For me, making an ass out of myself is so easy.
It all starts with the rental of a party bus – complete with motion lights, dance music, an extremely patient designated driver and a gaggle of loud ladies.
Add in a few bottles of booze to pass the time while cruisin’ around town.
And boom. Immediate dance party on the bus.
As the bus stops at your selected designation, walk on the carpet to the entrance of the bar like E! News is there covering your every move.
As you drive around town, be sure to keep your head out the window (yes, just like dogs do) as you drive at 8 mph. The wind will ever-so-slightly be blowing through your hair (and you’ll feel like a vixen from some music video), so as you look like you’ve never met a brush in your life.
When a bouncer of a bar runs up to your window (because you’re driving at such dynamic speeds) and offers your entire bus free shots, try to keep it together.
After doing shots for the girls that were too classy to participate (how can you say no? It’s FREE!) show everyone the evidence of your tonsillectomy from when you were 6-years-old.
You know it’s time to party down when the jazz hands come out to play.
Upon exhibiting your mad dancing skills, it’s important you keep hydrated.
So you’re able to keep the bus moving off of your energy alone.
By this point, you’ll know it’s time to bust a major move.
Then when someone suggests a move after you keep bragging about knowing how to do hot yoga…
…you accept the challenge and pull all kinds muscles you never knew existed within your body.
And when you’re done showing how big of an ass you can be, head to the nearest masseuse.