What do you do when it’s snowed six inches overnight in a city that can barely function when it rains three centimeters and you realize that you only have enough wine for one more glass?
Since the Nashville Public Works denied my attempts to sweet talk a street sweeper to drop some vino my way, I trudged out of the mini manse to further assess the situation.
So, I went back inside to load up on booze fuel in order to get my energy levels up in order to possibly face Snowmaggedon on my own.
With a belly full of warm libations, I headed out to haul my ass to the mother of all things blizzard. The liquor store.
Naturally, I gussied Precious the Chug up in a matching outfit, as I needed company on my 1.5 mile walk.
Presh was all kinds of excited until she saw this first block of wet nonsense she’d have to traipse through.
She turned around faster than one can acquire whiplash in a fender bender.
So then I was off on a lone trip to kill more of my vastly shrinking brain cells.
Keeping myself entertained, I took selfies about every 200 feet.
I must say it was a tad eerie being out on typically bustling roads but I had no time to be scared because I was trying to thwart myself from heat exhaustion due to the 18 layers of clothing I’d thrown on myself before leaving my mini manse.
After getting tangled in branches that rivaled a Disney villain, I finally made it to the store after 90 minutes of non-wanted exercise.
Being that I didn’t want to over exert myself with back to back 1.5 mile walks (and also being that the entire way to the mini manse would be uphill), I decided to see if the bar next door was open.
Everyone on the west side of Nashville appeared to be at the local joint, as it was asses and elbows at 4pm.
Just so happens, I met up with some of my favorite gents who were looking for some snow day fun themselves.
When it was time to say goodbye, my buddies became my knights in shining armor, giving this busted ass queen a ride up the hill. Naturally I insisted they come in for just one cocktail. And maybe a little guitar playing. And maybe a little dance party. And maybe another shot. Or nine.
You know what comes in handy to soak up copious amounts of liquor consumed? Snacks. Unfortunately, due to the snow (and my decision to save myself with wine instead of food), I only had a pan of cornbread to offer as a feast.
All in all, I’d say we partied our cabin fever right out onto the snow covered sidewalks.
I know I did.
Snow days are hard.