High Maintenance Pussy Hoarder

It’s all fun and games being a crazy cat lady until you have two high maintenance pussies under one roof.

Crazier by the second over here in my neck of Nashville's cat hoarding woods.

Crazier by the second over here in my neck of Nashville’s cat hoarding woods.

For those of you who don’t know, His Royal Majesty Ted and I took in a soaking wet kit cat that shivered on our doorstep one 15 degree evening in January (seriously, could he have picked a better door?). We dubbed him New Cat so we wouldn’t fall in love and want to keep him under our roof.

Pain in the ass acquisition

Pain in the ass acquisition.

Of course all of the kings horses and all of the kings men knew that once the drawbridge to my mini manse opened for New Pussy, he was basically going to remain in our kingdom forever.

lovin

For the 1,578th time, you’re welcome for the warm house and constant food!

I always thought Teddy was the most high maintenance feline I’d ever encounter. When I rescued him, he had an upper respiratory infection, ring worm and somehow developed an allergy to chicken (so his bags of food cost a measly $60). But my the little love of my life has proven to be worth every precious penny with which I’ve parted.

TedSTAR!

The million dollar pussy.

Enter New Cat.

When the vet checked him out initially, he’d been neutered (meaning someone dumped him which pisses me off beyond explanation) and was granted an overall clean bill of health. Then two weeks ago, he showed up with a funky eye one morning which had me racing to the vet, as I was worried whatever he had was going to jump into Ted’s eyes (and of course I wanted NC to feel better).

Pink eye

Pussy pink eye.

This tuxedo cat was in such a panic about being at the vet, he climbed all over me like a jungle gym to avoid the cold examination table.

Cry all you want. No one is going to help you.

Meow at the top of your lungs all you want. No one is going to help you.

We left the doctor with eye gel, oral medicine and a head cone which has made for some of the best entertainment (have you ever witnessed a cat walking backward? It’s how NC maneuvers around the mini manse with his cone) I’ve seen recently.

Cone sucks.

Conehead backing away.

At NC’s checkup this past Saturday, it was discovered that this little money sucker somehow developed an ear infection which requires drops that I had to pick up at an actual pharmacy. Wanna know how to feel like an asshole at Walgreens? Drop off a prescription for a nameless animal.

When I heard “New Cat, your prescription is ready” over the intercom, I kinda wanted to go down the proverbial rabbit hole and stay there forever as what self-respecting cat lady doesn’t give her feline a proper name?

Hi. I'm a cat lady. And yes, I'm crazy.

Hi. I’m the cat lady. And yes, I’m crazy.

The best part about my recently acquired sick pussy is giving him three different medications while he’s sporting a cone. If you’ve never given a cat ear drops, eye drops and oral medication twice a day while he’s wearing plastic around his face, you’re really missing out in life.

It’s the best.time.ever.

Although New Cat has only added to my already high maintenance household (I mean between Ted and myself…) he’s proven to be beyond thankful in regard to his recent medical care and rags to riches lifestyle turnaround. He now shows his appreciation backward as he can’t figure out how to snuggle up under my chin with his cone. So he does it in the reverse.

Cone snuggle

The reverse snuggle. A new nightly ritual.

Cat back pack.

That carries on far longer than it should.

Know of any other high maintenance, homeless cats looking for a home with a less than rich blonde caretaker? Please, send them my way.

I seem to be collecting them…

CBXB

CBXB!

78 thoughts on “High Maintenance Pussy Hoarder

  1. holley4734 says:

    The title alone is priceless!! πŸ™‚ Lovely pictures of the kitties. πŸ™‚

  2. Tracy says:

    LOVE this post! I think you outta name the cat Tux – then you have Tux and Ted!

    • I love the idea of Tux and Ted! It’s been so hard trying to think of a name, as I’ve let him be New Cat for so long! I think I will have a naming contest here on the blog. I’ll keep your submission as Tux!

  3. How’s about a GoFundMe campaign ha ha! He couldn’t have picked a better home πŸ™‚

  4. You’re a good person, and it’s fate that brought New Cat to your door. It was meant to happen. That’s Karma for ya, giving you a job you don’t necessarily need, but there is definite trust that you will do a damn good job at it.

  5. Gene'O says:

    Very nice. Not only are a good person, I am beginning to realize that you know how to spin a yarn! πŸ˜‰ And the personal pics add a lot.

    And I must say, having cats to blog about makes for some very entertaining headlines.

    I like your blog more every time I stop by here.

    • Well thanks Gene’O! You just made my week with your nice compliments!

      The play on words is something I tried early on with good response, so it’s stuck. And yes, cats make it beyond easy…as does my mad selfie skills. I have no shame, if you can’t tell.

  6. markbialczak says:

    I betcha somewhere in our silly world there is somebody who picks up a prescription from Walgreens whose last name is … wait for it … Knewkhat. So who knew it was for the New Cat, CBXB?! I’d like to see the backward cone-living, by the way.

  7. New Cat & Ted are ridiculously lucky little pussies, medicated or not!

  8. The Regular Guy NYC says:

    Having pets are as expensive as having kids! Just wait until you get a third one!

    At least you don’t have to pay for them going to college.

  9. NC is so cute and so lucky to have a caring mommy. I like the pictures and you match NC perfectly with that b/w sweater.

  10. stylentonic says:

    Oh yes I know, I have three!!!! xxx

  11. st sahm says:

    NC is spooning you!

    Somehow NC knew to wait on your lovin’ doorstep.

  12. Geez and I thought my pussy was high maintenance! and you have two of them. I envy and you don’t envy you at the same time! (thanks for making me feel conflicted ;P) I’m suddenly grateful for my Mordechai!

  13. My first cat (a stray) was called “Puss Cat”. In fact all our cats were strays and/or drop-offs. Don’t have any now…Apartment living is a little too expensive and restrictive!

  14. 1EarthUnited says:

    A match made in heaven, New Cat loved you a mile away. There’s no choosing cats, they choose you! Aww, u’r an awesome cat lady πŸ™‚

  15. Phil Lanoue says:

    Good on you! There is a special place reserved for you (ya know, for later) for taking such great care of the littlest and most helpless of creatures.
    You are the best and I seriously mean that!
    Ok, well I have been drinking…but still! I mean it!

    • I think the best compliments come after one has been drinking because it’s typically the truth. So thank you my friend! I know we share the same love for the little helpless creatures. You are among the best of the best as well….and I haven’t even been cocktailing yet! Although, just imagine how much more flowery it would sound once the Captain starts to flow….

  16. kellisamson says:

    I literally laughed out loud at the pharmacist calling for “New Cat.”

  17. SerachShiro says:

    I loved the whole story about them and Ted and NC are your best friends ! And I also would like to say to you that you are a very positive, good person and compliments to the best ( care for) cat lover from Nashville πŸ™‚ !

  18. […] in her Weekend Winks series. Oh, and you can expect adorable photos of Ted and her latest addition New Cat (which is a great story) in each […]

  19. […] I was unable to stop and conduct my typical greeting to my adoring felines. Not having any of that, Mr. Needypants wouldn’t leave me alone for all of 32 seconds to go to the […]

  20. […] And a precious pumpkin for even the most annoying feline in the animal kingdom, New Cat. […]

  21. […] almost killed New Cat (by yours truly), as he risked one of his nine lives to photo bomb my […]

  22. […] even enough energy to thwart suicide attempts by New Cat. (He […]

  23. […] mentally challenged (think Lloyd Christmas from Dumb and Dumber) tuxedo cat we cleverly named New Cat.Β  Wondering how I could costume a trio, my gal pal over at Apple Pie and Napalm suggested Catman […]

  24. […] And this cute little starter kit keeps finding its way onto my Facebook page…Pete, Michelle, Mama CBXB and Aunt Crazy Pants have all seen these little faces and thought appropriate for me. Ted would like me to tell you to “go fuck yourself” (his words, not mine) as our hands are full with New Cat. […]

  25. […] nestled down in his Juicy Couture Pussy Palace while visions of life without New Cat danced around in his furry […]

  26. […] globed PJs, one happy cat and one pissed off […]

  27. […] I did grace my mini manse with my presence all New Cat wanted was a heaping bowl of […]

  28. […] New Cat tried to join in on the snuggling, Mr. Ted E. Bear showed him who was […]

  29. […] love was all around the mini manse when Dada CBXB appeared and New Cat mauled him all […]

  30. […] New Cat checked under the kitchen rug to no avail. […]

  31. […] those of you feeling bad that New Cat is left out – well, that’s his own fucking fault. His brain is filled with so many dead […]

  32. […] was spent in typical fashion – with New Cat frolicking to the couch, only to see he was again too late to partake in lap love as TedΒ  pretends […]

  33. […] his lips in three years (TRUTH: I couldn’t get to the vet early enough this week, so he and New Cat were forced to eat tuna, poor things).Β  It was such a lip smacking good party, Ted couldn’t […]

  34. […] help but take him in and try to find him a permanent home, which ended up being mine. Introducing a new pussy into the mini manse, Mr. Bear wasn’t sure what the fuck I was thinking and proceeded to act […]

  35. […] for me and one for my pussy. (You didn’t think I was getting greedy did you? And yes, you New Cat lovers, he gets a basket too but is such a big, fat baby that he hides whenever there is any kind […]

  36. […] until my little ones started pulling this shit whenever I try to leave the mini manse (and yes, my babies are cats. Stop […]

  37. […] shit crazy about my cat Ted and slightly cray cray about the brother I forced upon him last year, New Cat (yep, that’s still his […]

  38. […] myself here, I thought it would only be fitting to interview our my favorite feline fur ball (yes, New Cat is still around but we all know he’s not my fave) who rules the world of […]

  39. […] now that Ted has a partner in crime – New Cat – they can be such little bitches […]

  40. […] you’re a regular reader, you may have noticed this typically bright, shiny, sparkly and pussy filled blog has been dark for almost four weeks. And, there’s been quite a big reason for my need to […]

  41. […] Until that Key West vacation, I was a one pussy at a time kinda gal. Even though I’d always loved cats of all kinds, I had one precious prince at a time. Until there was New Cat. […]

Holla at me!

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s