How to Get Down a Girl’s Pants

Getting to second and third base with a lady is an easy feat….if you’re a camera dude.

Rough, rough job. But somebody's got to mic me.

Rough, rough job. But somebody’s got to mic me.

While filming a sizzle reel for a potential reality TV show a few weeks ago, I got immediately intimate with the camera guy on day one. I think our initial meeting went something like this:

“Hi, I’m Ian. I need to put this mic down your shirt.”

Never one to be shy, I responded with, “Bring it.”

So if you find yourself timid with lackluster skills around the ladies, allow me to suggest a career move to the film industry.

Do this...

No game required to be this guy and still score with ladies.

Being a camera dude (the correct term for this job is Director of Photography but that doesn’t have as good of a ring to it, ya dig?), not only do you get to put your creative thinking cap on, hiding mics in weirdo places like tiny disco balls (yes, only in my mini manse would this problem arise)…

NOt only do you need to put your thinking cap on...and get creative in where to hide mics,

Microphone hider extraordinaire.

…you also get to touch ladies from the tip tops of their heads…

Tip top of her head...

Can you please not palm me?

…down lovely their backsides…

You get to get down a gal's backside.

Even married ladies let you go in for the kill.

…and up the other.

And some frontal action

As you can see, Ian loathes his line of work.

While he was nothing but professional, I couldn’t help but blow Ian shit whenever he was carrying a mic pack toward me.

You want to what, where?

You want to do what to me where?

I gotta feeling you don't hate your job.

This kind of touching usually requires at least $800 worth of liquor, you lucky devil you.

He had no shame.

You dropped the tiny mic down my shirt? *Awkward*

By the end of filming I was all kinds of professionally appropriate and barely noticed when Ian had his hand down my shirt.



As you can see, I hated every second.



72 thoughts on “How to Get Down a Girl’s Pants

  1. John says:

    Heh – u is bad gurl… πŸ˜‰

  2. Phil Lanoue says:

    Couldn’t be what got me started in photography. Nah, couldn’t be.

  3. aliciabenton says:

    Um. excuse me… What kind of reality show?! Are you going to be [more] famous?!!

  4. markbialczak says:

    This post reinforces a thought that pops into my head every CBXB post, my friend. You are a handful.

  5. $800
    Worth of Whooch?! Holy Toledo that’s a lot of cocktails!
    So the obvious question is did Ian call to set up dinner now that those pesky bases have been taken care of! 😜

    • NO! I think I might have scared him off by my lack of being uncomfortable. And, $800 might be a tad high but I’m so much more fun tipsy – and being that my liver is conditioned, it takes a lot of booze to make me tipsy…

  6. Your are totes gorgeous. Fingers crossed and then I’ll know a real REAL. Begging for a guest spot, that’s me!!!!

  7. The Regular Guy NYC says:

    I sure wish I was that guy! Except my hands might slip a bit with you. πŸ˜‰

  8. Damn, that’s way too much cash to get down a woman’s shirt! Wait, how much are drinks at Dalton’s during happy hour?? Lol. You are a handful as somebody suggested. I hope this works out. It’d instantly be my third favorite show!

  9. rebecca2000 says:

    You hated it. You’re so beautiful and fun too. I think you’d do great on a reality show. πŸ™‚

  10. Reblogged this on By the Mighty Mumford and commented:

  11. Where can I find this kind of job?!? Sadly, if I were a camerman, I’d end up with a show where I had to wire up a sweaty Michael Moore instead, haha.

    Excellent post! This is why you’re one of my absolute favorite blogs!

  12. Hey naughty girl, that last picture looks like he is about touch your radio button :). Btw, you look stunning on these pics.

  13. Hey naughty girl, that last picture looks like he is about touch your radio button :). Btw, you look stunning on these pics.

  14. JMC813 says:

    You know? It really is a shame that you dislike attention so immensely. If you weren’t so shy you might be perfect for your own reality show. LMAO. Love it. Lucky camera dude. Director of photography? Naaahhh camera dude.

    • If you were present, you might not be thinking ‘lucky camera dude’ as his ears were most likely bleeding from the incessant talking I did the entire time. That’s what timid, shy folks like me do. Talk to hear their own voice, cheese it up whenever they see a camera and make sure polite, professional camera dudes feel as awkward as possible. Aren’t I so sweet?!

  15. elkee says:

    Megan you bad girl! These types of shenanigans make this blog way too addictive. I’m on the internet enough as it is geez!

  16. Mitzie Mee says:

    I am so looking forward to hear more about this!

  17. SerachShiro says:

    Yes you hated every second I really believe you….hihihi, great pictures and I love your acting clothes ! Ian is a lovely guy πŸ™‚ !

  18. mollytopia says:

    Hahahaha – I love it! Sounds like Ian had a good week : )

  19. Aussa Lorens says:

    Haha! He’s adorable. How is all of that going?! Have you seen the final cut???

  20. curvyroads says:

    I can’t WAIT to see your show…it’s going to happen, you just wait! πŸ™‚

  21. […] isn’t quite so little anymore. Β ~ Sourceror Blog. @CowboysXBones ~ More exciting news. Cowboys has a reality show in production. Β And a cool cat named Teddy, who is running for President in 2016! Β #Teddy4Pres […]

  22. […] Β Of several webisodes. Β And so is her cat, Teddy! Β And she is in a lesser known production of Nashville Housewives or something like that, I forget. Β And don’t piss off her Daddy, @big1benny either. […]

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