Weekend Winks – Thrones ‘n’ Football

Multi-screens in the mini manse, shit dip, moonshine and a brand new throne made this weekend divine.

Revenge of the shit dip.

Revenge of the shit dip.

After what felt like a year-long week, Saturday morning came a little too early after a little bit of boozing on Friday night.

Looking how I feel...

Looking how I feel. And yes, I’m the jackass who wears sunglasses in the supermarket.

I also got my ass handed to me by Princess B – you know, my fact checker for this blog.

Looking like a beast.

Not sure she likes what she’s reading.

She couldn’t stop herself from giving editorial notes while admiring herself on the small screen.

But wait, here's what it should have looked like.

But wait, here’s what it should have looked like.

After enduring the creative notes from my niece, I hustled to get ready for the weekly tailgate my folks and I have each Saturday.

All dressed up with no game to watch...

Little did we know this was a spread in search of a game.

Our tasty treats also included my gal pal Katie B’s infamous shit dip. It consists of corn, cream cheese and butter. And it tastes like heaven in your mouth.

And requires a side of toilet paper.

Trust me.

Click here for the recipe

You're seriously going to need this.

You’re seriously going to need this.

Anyone else have Comcast as their cable provider? Anyone else want to tell Comcast to suck shit?

On Saturday morning, TV the guide listed either my Iowa Hawkeye game or the Penn State game was going to air.

I checked online for the TV listings. No luck.

I called and talked to three different Comcast departments for over an hour with three of the same answers…

“We’re sorry, we can’t tell you what will air.”

How in the hell can the cable provider not know what they’re going to show? How? HOW?

Sure enough, kick-off time rolled around and the Penn State game appeared on TV in the Nashville area. So we turned my mini manse into a multi-screened viewing area with the help of my lap top and live streaming.

Just like a sports bar. Multi-screen

Just like a sports bar. Only less classy.

During the TV shenanigans, New Cat became a man whore.

Man whore

Mauling Gpa.

Gma

Mauling Gma.

I feed you. I

Mauling Mama.

Not one to miss out on any action, Teddy gave his own version of a lap dance.

Ass to the face.

An ass to Gma’s face felt appropriate.

Although we had to squint to watch our game, touchdowns still required our family tradition of moonshine shots.

Moonshine time!

TD Baby!

The halftime show consisted of a pussy trying to commit suicide, another unable to feign any emotion for the suicidal cat and a grandpa oblivious to either scene taking place around him.

A suicide, an I don't give a shit and a Gpa not paying attention. Halftime show consisted of...

Where’s a marching band when you need one?

During the second half of the game New New got so handsy with Gpa that he didn’t want to share, giving anyone that came close a death stare.

Third quarter snuggle.

Back off or I’ll bite.

I spent the rest of the third in the bathroom due to my copious amounts of my fave dip.

Shit happens.

Shit happens.

It was a good thing I’d eaten my weight in corn, as two touchdown and a victory shot waited for me in the fourth quarter.

A few more of these....

Popcorn Sutton White Whiskey for everyone!

Which made the rest of the afternoon feel like…

Moonshine Mania

Moonshine mania makes the world spin.

And copious amount of moonshine may or may not be why my masterpiece of a pizza turned out like this for supper…

Don't drink and cook.

Don’t drink and cook.

I ate it anyway. Surprise!

But not surprisingly, I ate it anyway.

Sunday found me admiring my Miami Mini Me’s newest hair accessory.

Miami Mini Me and her fabulous hair bow.

Yes she’s fabulous. And yes, I’m borrowing that bow!

And what could be more ah-mah-zing than being gifted my very own throne on a lazy afternoon?

Nothing.

Hello my love. How did I ever live without you?!

Hello my love. How did I ever live without you?!

Waving from my throne.

A classy chair for a trashtacular lady.

While I was careful to use only my wrist to wave so as not to jiggle my arm fat, this one sprawled out on his throne with a jiggly belly proudly exposed.

You want me to wave a paw at you or something?

You want me to wave a paw at you or something? Fuck off.

From our thrones to yours, here’s hoping your week is off to a fabulous start!

CBXB

CBXB!

 

36 thoughts on “Weekend Winks – Thrones ‘n’ Football

  1. Well, at least I don’t have to waste my Sundays watching football as my team is pretty much done for the season. Good thing hockey is starting soon!

  2. Lots of smiles what reading this. πŸ™‚ I’m sure you don’t really have arm fat.

  3. Sorry, what should read whilst. I’m not too clever with commenting on my iPhone. πŸ˜‰

  4. Nancy says:

    Love the chair and tailgate spread!

  5. NewCat has certainly settled in and made the mini manse his palace. I was worried they would crawl through the slats in your deck, but im thinking their girth keeps them from it, right?

    • Um, you guessed right. New Cat now looks as if he’s swallowed a bowling ball due to his over appreciation of always having food in a bowl around. He might get his shoulders through a slat but would be left dangling. I’m sure Ted would leave him there just long enough before pulling his tail in rescue. πŸ™‚

  6. That chair is divalicious!

  7. JMC813 says:

    This ALL rocks on every level CBXB. Don’t get me started on Comcast. I am at ATT now. I remember a few years back when a SJ Sharks PLAYOFF game was preempted by game four of a 162 game regular season Oakland A’s Baseball game. Every Hockey fan in the entire Bay Area ABSOLUTELY LOST THEIR SHIT. Next season Comcast Sports net had a spillover Sportsnet 2. And Now there is a third. I think their ass is STILL sore from all those HOCKEY fans boots. LOL Glad you found a way to get your game ON!!!

    • I wish all of the hockey fans in your area were Iowa Hawkeye fans in mine! Isn’t that the most unnerving shit of all time? Not getting a game from a network that you pay extra for? I can’t believe they showed a regular season A’s game over a Sharks playoff. WTF?! I’m sure someone got fired over that!!

      • JMC813 says:

        Oh it was a clusterfuck of epic proportions. Let’s just say that nonsense like that will not happen again as there is now CSN CSN Bay Area, and CSN California to handle any overlap of games. I dunno if anyone was fired but they found a mistake that only gets made ONCE!!!!! LOL. Be well Hawkeye Jazzhands.

      • I love being involved in situations where mistakes are only made once due to the proportions of complaints being made! Decision makers unite!

  8. kellisamson says:

    OOhhhh, where are you gonna put that gorgeous chair? Can’t wait for a pic!

  9. markbialczak says:

    Love the new diva throne! Love the extra large TP pack! (Corn-and-cream cheese dip, who woulda thunk up that one but Iowa Hawkeye fans!) Hate that the Big Ten Network shows just one game on the real TV with Comcast/Time Warner (they merged and now are bigger than the God Cable Company) and sticks the rest on the Interwebs. Yeah, I had to watch my Maryland Terps stomp all over Indiana on my iPad, too. This Saturday, Ohio State at Maryland, noon on ABC, tailgate in my Syracuse living room!! Have a great week, CBXB.

    • Ooooh! Big game for your Terps this weekend! I hope you beat the snot out of that Ohio team. I’m switching cable carriers as soon as AT&T Uverse is in my area. I pay extra money for the sports package that carries the Big Ten Network and can’t even watch the game I want…frustrating!

  10. LOVING the addition of a throne – it really is exactly what the mini-manse required for near completion (always leave the acquisition window slightly open…)
    Kinda scared about the dip…just saying.

  11. Phil Lanoue says:

    When I saw “throne” in the title and the first pic was you holding a roll of TP, I was expecting this story to go a different way but then it sorta went normal. Well normal is a relative term.
    Thisbe two kitties continue to be hysterical! 🐱

  12. Phil Lanoue says:

    Should be those two kitties. Stupid piece of shit ipad.

  13. Love your chair. NewCat looks happy.

  14. vudragovich says:

    I love all the little bits you put in your posts! Wish I Could give little thumbs up or I agree head nods throughout. At least Nc is feeling part of the familyeven if King Ted doesn’t wave

  15. SerachShiro says:

    My weekend was heavy because I had to follow 11 kids at the birthday party from my youngest daughter (park and Cinema )………..you can imagine !! But we all enjoyed πŸ™‚ ! So beautiful how Teddy go’s on with Gpa, so sweet (do they already mauled together ?) I adore your family tradition of moonshine shots, but do you have to take that dip even if you know that it will be short in body-circle ? Very lovely photos especially from Princes B and the very cute cats πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚ !

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