http://www.ManhattanImageandStyle.com

  18. Mitzie Mee says:

    That’s a really scary Pam (and some really scary boobs!).:)

  19. […] behind on gift giving (I just like to streeeeetch a holiday out, OK?) I lovingly wrapped up Dad’s gift in my fave […]

  20. […] of my mini manse is home to my two shoe towers (and no, I still don’t have too many shoes Dad and yes folks, I do wear all of […]

  21. […] Counting on those who know you best, I hung in like a champ for my Iowa Hawkeyes football tailgates – and kept the family tradition of moonshine touchdown shots alive with Dada CBXB. […]

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