Getting to second and third base with a lady is an easy feat….if you’re a camera dude.
Rough, rough job. But somebody’s got to mic me.
While filming a sizzle reel for a potential reality TV show a few weeks ago, I got immediately intimate with the camera guy on day one. I think our initial meeting went something like this:
“Hi, I’m Ian. I need to put this mic down your shirt.”
Never one to be shy, I responded with, “Bring it.”
So if you find yourself timid with lackluster skills around the ladies, allow me to suggest a career move to the film industry.
No game required to be this guy and still score with ladies.
Being a camera dude (the correct term for this job is Director of Photography but that doesn’t have as good of a ring to it, ya dig?), not only do you get to put your creative thinking cap on, hiding mics in weirdo places like tiny disco balls (yes, only in my mini manse would this problem arise)…
Microphone hider extraordinaire.
…you also get to touch ladies from the tip tops of their heads…
Can you please not palm me?
…down lovely their backsides…
Even married ladies let you go in for the kill.
…and up the other.
As you can see, Ian loathes his line of work.
While he was nothing but professional, I couldn’t help but blow Ian shit whenever he was carrying a mic pack toward me.
You want to do what to me where?
This kind of touching usually requires at least $800 worth of liquor, you lucky devil you.
You dropped the tiny mic down my shirt? *Awkward*
By the end of filming I was all kinds of professionally appropriate and barely noticed when Ian had his hand down my shirt.
Hey-Oh!
As you can see, I hated every second.
CBXB
Heh – u is bad gurl… 😉
What can I say? Being too good is boring…
Yeah, I could elaborate on that but not in this space…
HAHA! 🙂
Couldn’t be what got me started in photography. Nah, couldn’t be.
HAHA! I thought of you while composing this post, wondering what exactly got you into your line of work….
When my original plan of being a tennis pro and teaching it to college girls and hot (of course in my mind they are always hot) young moms began to unravel I had to fall back on something.
And there were the (always hot) young moms just waiting to be photographed in the stands of sporting events!
Um. excuse me… What kind of reality show?! Are you going to be [more] famous?!!
Well, I like to refer to it as almost famous, as the probabilities of anything coming from it are slim. But, a producer reached out after reading my blog, came to Nashville one January weekend to film some footage and so we’ll see! 🙂
Shut. Up!
That’s amazing!
And it makes me feel better knowing I’m not the only one who lives vicariously through your every move!
It’s been an amazingly fun experience, that’s for sure. And whether or not something comes of it, I’ll always have my sizzle reel to look back on! If you are living vicariously through me, do you feel my liver get dehydrated by the end of the day? 🙂
Um, yes! But I must admit… It feels soooooo good!! 😉
Well that’s fabulous. I will keep up the good work (much to my liver’s dismay)!
This post reinforces a thought that pops into my head every CBXB post, my friend. You are a handful.
I will take that as a compliment, Mark! 🙂
Of course!
🙂
I mean you are always spirited and not afraid of doing it your way, and that sure is a compliment!
Oh, I would take it as a compliment even if you didn’t mean it as one! I have that knack of thinking everything said about moi is absolutely positive. Hee hee. And being described as a handful in my book ranks right up there for me!
$800
Worth of Whooch?! Holy Toledo that’s a lot of cocktails!
So the obvious question is did Ian call to set up dinner now that those pesky bases have been taken care of! 😜
NO! I think I might have scared him off by my lack of being uncomfortable. And, $800 might be a tad high but I’m so much more fun tipsy – and being that my liver is conditioned, it takes a lot of booze to make me tipsy…
Your are totes gorgeous. Fingers crossed and then I’ll know a real REAL. Begging for a guest spot, that’s me!!!!
Regardless of my TV outcome, you always have a guest spot in my reality!
I sure wish I was that guy! Except my hands might slip a bit with you. 😉
Oh, so you’d be a handsy camera dude?! Hired!
I have $801!
SOLD! C’mon.
Damn, that’s way too much cash to get down a woman’s shirt! Wait, how much are drinks at Dalton’s during happy hour?? Lol. You are a handful as somebody suggested. I hope this works out. It’d instantly be my third favorite show!
You’re a cheapskate, Don. Either that or it takes way too much booze to get me tipsy, which is when I get really fun…! And I demand to be in your top two fave TV shows if this works out. I am happy to bribe you with cases of BLL.
Can we combine Blues hockey and Cardinal baseball into 1 “St. Louis sports” show? If yes, then you’re number 2!!
Yes! All sports equal one TV show. Score one for me!
And being within 100 yards of you while you’re drunk is now on my bucket list!
I will be sure to get you a check mark next to that bucket list item!
You hated it. You’re so beautiful and fun too. I think you’d do great on a reality show. 🙂
Oh Rebecca, you’re so sweet. Thank you! I loathed every. single. second. of it. Badly. So badly I hope that if my show gets picked up, Ian is my camera dude…
what kind of show is this… I think I hear bow chicka wow wow playing on your blog. 😉
You heard that right! Hee hee. It’s based around my life in Nashville (shenanigans galore, of course) and reminding folks how to have fun again. Oh then then there’s Ted my cat, of course. What show would be complete without a side kick?!
Reblogged this on By the Mighty Mumford and commented:
YOU KNEW THERE WAS A PLAY ON WORDS SOMEWHERE THERE!!!!
Where can I find this kind of job?!? Sadly, if I were a camerman, I’d end up with a show where I had to wire up a sweaty Michael Moore instead, haha.
Excellent post! This is why you’re one of my absolute favorite blogs!
You know, I wasn’t thinking about all of the camera dudes (and dudettes) that get the pleasure of wiring up sweaty Michael Moores…hmm. Might I suggest you apply at Bravo TV and hope that you get enlisted to film a Real Housewives show?! I will cross my fingers for you.
And thank you so much for the kind words! You absolutely just made my month!
That’s a great idea!
And my pleasure! You have one of the most engaging blogs on here, I appreciate your sense of humor and originality!
You keep me posted on how that Bravo business goes! 🙂
I’m still riding high on your compliments!
I will! And it’s my pleasure- they’re much deserved!
Hey naughty girl, that last picture looks like he is about touch your radio button :). Btw, you look stunning on these pics.
Thanks Girl! I think the combo of leopard, fuchsia lipstick and sunshine will make any gal sparkle. And he was totally going in for a radio button touch. So your observation was spot on, my dear.
Hey naughty girl, that last picture looks like he is about touch your radio button :). Btw, you look stunning on these pics.
You know? It really is a shame that you dislike attention so immensely. If you weren’t so shy you might be perfect for your own reality show. LMAO. Love it. Lucky camera dude. Director of photography? Naaahhh camera dude.
If you were present, you might not be thinking ‘lucky camera dude’ as his ears were most likely bleeding from the incessant talking I did the entire time. That’s what timid, shy folks like me do. Talk to hear their own voice, cheese it up whenever they see a camera and make sure polite, professional camera dudes feel as awkward as possible. Aren’t I so sweet?!
It’s okay. I like the sound of my voice too. It is almost always saying the MOST important things too. Just too important for the people trying not to hear me to understand. LOL.
HAHA! If we ever hung out, we’d be competing with one another for ‘hearing our own voice’ time.
Megan you bad girl! These types of shenanigans make this blog way too addictive. I’m on the internet enough as it is geez!
I just can’t help myself! You couldn’t expect any less from a fellow gal who mixes cocktails in a bar bathroom now could you?! 🙂
Not at all!
Ian’s cute.
He’s cute and beyond professional, which is why I couldn’t help myself from trying to bust his balls. I’m pretty sure he couldn’t wait to get the hell out of Nashville!
I am so looking forward to hear more about this!
Thank you MM! It’s a long shot but the experience so far has been fun and entertaining, which is all I can really ask. Will keep you posted!
Yes you hated every second I really believe you….hihihi, great pictures and I love your acting clothes ! Ian is a lovely guy 🙂 !
Ian was really sweet and professional. I acted like a high school idiot (but had fun doing so!). That leopard jacket is one of my favorite pieces I own. I just can’t wear it enough!
Hahahaha – I love it! Sounds like Ian had a good week : )
I like to think I made his experience in Nashville all that it could be!
lucky camera dude!
Ha! That’s what I tried to keep telling him!
Haha! He’s adorable. How is all of that going?! Have you seen the final cut???
Haven’t seen the final cut and won’t for a few more weeks. Patience is NOT my virtue!!
Yeah, I’d be crazy eager to see that! You just need to… you know… cozy up to the camera guy and all that…. surely he’ll give you a “sneak peak……”
Ha! I’ll let you know how that works out for an early viewing!
I can’t WAIT to see your show…it’s going to happen, you just wait! 🙂
My fingers (and toes) are crossed. Thank you for your supportive words! 🙂
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