How to Make an Ass of Yourself on a Party Bus

For me, making an ass out of myself is so easy.

I just threw my back out

The look of throwing one’s back out.

It all starts with the rental of a party bus – complete with motion lights, dance music, an extremely patient designated driver and a gaggle of loud ladies.

Big wheels keep on turnin'

Big wheels keep on turnin’.

Add in a few bottles of booze to pass the time while cruisin’ around town.

Such a good idea

Feels so good when it hits the lips.

And boom. Immediate dance party on the bus.

Automatic dance party.

No tips please.

As the bus stops at your selected designation, walk on the carpet to the entrance of the bar like E! News is there covering your every move.

Rolled out the red carpet for me. And the 572 other folks at the bar Friday night.

Red carpet for me….and the 572 other folks at the joint.

As you drive around town, be sure to keep your head out the window (yes, just like dogs do) as you drive at 8 mph. The wind will ever-so-slightly be blowing through your hair (and you’ll feel like a vixen from some music video), so as you look like you’ve never met a brush in your life.

When a bouncer of a bar runs up to your window (because you’re driving at such dynamic speeds) and offers your entire bus free shots, try to keep it together.

Nothing a little Jager can't cure

We’ll break your bank. Seriously.

After doing shots for the girls that were too classy to participate (how can you say no? It’s FREE!) show everyone the evidence of your tonsillectomy from when you were 6-years-old.

I just wanted everyone to know that I had my tonsils removed.

Nope. No tonsils in sight.

You know it’s time to party down when the jazz hands come out to play.

Jazz hands!

No girls night out (or asshole) is complete without a set of these babies.

Upon exhibiting your mad dancing skills, it’s important you keep hydrated.

Down the...

Down the…

So you’re able to keep the bus moving off of your energy alone.

No tips please.

The night’s 3,291st rendition of “Girls Just Want to Have Fun.”

By this point, you’ll know it’s time to bust a major move.

Getting down with my ducky self.

Getting down with my ducky self.

Then when someone suggests a move after you keep bragging about knowing how to do hot yoga…

You want me to what?

You want me to what?

…you accept the challenge and pull all kinds muscles you never knew existed within your body.

I got this.

Leaning tower of CBXB.

And when you’re done showing how big of an ass you can be, head to the nearest masseuse.

Trust me.



42 thoughts on “How to Make an Ass of Yourself on a Party Bus

  1. You know, if that giant bottle had slipped you would have been a “genie in a bottle.” Good thing you are the mighty CBXB!

  2. OMG, Your ducky self picture. Priceless! Hahaha

  3. Aussa Lorens says:

    Ahh haha– I’ve never seen the inside of a party bus but this pretty much lives up to all of my expectations! Maybe someday…

  4. This is partying that even Andrew WK would be jealous of!

  5. Phil Lanoue says:

    Once again you got it goin’ on!

  6. SerachShiro says:

    You had a great-time I saw and how fun was the photo of you with the bottle of Jagermeister 🙂 ! The morning after Teddy brought your breakfast to bed or he was still sleeping ? 🙂

Holla at me!

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