How to Make an Ass of Yourself Dressing a Kid

Kids are so effortless, even crazy aunts could be parents.

In this corner...

Yep. Even crazy Auntie CBXB could raise spawn.

And because everything about child rearing is beyond easy, I always lend a hand (and my expertise) when visiting my twin niece and nephew in Iowa.

Now as a case in point, I am going to reveal my ten step process on how to put pants on an adorable kid.

Auntie CBXB’s Expert Way of Dressing a Kid

*Starring adorable nephew, B*

Disruption...

Step one: Disrupt playtime to put pants on kid.

one

Step two: Wrestle kid to the ground.

two

Step three: Roll back over as they try to escape.

three

Step four: Incite tears.

four

Step five: Ignore tears.

five

Step six: Try to stuff one sausage leg into pant hole at a time.

siz

Step seven: Ignore cries that have now turned into tantrum like howls.

seven

Step eight: Laugh in kid’s face.

eight

Step nine: Forget to pull pants up kid’s ass.

nine

Step ten: Congratulate yourself on what you think is a job well done.

Think I nailed it?

Think my nephew kicked it the rest of the afternoon in his cozy little gray sweatpants?

Two for one....

Pants fail.

See how easy my ten step pants process can be?

Just as easy as having kids.

CBXB

CBXB!

44 thoughts on “How to Make an Ass of Yourself Dressing a Kid

  1. Nice work there in your worker bee top. Dressing the kids is still one of my least favorite parts of parenting. I never know which of the boys clothes belong to which or where the hell to find the socks, etc. Don’t even get me started on pants with all those buttons. Sweatpants are the way to go.

  2. Couldn’t be simpler! πŸ™‚

  3. You’ll get a job as one of the “Wiggles” dresses like that…. πŸ˜‰

  4. markbialczak says:

    It’s kind of like wrangling a steer at the rodeo, only you don’t have to get the steer to stick his beef legs into the hole of sweat pants after you get him corraled. Good job, CBXB!

  5. FreeUrCloset says:

    LMAO ! Marvelous job! Teddy’s trained you well πŸ˜‰ … Now you know first hand why moms drink a lot of wine. XOXO

  6. SerachShiro says:

    You are great doing this if you’ve always have done it, compliments and the twins are bellissimi, (I think they helped you, just a little or not ) ?

  7. John says:

    Yeah you nailed it down good, soooo glad these years are behind us. πŸ™‚

  8. Phil Lanoue says:

    Sounds approximately like the same process will be needed to get Ted into his Christmas outfit.

  9. Aussa Lorens says:

    Haha! Oh how I feel this! I’m an aunt as well, though I diligently avoid diaper duty. I stayed with a friend for the first month after she had her baby and handled the late night bottles and diaper changes because I already had insomnia but for the life of me I do not understand why anyone would design baby clothes with button snaps all the way up the interior of the leg? I mean, I’m going for a 50% success rate right off the bat with those.

  10. I’m not the doting grandmother everyone thinks I am! Ha! I try to avoid child care as much as possible!! My grandchildren come over a lot but their parents are with them!! I think you did a great job, hey they weren’t crying at the end! All you need is a pocket full of candy and they will do anything you say!

  11. Was it harder getting him in pants or Teddy in his Halloween costume?

  12. Kaufman's Kavalkade says:

    Blog of the Year ambush nomination!

    Muahahahhaha. #Runsaway.

    http://andykaufmanskavalkadekrew.wordpress.com/2013/12/03/blog-of-the-year-2-star-review/ β€Ž

    The rootinest tootinest (especially after Thankgiving!) Cowboy east of the Mississippi.

  13. I’m SO gonna do that to my kids. They’re gonna adore me for this.

  14. Ms B. BAD says:

    LMAO. No words just laughs.

  15. Kaufman's Kavalkade says:

    I try to run around pantsless myself whenever possible.

    So I’m totally with your nephew.

    And you have to catch me to make me put my pants on also!

  16. The Regular Guy NYC says:

    I bet you are the coolest Aunt!

  17. rubyangel711 says:

    OMG, hilarious! Loved the tip about disrupting their playtime to change them. Classic! They are adorbz!!!!

  18. Haha, adorable! You’ll be the cool auntie that they’ll want to go out drinking with πŸ™‚

  19. “Ignore cries”, why girl you are a natural. You ought to be popping out a dozen of your own!

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