Pussy Pandemonium

Apparently being traumatized by another human being in a life altering event makes one feel the need to buy love. For me, acquiring affection isn’t in the form of old-fashioned hookers or new-fashioned Bumble (seriously, what is that?) but through the purchase of pussies. Three too many of them.

You see Mama CBXB thought it’d be a good idea to get my thoughts on something other than an ongoing police case, the fact I have no employment, the furball love of my life Ted developed a serious heart condition within two weeks and wanted to provide me some light life focus.

So she decided to buy me a kitten.

Princess Elsa Pants Crossbones

How can you say no to this face?         You don’t.

First, I was leery. I mean Teddy is used to being the main attraction of all things CBXB (even though he shared the spotlight with our dearly departed, highly annoying but oh-so-loved New Cat for a bit). With that in mind, it was still end of story when we entered Pet Smart on what just happened to be National Adoption Weekend.

How much is that pussy in the window?

How much is that pussy in the window?

I don't hate this idea.

It didn’t take long for me to warm up to the idea.

Upon putting my hand in a pile of young pussies, I pulled out a sweet faced baby who was already dubbed Elsa. Being that the Iowa twins favor that princess most, I fell in love and this kitten hit the jackpot. All I needed to do was check the fuck out with my newest family member.

No name change for the Princess.

No name change for the Princess.

But then I stood up and was met with piercing green eyes peering out of a cage, staring so hard through my soul I could almost feel the two holes burned into my forehead.

You know you want me too.

You know you want me too.

I just had to get into the cage to see what was going on with this emerald eyed monster who immediately head butted my face, accompanied by a swift lick when I tried to crawl into the metal house with her.

Hi there. Care if I join?

Hi there. Care if I join?

Turns out this black beauty had an extremely shy brother sleeping in the back of the cage who wasn’t adapting well to being in a rescue. These four-year-old siblings were surrendered by some asswipe who decided they couldn’t care for them anymore.

Who am I to break up a sibling bond?

Who am I to break up a sibling bond?

I then decided to check all three of them out at once, testing the waters.

Totally under control.

Totally under control.

My arms of steel were able to squeeze all of the felines tight enough to keep them in my crazy cat lady grip just long enough to not triple second guess my decision to take them all.

Mulling it over for .00000001 second.

Mulling it over for .00000001 second.

And just like that, the operator of Sweet Faces Cat & Kitten Rescue agreed to let me take the ‘triplets’ home to the mini manse, where Ted and Precious the chug unknowingly awaited the new arrivals.

Penny and her #1 customer.

Penny and her #1 customer.

 

MVP of the weekend.

MVP of the weekend.

 

What is about to happen?

What is about to happen?

In keeping with my love of all things Griswold family, I decided to name my newly obtained family members after Cousin Eddie’s kids.

Rocky - the strong, silent type.

Rocky – the strong, silent type.

Ruby Sue - possibly missing a brain cell or two.

Ruby Sue – possibly missing a brain cell or ten.

And as I said before, the baby remains Princess Elsa in honor of my Iowa twins.

P

They love animated Elsa. I love the fur ball version.

Princess Elsa Pants Crossbones

Princess Elsa Pants Crossbones.

The ride home from Pet Smart was eerily quiet with each cat in a newly purchased cardboard box (as I didn’t intend on coming home with any furry addition). Not a peep, meow, hiss, growl or howl was uttered.  And nothing was said as I introduced each new family member to Mr. Bear and Presh one by one. The transition from being a cray cray cat lady to borderline animal hoarder was smooth sailing for everyone.

Cautious cats.

Princess and King, cautious friends at first.

Warm

Warm and fuzzies after about four minutes.

Turns out, Tedstar likes being the big man in the mini manse – but refuses to acknowledge his contentment.

Butt buddies.

Butt buddies.

Nightly ritual.

Nightly ritual.

Brotherly love.

Brotherly love.

Mauling mania.

Mauling mania.

I know, I know, I’m thisclose to being a stereotypical cliché given the fact that I’m an unmarried, candle loving, drinks wine alone while watching sappy Lifetime movies and I live in a literal animal house. But guess what? I don’t give a fuck.

I inspired this action figure.

I inspired this action figure.

Nashvillians know me by name.

Famous among Nashvillians, obviously.

IMG_0776

Let’s be honest – no one snickers behind my back because I have the type of family and friends who will ridicule me to my face with the hopes that I do not in any way shape or form turn into this woman…

Please intervene if it my situation gets this dire.

Please intervene if my situation gets this dire.

But you know, while I feel good about saving three more sweet souls in the end, I wonder who is really saving whom?

Saved.

Can’t help but love the crazy, pussy pandemonium can you?

CBXB

CBXB!

 

 

31 thoughts on “Pussy Pandemonium

  1. Carmen says:

    Good stuff!!!

    Sent from my iPhone

    >

  2. John says:

    You are awesome, crazy cat lady! 👍🏻😁❤️

  3. Penny says:

    good GOD woman! get my fat ass picture off of here!

  4. MrJohnson says:

    The candle loving worries me the most. Don’t accidentally set your place on fire! “I don’t give a fuck,” makes people more interesting.

    • You know, with all of the pussies in the mini manse now, it’s inevitable that somehow my place will accidentally get set on fire. Probably by the flick of a tail or something. Good thing I don’t give a fuck! 🙂

  5. JMC813 says:

    It is most definitely a mutual savior situation CBXB. You rescue them so they may rescue you. That’s just how it works.

    Elsa Pants reminds me of my girlfriends grey tabby Phury. If the princess is only half as personality rich, then Ted is in a run for his money as the star of the show. A King and a Princess it shall soon be. Rocky and Ruby Sue may just end up court jesters. LOL. Nothing wrong with that. Laughter is never under rated in a castle like your Mini Manse.
    Keep em purring Jazz Hands!

    • NO doubt that Ruby Sue is the court jester. She’s New Cat times 1,000. Oh the stories she will provide! Little Elsa Pants is getting cuter by the day but I keep that under wraps, so Ted won’t get jealous. I love the name Phury! How fun! But I expect nothing less from you and your gal pal. Love ya, mean it!

  6. KittNoir says:

    So much love for this post! Wish I could teleport & visit you all 😁 You’re fabulous for adopting them 🐈🐈🐈🐈👌❤

  7. Courtney says:

    Congrats on your new additions! They’re all very lucky to have you!

  8. You have become the crazy cat lady! So much pussy under one roof now! LOL! Enjoy!

  9. Your new babies are just beautiful! I’m glad Teddy is cool with them. Gonna be fun seeing what shenanigans they pull.

  10. You’re not a crazy cat lady, you’re the famous Bond girl – Pussy Galore.

  11. HOLY COW WHAT I HAVE I MISSED!?!?!
    I take 4 months off for Medicare and HealthCare season and you have red/purple highlights (might have seen that during my limited fb visits) which you wear well!
    Did I see a little poopy (puppy) in those photos?!?!
    What happened to your employment (thank you for providing links, I may just start re reading from last Sept to current to get up to speed)
    So sorry to hear about Mr Ted and a heart thing (did see and remember something about that on fb)
    Bottom line: thank you for having a BIG heart to give Mr Ted minions to rulz over and the princess and Griswolds a home.
    Prayers and well wishes and I am off to CBXB from last fall!

    • Ha! You leave for just a minute and all hell breaks loose! You did see that there is a poopy in the mix. Her name is Precious, she’s a pug/chiuauau mix = chug. I watch her about 50% of the time, as her owner travels a lot.
      I lost my job two weeks before Christmas…been no fun looking for more work but think I’ve found something that’s a good fit! 🙂
      Ted is hanging in there – he’s on meds but has stabilized and I think his new family keeping him company. 🙂
      Hope you are doing well and congrats on getting through Medicare and HealthCare season!

  12. Gosh I have been away from my wordpress for too long – what have I missed?! I need to go catch up…
    And hahaha the black cats face when you’re holding all three of them.
    My bunny and my cat recently passed away with 2 months of each other, so I’m feeling the need to hug something soft and fluffy myself 😦

  13. […] our pajama photo shoot lasted until way passed the wee hours of three, a few faces from the gaggle of my zoo were pissed that they weren’t yet fast asleep in sleeping […]

  14. […] It all started with an innocent girl’s night out. My friends and I rarely get together, as everyone is busy with work, husbands and offspring (I of course, am extremely busy with my mini manse full of fur balls). […]

  15. SerachShiro says:

    Ooh yesss I love this great pussy pandemonium and you miss Megan have a great heart and what the f……. what others might will think !! The important thing is that you’re ok with it or not ? 🙂

  16. […] I was slaving away doing loads of laundry and redecorating small spaces, Ted, Rocky and Elsa Pants were a huge help while waiting for new sheets to be put on the […]

  17. […] Ruby Sue’s eyes do glow in the dark. And Ted’s pissed his don’t if you can’t […]

Holla at me!

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s