Shitter’s Full

Eddie Shitter

So…it appears that naming my new twin fur babies after my favorite Griswold characters has come back to bite me in the ass.

Clark and Cousin Eddie buttering me up.

Clark and Cousin Eddie buttering me up.

Upon bringing the twins home to my mini manse, I escorted them into the wing they’d be spending much time in – the Pussy Wing.Β  Within this section of my apartment, all things cat related happen in here. The litter box is behind the green couch, food stored behind the partition, window always available to perch, etc…

Mini Manse

A mini manse in a mini manse.

As you may well know (and he most definitely knows), the king of my castle is Mr. Ted E. Bear. Not only does this feline rule my roost non-stop, he has a version of kitty Celiac disease and needs prescription food to get by in life. Which costs a mere $65 per bag and can last one cat two months (which makes me thrilled out of my blonde mind that I now get to feed three mouths premium feline food).

Missing man.

My main squeeze.

Turns out that Clark and Cousin Eddie were beyond thrilled tasting this fine concoction of green peas and duck – so much so they were sucking it down their throats without even chewing.

Kitty cat caviar

Classy dudes with the kitty cat caviar.

It also turns out that the Griswolds have touchy digestive systems and this fancy food didn’t bode well with them.

As in, gave them diarrhea.

The squirts.

The runs.

Did you know that when cats have the shits, they don’t use their pan?

Me either.

Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck.

Facing a literal shit show.

Being that the shade of feces and my carpet matched perfectly, I was able to put my foot in a few piles before I realized what was happening (and I’m sure my neighbors thought I was being murdered due to my overreaction of being touched by liquid dookie).

Trying to remedy this situation before having to burn my mini manse down to get rid of the defecating smells, I put out puppy pads, thinking this would help my sanity.

Sheer brilliance

Fort Diarrhea

Only when my little chug friend Precious saw the puppy pads, she thought she was being ‘good’ by using them.

So now everyone is shitting and pissing on the fucking puppy pads.

How could anyone be mad at this mug?

How could anyone be mad at this mug?

Thwarting further insult to injury, I tipped the green couch in the Pussy Wing up on end as Cousin Eddie is now sharting (a little piece of shit coming out with a fart) and there have been a few dribbles on the sofa.

Leaning tower of green.

Leaning tower of green.

I also lined the sides of the couch with foil because from what I have heard and read online, cats are terrified of the stuff.

Except for someone didn't get the memo to be scared of foil

Clearly.

Who knew Cousin Eddie was fearless?

Foiled by my feline.

I just had this feeling that no matter how hard I was trying, this shit show version of my life was going to last a bit longer…

Hope this works.

And, as Ed molested my head (as he has done nightly since his arrival) last night, I kept thinking that he smelled insanely rank but let it go.

All about the snugs.

All about the snugs.

Until this morning.

When I woke up still smelling rank ass and found this on my chest from Eddie’s sleeping ass.

Greeting the day by being shit on.

Greeting the day by being shit on.

WHAT THE FUCK

MAKE IT STOP.

So I’m taking the little shits who can’t control their bowel movements to the vet tomorrow and hoping there’s a cure for all things digestive related in these little monsters.

Driving me to drink straight out of the boxed wine bag. HELP.

Driving me to drink straight out of the boxed wine bag.

If I’d have known that naming my cats after Griswolds would result in an actual remake of certain scenes from Christmas Vacation, I might have reconsidered.

But until tomorrow the shitter shall remain full.

CBXB

CBXB!

43 thoughts on “Shitter’s Full

  1. Oh my. The cats are too cute.

  2. John says:

    Wow, these three are gonna vet-bill you out of the manse! Hope they get better.

  3. Laughed so hard I almost sharted AND peed on myself. I’m so sorry for all of that, glad I’m not there, and only you could keep your sense of humor in the face (haha) of a situation like that. Now I have to go and spray myself with some Chanel perfume cos I feel like I can smell that poop on your chest all the way across the country. ICK. xxx

  4. Tracy says:

    OMG, this is funny, yet not funny! I think those of us who have had cats have experienced something similar at one point. God love us cat people!!

  5. Gary Lum says:

    OMG what a pussy nightmare. When I saw the photograph of your chest I had to do a double take. I hope the cats’ bellies settle soon, the mini manse starts smelling fresh and you can get back to enjoying a weekend without worrying about where you step…

    • Thank you Gary – you just summed up all of my hopes and dreams for the near future! All fur babies are at the vet today getting evaluated…so paws crossed this weekend is normal and without anything unwanted on my chest!

  6. Nancy says:

    I know the feeling!

  7. Anne Grace says:

    Hahaha! I shouldn’t laugh but I can empathize completely! We are servants to 5 cats & 2 dogs, and there isn’t a week that passes without some sort of freak show… But they’re totally worth it, right?!! Anyway, your writing and pics have me guffawing…you are talented in more ways than just interior designer of Pussy Wings, Megan!
    I recommend probiotics, probiotics, probiotics!! They are a must for humans and critters alike and they can really balance out digestive systems (& help with immune and allergy responses!). Read more rave reviews at (just about anywhere) or The Scientific American article “Think Twice: How the Gut’s “Second Brain” Influences Mood & Well-being”. Oh, and for an all-natural in-this-case-poo cleanser which only uses essential oil (not those nasty “fragrances” that throw our hormones all outta whack)? Bio-Clean is a pretty awesome brand.
    Looking forward to more of your blog!

    • Anne Grace! THANK YOU for the suggestions and advice! The babies are at the vet today being evaluated (and hopefully cured from all things diarrhea) but I am definitely looking into the probiotics and Bio-Clean. Happy I made you laugh – ’cause if you can’t laugh in situations like this, life would really suck! πŸ™‚

  8. vudragovich says:

    Love the 1st pic of Mr Ted there, on the tray so you can carry him over the fields of poo you have brought into his domain (shame on you mommy)
    And so different seeing your hair down…
    So stock up on kitten diapers and dont you start eating the pea duck food, LORD only knows what it will do to your belly πŸ˜€

  9. I truly feel your pain as do most pet owners. I hope the boys are on the mend before you lose much more of your sanity. Well, there’s always Skinny Pirates

  10. Hahahaha! I know I shouldn’t laugh at you, but I totally am! Keep up the great work as I’m sure it’ll all even out soon.

  11. kellisamson says:

    I cannot believe this! It just keeps getting worse! Make it stop! You deserve a vacation with a cat sitter left at home with these crazies!!

  12. Hahahaha! What a shit show. You really are becoming the crazy cat lady!

  13. SerachShiro says:

    OMG ……I wouldn’t be in your place, feet (better not with all that shit) but for all these awesome lovely fur-balls I wouldn’t hesitate πŸ™‚ ! Hope they already feel better and make you much more happy unless dirt up with …… wishing you a beautiful evening and a lot of relax πŸ™‚ !

  14. […] The Griswold twins were plagued with uneasiness over Bear’s absence. […]

  15. […] snuggles found Clark and Cousin Eddie who are spending one more week with Dada CBXB while Teddy is almost back to his old […]

  16. […] over my niece and nephew who reside in Iowa.Β  While I’m certifiably nuts over the twins, my pussies (especially Ted), the Iowa Hawkeyes and Skinny Pirates, my teeny kinfolk (a snazzy word I’ve […]

  17. […] know my twins Clark and Cousin Eddie are still hanging with Gpa CBXB as Ted is still in weight gaining […]

  18. […] another set of twins in my life, Clark and Cousin Eddie are not really wanting to leave Dada CBXBs’s abode as he has been spoiling them rotten while […]

  19. […] of the Griswolds, Dada CBXB has been watching my adopted feline twins Clark and Cousin Eddie since my main squeeze Ted E. Bear has been adjusting to life with inflammatory bowel disease and […]

  20. 1EarthUnited says:

    wow that certainly was a rough patch. couldn’t you’ve temporarily pen them outside in the yard, fresh air usually does them good. πŸ™‚

  21. […] my love of all things Griswold family, I decided to name my newly obtained family members after Cousin Eddie’s […]

  22. […] But then, keeping in line with the Griswolds, my cat shitter got full. […]

  23. […] is going to get sick…and then they all get sick. Because when everyone eats, drinks and shits in the same places it’s germ swapping […]

  24. […] …and letting me know when the shitter’s full. […]

Holla at me!

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s