How to Almost Give a Gay Guy a Heart Attack

And no, the answer is not me naked.

The answer is a surprise party of one stuffed into a car trunk.

This past weekend I was beckoned to Des Moines by my bestie Scooby to supply his husband with a good old fashioned make your heart stop birthday surprise.  Brainstorming on how I would be presented as a grand gift we landed on the idea of shoving me into the trunk for an ambush on Mr. Scooby.

Naturally, we pulled over in a church parking lot to get the deed done.

Nothing strange about this scene.

A quick prayer was said in the hopes that no one would suffocate to death, all other vehicles on the road would avoid rear ending us and I prayed Scooby wouldn’t forget about me as soon as he went into the house to fetch his hubs.

Are you there God?
It’s me, Scooby.

With the surprise package in compact place, we were off.

Big ass, tiny space.

In case you were wondering, here’s what you’ll see if you’re ever thrown in a trunk.

As the car reached its destination, I heard voices approaching the vehicle to take a gander at what gift awaited while I almost pissed my pants from trying to keep my not so quiet laugh subdued. Mr. Scooby said, “is there a puppy in there?”

S.U.P.R.I.S.E. it’s not a puppy!

It’s CBXB!

Bewildered birthday boy.

While the surprise was a success, I had a grand entrance fail.

Does anyone have a crane?

Once able to hoist my fat ass out of the trunk (a true junk in the trunk story here folks) it was birthday hugs for everyone.

It’s me!  In the flesh!

For reals.

The only thing left to do was get the party started.

What’s a soiree without jazz hands?

And party we did.

Happiest of birthdays Mr. Scooby!

Now how in the hell am I going to top this next year?

CBXB