How to Be Your Own Superhero

Being that I’m above the voting age and not married with kids really freaks the fuck out of some people. Then hearing that I’m happy with where I am in life practically sends them over the proverbial edge.

Aren’t you lonely? Yes, I’m so lonely that I get to do as I please whenever I please.

Who will take care of you when you’re old? My cat. Duh.

Why aren’t you married? Because I’ve never asked anyone to marry me.

Suck it Spidey

Who needs a superhero when you have yourself?

My love affair with Spider-Man started at birth (as well as my love for all things cat). Upon entering toddlerhood, I was bedazzled in dresses accessorized with Spidey necklaces and matching kicks.

Shoe lovin' in the form of Spiderman.

And the love of shoes was born….all because of a superhero.

Don’t know what to get a two-year-old gal? Why an apron and Spider-Man shoes of course.

Not only can I cook but I can also kick your ass with my fabulous sneakers.

Not only can I cook but I can also kick ass due to my powerful shoes.

Batman had Robin, I had Spider-Man.

Who wants a doll?

Who needs girlie dolls when you can have this side-kick?

My love of Spidey didn’t end with my welcoming of puberty. I happily stole thunder from six-year-olds as I hoarded their superhero at my table while in a Marvel restaurant at Universal Studios. Did my grown ass know better? Yes. Did I care? Hell no.

Seriously. Loving Spidey.

Me and my handsome crusader. He’s mine. ALL MINE. So suck it kids.

I always loved that Spidey was a lone superhero. He didn’t need a wing man, he didn’t drive a tricked out ride or wear a jet pack to zip around. My guy just used his wrist web shooters, superhuman strength and his spider sense (which I suppose for us regular humans translates to ‘gut feeling’)…basically relying on himself.

It makes sense that the no-frills, no-nonsense Spider-Man was my fave masked warrior. He used what natural powers he had to thwart the bad guys and seemed happy as Peter Parker, living a normal life – pursing love interest Gwen Stacy (or Mary Jane Watson – take your pick here), enjoying time with his Aunt Mae and being a regular dude in his ‘off’ time.


Pretending I’m Gwen, being whisked off my feet…

So while some people tend to look at us happily single folks, moving about our daily lives with a sympathetic eye, allow me to speak for all of us in the unattached population. We’re fine. We’re happy. In fact, we’re thriving!

It’s not to say that I don’t want to settle down, gather more cats and live alongside a partner in crime. I’d love to share my life – but I want it, I don’t need it. And I most certainly won’t settle. I’m really happy with my life, which is all anyone can ask for, ya dig?

Web slinging

Webslinging with my main superhero squeeze.

I’ve found that as ebb and flow moments have carved my life, I’m responsible for my happiness, not anyone else. Not comic book characters. Not family members. Not friends. Not a man of romance. These relationships can enhance contentment of course but ultimately the choice of happiness falls on my own shoulders.

Which makes each one of us our own superhero.

Encountering a chance meeting with my hero Spider-Man last spring, it was all fun and games until he asked, “What’s wrong with you…you’re not married?”

Suck it Spidey

Not a damn thing wrong with me, Spidey.

Who needs a man in tights when I’m my own superhero?



44 thoughts on “How to Be Your Own Superhero

  1. curvyroads says:

    You go girl! 🙂

  2. A truly sparkling post on the world wide WEB! (a little spider humor)

    I should really keep up at checking more often, cause it’s criminal I missed this post till now! Bravo! Huzzah! It’s great to see you’re in such a happy place in this crazy world of singledom! I gotta imagine there’s a line of Tennessee fellas hoping to be the very lucky one!

    And that first picture should be the poster for the next Spiderman movie. …or on a t-shirt which I will get printed up and run in the background of a news broadcast waving like a fool.

    • Yes! I feel like me punching Spidey should so be the movie poster AND matching t-shirt to aid in your ability to jump up and down like a madman behind a camera. Hmm…how many iron on shirts do you think I could make by the time the movie is released?

      Crazy singledom world isn’t as bad as folks make it out to be. But honestly, I plan on being happy single, attached and/or in between. I mean Jesus, I have Teddy to keep me company always! What more could a gal ask for?!

  3. elkee says:

    I’m with you on the whole why aren’t you married/have a boyfriend/have kids? thing. I mean, I’m honestly happier than I have ever been being single and not on the look out for a mate. Sometimes people use the argument that I just need to find the right person but honestly I have been with dome awesome (and awful) men and don’t feel that way at all. I’m just not ready for all of the work that comes in to having a relationship….I mean I have to expend that energy on my dogs for chriss sakes! Anyway …thank you for this post! its nice to know there are others like me out there somewhere.

    • I knew we were gals cut from the same cloth when you bathroom bartended! 🙂 It’s funny how others can look at single peeps and think we’re not happy because we’re not attached. Your dogs and my cats are enough relationship work for the moment, thank you very much! And I’ve got your back Girl – whether you’re single or happily hooked up.

  4. You do look amazingly like Gwen, but be careful you know how things turned out for her! Just sayin!

  5. kellisamson says:

    Preach it, sistah!

  6. Gene'O says:

    Reblogged this on Part Time Monster and commented:
    If Diana’s not either standing in an airport on on a plane, she will be soon. Since my week of minding the shop here is almost done, and since I just discovered the most perfect reblog for The Monster ever, I’ll just post this here. I didn’t get married until I found the right person, and I didn’t settle, either. I’ve been married almost 11 years, and I have never been sorry. Those of you who are happily single until you find the right person should enjoy the hell out of this one.

  7. Gene'O says:

    This is a great line: Aren’t you lonely? Yes, I’m so lonely that I get to do as I please whenever I please.

    And this one right here made me spew beer out of my nose:

    Why aren’t you married? Because I’ve never asked anyone to marry me.

    The reason I found it so hilarious is because my wife asked me to marry her. And my sister, who is flying back from a Vegas wedding frolic right this minute, asked her husband to marry her. So you can see why it made me laugh, and in a good way.

    Rock on!

    • I love your wife and sister already! My kind of ladies!
      SO thrilled I made beer spew out your nose! That right there just made my week. 🙂

      • Gene'O says:

        Cool 🙂 That reblog i dropped on the thread just below is actually my sis’ blog. She’s been out of town. I put it there because this is her kind of post and that blog is the one that’s doing best right now. My wife comments very occasionally, and she loved this post as much as I did. I’m sure she’ll read more of your stuff.

      • Thanks Gene’O for spreading the CBXB love! I’m so glad that you and your crew ‘get’ this post, as I was a little worried it sounded like I was on a soap box or something. Ya never know how folks will interpret a post!

  8. This post was incredible! I haven’t done an official study, but I think women get harassed for their singularity (singularness? singaliciousness?) than guys do. Sure, my parents want to know when I’m going to marry my girlfriend of 5 years, but she gets the exact same question from people that she has known for less than 30 seconds sometimes.

    It’s just a stupid society-conformity crap thing. Guys can be alone and independent, but when women do it, well that’s just sad.

    Good for you for being comfortable in your own skin. That’s the only way to really be happy.

    • Thanks for the kind words – and for understanding! It does seem like a double standard, where guys are ‘cool’ if they remain bachelors while women are often referred to as ‘old maids’! I do feel your girlfriend’s pain. 🙂
      Being happy is what it’s all about in my book. Cheers!

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