Prisoner of Love

It seems like just a few short years ago, I welcomed the furball love of my life Teddy Bear into my mini manse.

After the first feline object of my affection, Nicodeamus passed away (and I truly thought I would die of a broken heart), I laid eyes on Ted via the Nashville Cat Rescue’s website.  He’d been saved from a one bedroom apartment full of 30 cats (I thought I was a hoarder) and when I went to take a look at that sweet little face, it was love at first meow.

Me and my garfield

Instantly wrapped around his paw.

Upon bringing TB home, I had a partially screened in porch.  My new little prince had such a sweet, timid demeanor I allowed him to relax on the porch alone, taking in his new surroundings.

Soaking up the sun

Soaking up the sun.

After a few months, Tedstar suddenly came out of his meek shell, morphing into a tiny lion, deciding that he was King of the Jungle Porch. One evening while I was letting Calgon take me away in a bubble bath, His Royal Highness ‘presented’ me with a beautiful, live cardinal fidgeting around in his mouth.

Feathers flew.

Feathers flew.

I screamed bloody murder at the horror of seeing a blinking bird in the jaws of my supposedly shy Teddy Bear. Then I thought my poor cat’s muzzle was going to break because his mouth was open so wide. And finally I stood there naked, sopping wet with trauma tears streaking down my face when he wouldn’t let the cardinal go until a towel was thrown over his head. (For those of you holding your breath or shedding a tear over the bird, it lived). A very relaxing, spa-like evening indeed.

Once Ted had a whiff of wildness, he got very daring after The Great Bird Incident.  One afternoon Bear attempted to escape the awful prison I keep him in by leaping off the porch to a nearby bush (about four feet away) which turned out like this:

Body outline

Body outline of my ferocious feline.

He’d climbed to the porch railing and apparently thought the bush was sturdy enough to hold him (Teddy sometimes has blonde moments like his mother) but alas he sunk all the way down to the bottom.  It was super fun trying to get a hysterical cat out of the tangle of limbs.

After his failed prison break, the porch was promptly screened to the ceiling, preventing my blue blooded attack cat from parting ways with yours truly (he obviously loved his new home).


My detainee’s private jail cell.

Of course Tedstar continually looked for a way out but much to his dismay, I locked that shit down like Fort Knox.

Don't jump

Does curiosity kill?

Presently in my new mini-catsle, I’m the evil queen happy to keep my royal subject Ted preserved behind second balcony porch bars, knowing that I won’t have any unwelcome gifts or a clumsy cat stuck in a bush.

Still trying to leave me.  Good thing his fur isn’t as long as Rapunzel’s hair.

After all of the failed attempts to pounce out of my second story prison Teddy still thinks there might be a chance to break free, walking on the backs of chairs like he’s a high wire act in the circus.

How can I pounce out?

All prepped up with nowhere to go.

Being the bitchy queen that I am, my favorite thing to shout at him as he tries to tip toe his way onto the railing is, “I’ll get you my pretty.”
(Insert wicked queen laugh here)

Like it’s that rough being a prisoner of love…

Ungrateful Bear!



55 thoughts on “Prisoner of Love

  1. Prisoner of love…is that similar to marriage?? Lol. I love the outline of goofy in the bush. Blonde moment indeed. He’s lucky to have you though, even if you are crazy.

    • I assume me holding Teddy captive is a lot like marriage! The outline pic of his body is one of my all time favorite photos. It makes me laugh every time I look at it. And he went from rags to riches when my crazy ass brought him home – whether he wants to acknowledge it or not!

  2. John says:

    Great pics! Love his outline in the bush LOL!! So cool you took him out of that hell hole he was in.

    • Yeah, the bush photo is priceless. I just kept thinking it looked like a scene from an animal version of CSI! It really feels good to rescue and provide a second chance to an otherwise discarded animal. I think most of the times our animals rescue us. 🙂

  3. I can’t imagine Tedstar with any mommy but you! Perfect. The bush outline pic is priceless tho.

  4. Teddy is on a path to matching Marmaduke’s shenanigans.

  5. rynolexson says:

    Teddy sounds like my kinda guy, adventurous, adorable and just enough fur to make him manly. Don’t let that little jail bird escape, he is definitely a keeper!

  6. markbialczak says:

    I can see mischief in Ted’s eyes. I can see mischief in your eyes. Why did you not show us the photo of the bush with the CBXC CSI outline on it after you decided, my, Ted, that looked like fun, and took the leap for yourself? You two are made for each other, my friend. Although you prefer the Hawkeyes to the Cardinals.

  7. If his fur = rapunzel’s hair you could save a bunch in botox (not that you need it – so not an assumption!!!!) in the same thread as Tangled (ugh, when will I stop quoting children’s movies?!?!?).
    Anyway…Ted E. Bear is just testing you to ensure absolute attention is directed his way – you really have got to hand it to him….
    Happy Weekend!!!!!

  8. Paula says:

    Did you adopt the other kitty????

  9. MrJohnson says:

    You have that first photo framed and on display somewhere in your home, don’t you? It’s such a great photo!

  10. FreeUrCloset says:

    I agree with the comment above ^ – love that first picture! I don’t think Ted would roam too far..he knows he has such a fabulous mama 😉

  11. Susie says:

    Teddy is even more bad ass than I thought!!

  12. Aussa Lorens says:

    Aw! I didn’t know he was a rescue cat. 30 in one room? That is just horrible 😦 I love that he has risen up from the ash and become an entitled little lord, patrolling the grounds, devouring trespassers.

  13. Not at all surprised that Ted has an adventurous streak. It just means he’s a lot more like his momma than initially believed.

  14. SerachShiro says:

    RapunzelTed was a little hungry or it was just for play, look out because he seems a little blond but he isn’t, he’s smart little devil and once he will escape from Ford Knox ! Great the bush outline photo 🙂 !

  15. He’s a handsome devil for sure – I think he regards you as his handmaiden.

  16. The Regular Guy NYC says:

    So cool that he is a rescue pet too! Such great organizations.

  17. I like the Tedster more all the time. I say let him fulfill his destiny and hunt those wily dicky birds! How can you deny this mini-lion?

  18. The first picture is adorable. I never get to take good pictures with my kitties. Teddy is a pro!

  19. […] only does his high maintenance ass require $60 green pea and duck prescription food due to a stomach issue, he now refuses to clean […]

  20. […] Realizing that my efforts were going to go down in flames, I trudged back inside to tell my pussies the bad news.  Teddy took it about as well as when he jumped in a bush like Garfield. […]

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