Planning to spend a relaxing Mother’s Day weekend around the mini manse with my two fur balls (yes, I celebrate this special day of moms even though I don’t have my own humans – I’m assuming your card is in the mail to me?) took an unexpected turn with my innate ability to act stereotypically blonde.
Is there a better way to spend a Friday night than taking in a movie (after mixing cocktails in the bathroom – I know it sounds so disgusting but seriously alcohol kills the germs, right? RIGHT?) on its opening weekend?
The film of choice was Neighbors, starring Zac Efron (and some other people) which may or may not be the entire reason I wanted to go and see this flick.
Mr. Dreamboat’s blue eyes apparently put me in trance, as I somehow managed to lose my cell phone between the movie theater and my mini manse. Naturally I didn’t realize this until Saturday morning when I went to grab the device from its usual resting spot by my sleeping head. Then I nonchalantly sauntered over to my purse to retrieve my mini lifeline that I must have forgotten to take out of my purse the previous evening.
Retracing every single high-heeled step from Friday night, I morphed into a Tasmanian devil tearing my mini manse apart. After five hours of scouring my trash cans, kitchen, bathroom and bedroom drawers, couch cushions, in the piano, under the bed, in the freezer, through dirty laundry, in Teddy’s food bowl, behind every piece of furniture under the roof, outside of the balcony AND through my car, I looked like a deranged lunatic in dire need of a bottle of booze.
Throwing up the white flag, I traipsed over to the phone store and became a new owner of a slick phone. Problem is I have no one’s contact information or any of the 1,463,092 photos I hoarded over the past two years. But this is an experience I’ve mustered through before when roughly 700 days ago, I accidentally ran over my phone and got to start from scratch on the information train.
Having a shiny new piece of technology with no protective gear started to make me sweat, so I zipped over to the mall where I intended on getting a snazzy new Juicy Couture (my mothership of shopping) phone case. Only thing is, I’ve apparently lost my Juicy store here in Nashville.
Standing dumbfounded in the mall, feelings of retail despair crept over my being and I did the only thing I could think to do…share a cocktail with a gal pal.
In between the snapping of this photo and a trip to the bathroom, I lost one of my fave sterling silver earrings that I’d splurged on with holiday money. I also lost a gold button off of my blouse and acquired strange looks when asking staff if they could see either missing item (on a dark restaurant floor). I was falling apart at the seams…
Sunday morning was all giggles and smiles from the twins in Iowa.
It’s hard to believe that one year ago on Mother’s Day my niece and nephew looked like two roly polies that could hardly turn their chubby necks from one side to another.
Being that I’m a mom to two fur balls, I was commanded to make an appearance on the porch in order to retrieve my gift. God forbid someone lift a paw.
Joining up for a date day with my mama, I was filling her in on all of my minor losses over the weekend when the heel cap of my shoe came off in the crack of a sidewalk (thank God I didn’t break my mom’s back) as we were walking downtown. Luckily for no one, I spent the rest of the day sounding like a half-assed tap dancer clip clapping my way all over the city.
Slightly limping my way through the streets of Nashville due to my heels being uneven, we went to see Million Dollar Quartet at the Tennessee Performing Arts Center. And holy shit was it fabulous.
I over enjoyed myself so much that the man in front of us turned around after the show and said, “Who was screaming so loud? Never thought to bring ear plugs to a Broadway musical,” as I pointed to my mother.
While we ended our day on a high note of fresh margaritas from a local restaurant, I managed to keep everything in tact for the remainder of the weekend.
I thought my minor losses were behind me until I appeared at work and lost air conditioning in my office on a 90 degree day.
Here’s hoping I don’t lose my marbles (or anything else for that matter) by Friday…