How to Be a Fictitious Rich Bitch

Do you have any idea how tough it is to show up to work and be requested to ride in a Rolls-Royce?

Do you?

Rough ride in the Rolls Royce...

My chariot of the morning.

And, I assume you also have no clue how to carry on the facade of wealth while inside the insanely pimp ride. You must dress the part, of course – complete with riding gloves and a sparkly skull pinkie ring.

I'm rich, Bitch.

I’m rich, Bitch.

Oh Daaahling, do you know how good your feet feel when placed upon furry, plush, cashmere floor mats?

Cashmere Dahling!

Not a feature in your Ford Focus?

Can you imagine how difficult it is steering a wheel that probably costs as much as your college education?

Wheelin' and dealin'

Could most likely be hawked for a small house.

Do you have any idea how hard it is to read a proper clock in an automobile? Do you?

blah blah

Who needs digital?

Now you know the difficulties of trying to appear like a rich, high profile person (and pretending to conceal said richness) while traveling in a Rolls.

You’re welcome.

How high maintenance can this rich bitch be?

Not smiling makes you look wealthier, right?

The drive home from work is going to be oh-so-ordinary tonight but that’s nothing a Skinny Pirate can’t fix.

First world problems are such a bitch.



18 thoughts on “How to Be a Fictitious Rich Bitch

  1. SerachShiro says:

    Hihihi…….so awesome, I think you had a lucky wonderful day 🙂 ? !

  2. You have entirely too much fun! God, I would love to ride around in a Rolls and sip a skinny margarita!

  3. JMC813 says:

    Don’t let the sound of your own wheels make ya crazy……And take it Eaaaasy. LOL. Day two of this awesome song stuck in my head. A Rolls Royce beats the ever living shit out of a flatbed ford any day tho CBXB.

  4. JMC813 says:

    Wow……I can say I knew you when……….LMAO. If you “see me on a corner in Winslow Arizona……Such a fine sight to see”……You better pick me up. Eagles lyrics courtesy of my musically overeducated and underpaid mind. LOL.

    • I will most definitely pick you up even with your tendency to talk in lyrics. That’s the best way to communicate, ya dig? I’m thinking you should bring the Grey Poupon. I’ll bring the Tennessee biscuits to put it on!

  5. Nancy says:

    What a ride!

  6. markbialczak says:

    You make a righteous Regina Rich, CBXB. You can take me for a spin any day! 😉

  7. reocochran says:

    This was an awesome ‘tutorial’ on how to act like the ‘rich and famous.’ So great, you actually lived it (for a day or more…) smiles!

Holla at me!

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