Weekend Winks – Santa Style

Santa! I’ve been good! At least to myself…

What would Christmas be without a workplace dirty Santa party, last-minute shopping and sitting on a red suited man’s lap? I’ll answer for you – it would be beyond boring.

I arrived to work on Friday, greeted by slightly adjusted decorations in my office…

You wanna F with me? Paybacks are a bitch.

Do you have fun like this in your workplace? Too bad.

Our work version of Santa and his two elves.

Some people take the title of Dirty Santa to heart.

Dirty Santa = Dirty Minds.

Funny things happen at work parties. Like 8×10 photos of yourself becoming part of the decor.

Fully clothed in a bathtub, naturally.

While I slept off Friday night shenanigans, my twin niece and nephew were frolicking resting in the Iowa snow.  I’d like to call attention to yet another way my overly classy family uses plastic grocery sacks (we already utilize them as Easter baskets and I use them for Ted’s litter pan and Mr. Bear likes to use them as a bed) but please take a closer look at my niece’s feet. No snow boots? If you have a plastic bag, no problemo.

Reduce. Reuse. Recycle.

After sucking down enough caffeine for all of Santa’s elves, I hopped in my sleigh and headed to the poshest Nashville mall, where I had just enough luck to have sore shoulders from lugging all of the packages around. How does Santa do it?

Needed: Eight reindeer for package purposes.

What better way to celebrate shopping and First Mate’s birthday than with a strawberry martini?

I’d better rest my weary shopping legs….for three hours.

And as we sat and chit chatted the afternoon away, we came up with the scheme of the season.

Blondes have good ideas, too.

We thought it’d be a good idea to snuggle up to (I tried not to maul) our favorite man in red and solidify our names on his nice list with our girlie ways (I really needed to after my naughty shenanigans of weekends past).

Think Santa fell for us?

It’s been a year of babymania (there must be something in the water – thank God I drink liquor all the time) and I stopped by the hospital to welcome the newest handsome fella to my circle of friends’ ever expanding brood.

Big E with Auntie CBXB.

Famished after all that baby holding I headed to my folks house where we had an early Christmas celebration, as I won’t be joining my fam in Iowa for the big holiday.

Oh the snacking is so delightful…

And because the snacks weren’t enough, I had to stuff my face at dinner as well (thus trying to keep my annual holiday tradition of adding 10 lbs to my already ample derriere alive).

…and the added pounds are always so frightful.

Turns out I was rewarded for all of my bawdy behavior this year (Santa must have a fun sense of humor).

Naughty girls can finish first.

What’s Ted thinking about all of this endless Christmas celebrating? He can barely be bothered, wanting to sleep the rest of the holiday away.

What a little scrooge!

Whatever this holiday week brings you, we hope it’s full of happiness!

Cheers!

CBXB