No plans for thee on All Hallows’ Eve?
Might I entice you to my monstrous mini-manse of horrors for a little hair-raising Halloween celebrating?
Upon arriving to my haunted house, you will be greeted by a semi-scary wreath (you can’t live below the Mason Dixon line without a wreath hanging on your door. I’m serious. It’s like a law down here).
A skull bust and candles will acknowledge your arrival as you step into the entryway.
A Ghostess with the Mostess (you know, yours truly) will be your petrifying party guide for the nightmarish heyday.
A party at my palace wouldn’t be complete without a ghoulishly gussied up Glamingo (compliments of my friend G).
Turning into the cocktail lounge area, we’ll kick the eerie evening off with a mysterious martini after you select your glass from which you’ll be guzzling.
As we pass by the buffet, selections of spine-chilling snacks will be stacked in the jack-o-lantern for your ghostly delight.
Wicked wine is amassed in the corner bar if a mysterious martini isn’t for you (although you can have both. In fact, I encourage it).
We’ll then stock the bar cart with our favorite spellbinding spirits to wheel us through the rest of our twilight.
Gory goodies reside in the lobodomized skulls (which will come in handy as the witching hour grows near).
Turning into the kitchen a ghastly ghost of a lazy susan will welcome your entrance.
You’ll get the chills when you walk by my under used oven, which has not often felt the heat of its own fire.
Glitter flaunts itself in the form of a beastly BOO atop my kitchen cabinet.
While eyeballs behind the glass will be watching your every move.
If you try any terrifying tricks, you may meet the Grim Reaper. Or maybe end up oozing out of the freezer.
A devilish crew will be there as you step into the bloodcurling bathroom.
Skeletons costumed as witches will leer from their ledges.
And my little furry warlock will howl when it’s time for a refill.
As midnight draws near, we’ll make our way into my living room full of fear. (Disco balls and guitars are so damned terrifying, right?)
Otherworldly orange hues will illuminate from the tower of the piano.
And shadowy skulls will eye you from the coffee table.
A petrifyingly polite Johnny Cash will escort you to your seat.
Try not to be startled as this skull flickers red from within…
Or when cat eyes glow your way as you settle in.
Candles will be lit before the lights draw dim…
To prepare you for the movie madness about to begin.
No spells or potions can keep you away and being a no-show tomorrow is not a smart play.
See you around dusk then?
If not, heads will roll….