I’m knee-deep in a shit show today folks.
You see, I’ve been all wrapped up in Halloween shenanigans and my gal pal Amanda just called my attention to one of the biggest holidays of the year. It’s National Cat Day.
I cannot believe I didn’t know about it (and I’m sure my eyes will be clawed out immediately upon my arrival home from work today) as I’m a raging lunatic over my cat Ted. He’s the yin to my yang. The side to my kick. The “me” to my “ow”. And frankly today, I’m fucked.
So in a dire attempt to make my pussy a little less unhinged at my failure as a cat mom, may I present you with an ode to the best bear on the planet…
Oh Ted you bring so much joy and good cheer,
Even when your piercing looks could kill.
Always a sport when I dress you up,
You never lose your cool when the costume F’s up.
Cinco de Teddy was our highlight this year and
while I was sure we had matching sombreros,
I’m pretty sure you were trying to figure out
how to pierce my heart with an arrow.
Bunny ears aren’t your favorite as you made very clear,
So I made you a pirate, in which (I kinda think) you revered.
Today is your day and in honor of you,
I will break out my finest kit cat attire.
And I’ll be sure to slip your favorite tie on-
before you try to murder me by hire.
The night will be yours to do as you please.
Whether it includes Skinny Pirates, shots of Jell-O,
or your favorite vino to help you chill and be mellow.
Celebrate you we will with all kinds of fun,
As my Earth tends to revolve around your sun.
And I’m begging you to believe me when I say,
I will never, ever again forget this day.
Happy Teddy Bear Day to all of our feline furiends!