Weekend Winks – Sheetfaced Style

Boxed wine, football and a fur ball rounded out my Nashville weekend of fun.

Fangtastic Friday night compliments of wine trickling out of cardboard.

As I got my vino on, Ted became less and less impressed with being the remote control holder as I thought it grew more and more funny.

My mom can suck it.

Getting my ass out of bed for an early Saturday am hot yoga class (I can still seriously sleep ’til noon like an 11th grader in high school) proved how much I love my mediocre (this year) Iowa Hawkeyes. With an 11am kick off looming as I sweat like a pig, I just kept thinking about all of the tailgating goodies waiting for me.

My ass appropriately kicked in 103 heat.

My hard work was rewarded as soon as I stepped foot into my parent’s house. Mom was just setting out all of the spooky tailgating treats.

I work out, therefore I pig out.

My mom was anxious for me to try the dried beef cheeseball. She remembers having it at her grandma’s when she was a kid and I remember having it when I was at parties as a kid, which apparently means it was the first appetizer ever. In the history of the world.

First appetizer known to man.

I got the precious bottle of moonshine out, in hopes that we’d be able to keep our extremely classy family tradition of shots after Hawkeye scores alive.

Preppin’ the party punch.

And whatta ya know, our team scored on the opening drive.

Cheers!

But then the game got boring. So yawn worthy that my dad and I couldn’t rip our eyeballs away from our phones.

Football maniacs.

And my mom couldn’t keep her eyes open.

Moonshine makes your eyelids heavy.

Mom obviously loves a camera as much as I do.

But then, the game suddenly got exciting, dramatic and went into overtime. It was so exciting Dad had to get up and do a dance. Complete with jazz hands.

OT BABY!

And as the Hawks scored for a game winning touchdown, we were happy to do another moonshine shot. And then another because our team won. Don’t you like our reasoning?

Shots make victories taste better.

After keeping my shine glistening all day, I hunkered down on the couch with my favorite fur ball and watched scary shows in my heavily Halloween decorated mini manse.

Headless Halloween fun.

Teddy Kruger got so scared that he ran for cover in his Juicy Couture Pussy Palace.

Sleeping through the scary.

After so much horror gore, Mr. Bear couldn’t get out of bed on Sunday so he lolligagged for most of the daylight hours. Which is OK because I need him bright-eyed and bushy-tailed for our upcoming Halloween shenanigans this week…

Lazy Bear

I mustered up my own energy and made a version of gumbo. I don’t know what’s come over me (as I typically like to pour my supper from a box into a bowl and douse it with milk) but it turned out pretty damn good (if you like bland, Midwestern, not-at-all-spicy food).

No mumbo jumbo in my gumbo.

As the weekend wound down, I found myself terrified after realizing I’m 27 days late on a homework assignment from the big guy who wears a red suit.

I’m already on the naughty list. Surprised?

Hopefully I’ll be forgiven as Halloween is like Christmas to me. Think that will count?

Happy Haunting this week!

CBXB