How to Almost Give a Gay Guy a Heart Attack

And no, the answer is not me naked.

Surprise party of one.

The answer is a surprise party of one stuffed into a car trunk.

This past weekend I was beckoned to Des Moines by my bestie Scooby to supply his husband with a good old fashioned make your heart stop birthday surprise.  Brainstorming on how I would be presented as a grand gift we landed on the idea of shoving me into the trunk for an ambush on Mr. Scooby.

Naturally, we pulled over in a church parking lot to get the deed done.

Good idea. God won't care.

Nothing strange about this scene.

A quick prayer was said in the hopes that no one would suffocate to death, all other vehicles on the road would avoid rear ending us and I prayed Scooby wouldn’t forget about me as soon as he went into the house to fetch his hubs.

Are you there God? It's me, Scooby.

Are you there God?
It’s me, Scooby.

With the surprise package in compact place, we were off.

Alive and kickin' but feeling very sorry for all of the damsels in acting TV  distress. This trunk shit is hard work. Especially the not laughing part.

Big ass, tiny space.

In case you were wondering what your trunk look like from the inside...

In case you were wondering, here’s what you’ll see if you’re ever thrown in a trunk.

As the car reached its destination, I heard voices approaching the vehicle to take a gander at what gift awaited while I almost pissed my pants from trying to keep my not so quiet laugh subdued. Mr. Scooby said, “is there a puppy in there?”

S.U.P.R.I.S.E. it's not a puppy!

S.U.P.R.I.S.E. it’s not a puppy!

It’s CBXB!

Happy or sad?

Bewildered birthday boy.

While the surprise was a success, I had a grand entrance fail.

Graceful exit. Easy in, hard out. Grand entrance fail.

Does anyone have a crane?

Once able to hoist my fat ass out of the trunk (a true junk in the trunk story here folks) it was birthday hugs for everyone.

Hieee!

It’s me!  In the flesh!

It's for reals.

For reals.

The only thing left to do was get the party started.

Let's party!

What’s a soiree without jazz hands?

And party we did.

Happiest of birthdays Mr. Scooby!

Happiest of birthdays Mr. Scooby!

Now how in the hell am I going to top this next year?

CBXB

CBXB!

 

15 thoughts on “How to Almost Give a Gay Guy a Heart Attack

  1. Hey girl. I don’t know what looks more yummy, the cake or that hot (but not available) did I say hot? guy. Just tell him to take his shirt off for me, ‘k?
    Junk in the trunk, so funny lol. Nice job doing it at a church. How about bringing some Duggars along for fun? Happy Bday to Scooby!

  2. markbialczak says:

    Lovely present, Megan. But you forgot to put on your bow!

  3. Joyce Metz says:

    That is so SWEET!

  4. First, that cake looked yums. Second, a little junk in the trunk doesn’t make one fat. It just makes sure you’re not breakable during sex. 😉

  5. The cake and the guy are really fine!
    Check your email, I sent you a photo from my Yahoo. We may need to hire a private investigator to determine if Ted had a booty call in my hometown in late April. We may need to talk child support and visitation. Can’t wait for you to see pic.

  6. JMC813 says:

    Best gift EVER. Jazz Hands are so appropriate when they arrive with the owner. Awesome fun.

  7. kellisamson says:

    I would also suffer time in a trunk for Mr. Scooby…

  8. Too funny! You look amazing and are a great sport. Is this the first ever catless post for CBXB?

  9. SerachShiro says:

    So amazing the surprise and I really loved it and don’t bother about your ass, men loves when there’s a bit of little curves around it, I have mine too 🙂 !!

  10. […] laughing at the back of your head), rushes to your aid when bad shit happens to good people, and will stuff a body into a trunk for a […]

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