How to Have a Birthday Blow Out

It’s time once again to gather ’round the bar at Dalts, guzzle sip on Skinny Pirates and celebrate my 22nd annual birthday.  While not much in a celebratory mood lately, time spent reflecting on birthdays past put some much needed pep in my step and I’m gonna be sure I abide by all of my memory rules this weekend!

Birthdays of yesteryear taught me some extremely important lessons that I need to keep in mind, as I prepare to celebrate another year of fabulous fun.

Huff. Puff. Blow.

1) Always take a peek in a mirror before a photo is snapped, forever capturing the loveliness of you on your special day or you may end up with something like this….

Hello Gorgeous.

Seriously. Stare in the mirror and give a rat’s ass or you’ll be gazing at your lovely self in something as beautiful as a crocheted vest for years to come.

Fashion at its finest accessorized with wispy bangs.

Own advice not taken. Clearly.

2) Upon receiving presents, always act like you’ve just received the best.gift.ever. Even if you have no clue what it is or have no intention of ever wearing/using/displaying/eating/drinking.

Holy shit! I love it! No, truly I do.

3) Insist upon holding fingers up to commemorate which age you were celebrating when photos end up in albums.

I’m this many today.

Even if you’re not quite sure how old you are, own whatever you are saying which will demand more attention on you.

If I say I’m two and a half, I AM TWO AND A HALF, ya dig?

4) Cake matters. Choose your design wisely.

Everyone wants a piece of Scooby.

Then insist someone hand feed it to you.

Keepin’ it classy. As usual.

5) Practice your ‘birthday face’ so you can look adorable in all photos.

Oh who me? Why yes it is my birthday. I’ll just hold this pose for the rest of the day.

Adorableness fail.

6) Be sure to have a themed party. Even if it involves you looking like an ass clown.

Send in the clowns.

7) Dance, jump and twirl to your heart’s content, acting as if you have one ounce of rhythm somewhere in your being.

Shake, rattle and rollin’ expected.

High kicks accepted.

Head banging also welcomed but you’ll regret it in the morning. Trust me.

8) Noisy favors are a must. Especially if party goers are under the age of six.

Blow out birthday party.

9) Always go with the celebratory flow.

Balloons in my hair? Sounds like a good birthday look.

Or at least let someone catch you when the flow gets to be too much for you to stand on your own.

Hey-oh!

10) Don’t ever turn away a birthday kiss, no matter how much you think it may hurt your face.

Always being low maintenance, scruffy faces hurt my cheek. Shave already!

11) Even if you share the same birthday with a cousin (gentleman to my left in photo below with thrilled look on his face) be sure you try to be the star of the show anyhow.

Sorry. Not sorry B. Happy Birthday today by the way!

12) Never, ever, ever, ever turn down a birthday shot. Ever.

Birthdays taste so good.

Cheers to your birthdays of yesteryear – as well as a year full of the happiest of birthdays for all of us and those we hold dear!

This evening, I’ll be drinking to the wise words my Gma has told me every year, “having another birthday sure beats the alternative.”

Smart lady.

Now let’s blow this birthday up!

CBXB