How to Pass the Sparkle On

I’ve never met anything gaudy that I didn’t immediately love and it’s of utmost importance (to me) that my love of sparkle make its way to the next generation.


Wishing this little giddy up still fit to parade around in daily, minus the heinous hair cut.

You can imagine my delight when I became the proud aunt of twins – one being a little girl. I knew she was going to fill my high heels in no time flat when I saw the camera hogging abilities with which she was born.

Scene stealer

A natural scene stealer.

While my amorous relationship with glitter and glitz began with a turquoise sequins top, I thought for certain this raccoon-like trait would be passed along to my niece.


Please put this on me and never take it off. Ever.

Turns out my Princess B wasn’t a natural-born lover of all things ostentatious.

It's my party...

An underwhelmed, sparkly Super Girl.

Seems that the only time I showed disdain in an outfit is when it lacked sparkle.

First Mate

Seriously, this First Mate shit is the best we could do?

Thinking Princess B may need to be eased into the gaudiness of Auntie CBXB, I hoped a bright pink, star adorned puffer vest might do the trick.

On and on and on

Flamboyancy fail.

To me, the only thing worse than wearing a simple jeans and t-shirt combo is the thought of anything neutral finding its way into my wardrobe. Even as a kid, the horror of me being in anything close to the color khaki threw me into fits of tears…


Dad might as well have thrown the brown sack over my head.

So you can imagine my utter delight when I purchased the most non-subtle dress for a toddler in the world (you bet your ass I’d have a matching one if it came in my size) and Princess B showed great interest.

Be still my beating heart...

Mine. Mine. Mine. Mine. Mine.

Seeing the look on my niece’s face as she took her first few steps into the mini prom dress, I felt the taste of victory creeping over my fuchsia stained lips.


Sparkle lover being born…

But in .00187 seconds affection turned to disgust and the gaudy sky turned gray.

Dress fail.

An all out bawl baby breakdown.


Followed by deep sighs and sniffles.

But suddenly the attitude was adjusted the moment Princess B stopped to smell the glittery roses and evaluated just how this ornate outfit made her feel.

But wait...

But wait…feeling fancy doesn’t suck.

And then…



Dressed for extravagant success!

Turns out Princess B will be taking over the glaringly bright, gaudy baton I will be handing her one day after all.


Hopefully as a grown woman, she’ll be sneaking into famous people’s closets to play dress up, making Auntie CBXB proud.

I’m so glad she finally saw the light.

One can hope.

My shimmering heart bursts with pride.

I mean, someone needs to carry on my sparkly shenanigans, ya dig?

Sparkle On.








48 thoughts on “How to Pass the Sparkle On

  1. Jani says:

    Love you 2 sparkley girls!

  2. Tracy says:

    Who doesn’t like bling! I was dubbed the Blinganator in Mexico a few years ago because of my bling. And the older I get, the gaudier I like it – bring on bling and gaudy!

  3. Hahaha, I have to admit I was rooting for her to prefer plain jane stuff in the end. My daughter isn’t into sparkle and it kills my mom. She had all boys and badly wants a girl who will let her dress her up real pretty. Lol.

  4. Hilarious pics and narrative. She’s just going to have to love all the gaudy gear that her sparkly aunt forces upon her. ๐Ÿ˜€

  5. markbialczak says:

    Can you say protege? But what her mom say, CBXB?

  6. Too much cuteness in one post. Ted will be jealous,

  7. “Feeling fancy never sucks” – I don’t have a tattoo but that would be a top contenderโ€ฆor at least a bumper sticker!

  8. kellisamson says:

    Adorable! I’m so glad she came around to your way of thinking!

  9. st sahm says:

    I freakin’ love you.

  10. Kavalkade Krew says:

    Those chubby cheeks run in the family!

  11. You look so adorable on that first picture. Your niece certainly takes after you ๐Ÿ™‚

  12. SerachShiro says:

    You both look like each other, and I think you already know ! Great pictures of both of you two ๐Ÿ™‚ !

  13. […] turns out that my niece, Princess B does a pretty good imitation of her feline […]

  14. […] also got my ass handed to me by Princess B – you know, my fact checker for this […]

  15. […] I was rolling in the dough, Princess B was putting the finishing touches on her Valentine in frigid […]

  16. […] Princess B could have cared less that the Hawkeyes won when she found out the celebratory meal would take […]

  17. […] Princess B never ceases to amaze me with her mad multitasking skills as she can blow her nails dry while trying to urinate in her port-a-potty that resides in the hallway so she can keep dibs on everyone. […]

  18. […] Erickson chip dip (seriously the best dip on the planet and my ample ass can prove it!) for me but Princess B had other […]

  19. […] Princess B had a much better (smarter, cleaner, safer) way of keeping her body temp in check by slurping on a slice of watermelon. […]

  20. […] of acquiring a new fur ball really wound the twins up – Princess B even dressed up in her finest prom gown (compliments of moi – surprised?) while awaiting Spike’s […]

  21. […] of shots (caffeine that is), Princess B has decided that she will work at a Starbucks drive thru for her first […]

  22. […] Princess B was more concerned with her fingernails than football. […]

  23. […] that I like to take a fur baby everywhere and following in her Auntie CBXB’s footsteps, Princess B went to Build-a-Bear and created a cat (naturally).ย  When it came time to give her new feline a […]

  24. […] Snowfall means it’s time for expert Christmas tree decorating and if anyone is taking over in that domain, it’s Princess B. […]

  25. […] of stuffing myself into an extra-large kids t-shirt. Therefore, I get to wear matching tops with Princess B while she still thinks it’s […]

  26. […] thing that runs in the family? Fabulous nails. Princess B set out to give Auntie CBXB a run for her patriotic mani […]

  27. […] honestly, the icing on the cake comes from none other than Princess B, my mini […]

  28. […] of autographs, I can also secure you one of Princess B when she becomes a hair […]

  29. […] Princess B got to go to the American Girl Doll store (which is apparently a rite of passage for kids when visiting Michigan Avenue). Instead of selecting a doll, she opted for a puppy which made my heart just about burst. […]

  30. […] Princess B decided to get a few inches chopped off of her luscious locks and I don’t care that she’s my mini me, this chick can do no wrong when it comes to life her hair. […]

  31. […] Princess B has become quite the “baker” as she learned how to deep fry an Oreo. […]

Holla at me!

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s