The Dumb to My Dumber

Folks often tell me that I act like my aunt Crazy Pants. We could be known as Thelma and Louise (but we’re not as cool and fabulous – we wouldn’t drive off a cliff on purpose, we’d do it because we were lost and missed a turn) although we more often times resemble Lucy and Ethel (on our best days) but in reality we can most identify with Dumb and Dumber.

Crazy!

Crazy times two.

Of all of the things we have in common, we share a love of Jell-O shots which are a staple at every family gathering (classy, I know) and party I throw.

Jello Love

Jell-O shots = Love

I mean we really love the spiked gelatin.

oving Jell-O maybe a little too much.

Like really, really, really love.

Down the hatch. How many?

Especially with whipped cream.

Our consumption of Jell-O shots makes us both more limber (until we wake up the next morning and can’t move).

Jell-O makes us limber

Who doesn’t do a leg lift after a bit of J-E-L-L-O?

Hey-o! Almost to the toes!

Hey-o! Jell-O makes me stretch almost to my toes!

However, I do not ever try to do tricks with my shots of liquor. There’s too much risk that it won’t make it to my mouth, which in my mind would be a travesty.

She can shoot Jell-O with no hands!

She can shoot Jell-O with no hands!

Or can she?

But really, she can’t.

Can't. Stop. Laughing. At. Her. Or, I mean with. WITH HER.

Can’t. stop. laughing. at. Aunt Crazy Pants. Errr, I mean with. Laughing WITH HER.

Upon making sure that whipped cream was ground into my carpet (thus I will not be getting my deposit back), Aunt Crazy Pants decided to go on a path of destruction in my mini manse by taking her tipsy ass into my beloved dressing room.

Fave room in my mini manse...

What CBXB does with extra bedrooms.

My dressing room is home to my two shoe towers (and no, I still don’t have too many shoes Dad and yes folks, I do wear all of them).

Tower of Shoes

Wall of bliss.

Admiring my collection

Even Ted admires my collection daily.

All was well in my closet kingdom until this tiny bull walked into my china shop and decided to trip into one of my towers that was bolted to the wall. The shelving quickly turned into a leaning tower of shoes, as it had about six inches in between the wall and the back of the racks.

Bag of Crazy

Apparently, the whipped cream on her glasses obstructed her view.

We then had to call in Camo during our girls night in to put a temporary band aid on the problem so we wouldn’t be making any trips to the emergency room with stories of shoe boxes falling onto our heads.

Closet hero

Closet hero.

Saving the Closet

I’m a big help, I know.

Crazy Pants can kiss my ass.

Think HGTV will come calling due to my mad holding skills?

When Camo was rewarded with a beer, Aunt Crazy Pants tried to show her gratitude by mauling him.

Mauling. Part 1.

Manhandling, Part 1.

Mauling Part 2.

Manhandling Part 2.

Make it stop. No seriously, make it stop.

Make the manhandling stop. No seriously, make it stop. Somebody muzzle her.

L-Dawg came in to save the the day (and Camo’s dignity) by wrangling Crazy Pants with a dish towel.

L-Dawg wrangled Crazy Pants

Making sure no more Jell-O shots spill and CP stays in her seat.

For the next eight minutes, all was good in my mini manse hood until this happened….

Down the hatch.

Down the Crazy Pant hatch.

There was no turning back once she was out of Jell-O shots, so we put a boa on her and made her dance (and we have videos to prove it).

After the finishing shots, there was no wrangling her. So we put a boa on and made her dance.

Dumb and Dumber at our dancing finest.

I’m happy to report that the mini manse is still standing. But I’m certain that’s due to the fact that Aunt Crazy Pants went home.

Cheers!

CBXB

CBXB!

37 thoughts on “The Dumb to My Dumber

  1. This genuinely had me GRINNING : D

    The more I read your blog, the more I feel Jell-O shots are a food group in your family. They’d be in a food pyramid and all.

    Oh, the shoe porn is FAHbulous in this post < 3

  2. Kaufmans Kavalkade says:

    Hey, imelda! Does Teddy have a shoe fetish?

  3. kellisamson says:

    Oh, my gawd. Why don’t I have an aunt like that?!

  4. Seriously, you are the funnest girl EVER. And a big round of applause from Princess Rosebud for the shoe towers. I keep forgetting to make I mean ask tugboat man to design one for me.

  5. Nancy says:

    Coming back soon…

  6. markbialczak says:

    It’s all relative in your family, right, CBXB! You got the best of her, and she got the best of you, and poor Camo just got the worst of it!

  7. So what you’re saying is that you come by your wild and zany wackiness honestly? πŸ˜‰

  8. LifeOfBun says:

    So this Halloween shall be the first time I actually try a Jell-o shot! Recommendations? What’s your fav? :3

    • Oooh really?! I’m so excited for you! I suggest you picking out any flavor that sounds good to you. Really. And if you’re unsure about regular vodka, use a flavored vodka (a berry Jell-O mix with berry vodka). And you must top with whipped cream. Please keep me posted!

  9. Oh my! How many years until you “become” Aunt Crazy Pants? πŸ˜‰

  10. JMC813 says:

    A family that does Jello shots together Stays together. Or something Like that. Lucy and Ethel Huh? CBXB you got some SPLAININ to do!!!!
    Reminds me of the vitameatavegamin episode. LOL. If you don’t know the reference than ya might wanna google it. I probably spelled it wrong tho Keep rockin CBXB

    • HAHA! I am dying over the Vitameatavegamin episode – if you didn’t spell it correctly, you almost did, as I was able to bring it up when I searched for it. Hilarious. I need to go back and watch some more Lucy episodes. Jell-O makes my family’s world go ’round. Obviously.

  11. SerachShiro says:

    Aunt crazy pants is a Hello/Jell-O of a great woman and I admire too your gorgeous shoe collection, I imagine that you’re proud of it πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚ !

  12. […] Playmate Crazy Pants, Hugh Hefner, Playmate Mama, Pam Man and yours truly. […]

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  15. […] car note, fed my fur balls and made a much needed trip to Iowa to see family. Less than a year ago, the Dumb to My Dumber, Aunt Crazy Pants, was suddenly diagnosed with terminal cancer after going in for a hip […]

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  17. […] life, every step felt like I was moving through snow waist deep. Yet again, life stops for no one. Aunt Crazy Pants was diagnosed with terminal cancer almost six months to the day after I was raped. She passed just […]

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