Getting ready to start another 365 fresh days, looking back on birthdays of yesteryear has been bittersweet. I’ve lost (and found!) the “celebrate everyday” mantra that I was so used to pre-Rapegate, coupled with the loss of relationships, deaths and general life changes that have been no control of mine.
However, peering back over my shoulder now, there are extremely important lessons that I adhere to even today, as I prepare to celebrate another year of fabulous fun.
1) Always take a peek in a mirror before a photo is snapped, forever capturing the loveliness of you on your special day or you may end up with something like this….
Seriously. Stare in the mirror and give a rat’s ass or you’ll be gazing at your lovely self in something as beautiful as a crocheted vest for years to come.
2) Upon receiving presents, always act like you’ve just received the best.gift.ever. Even if you have no clue what it is or have no intention of ever wearing/using/displaying/eating/drinking.
3) Hold up fingers to commemorate which age you were celebrating, as these photos will end up in albums and you won’t always remember what outfit you wore which year (side note: how hilarious is it that I have a shirt on that says First Mate, First Mate?).
Even if you’re not quite sure how old you are, own whatever you are saying which will demand more attention on you.
4) Cake matters. Choose your design wisely.
Then insist someone hand feed it to you.
5) Practice your ‘birthday face’ so you can look adorable in all photos.
6) Be sure to have a themed party. Even if it involves you looking like an ass clown.
7) Dance, jump and twirl to your heart’s content, acting as if you have one ounce of rhythm somewhere in your being.
8) Noisy favors are a must. Especially if party goers are under the age of six.
It’ll wear them out and force them to be couch potatoes.
9) Always go with the celebratory flow.
Or at least let someone catch you when the flow gets to be too much for you to stand on your own.
10) Don’t ever turn away a birthday kiss, no matter how much you think it may hurt your face.
11) Even if you share the same birthday with a cousin (gentleman to my left in photo below with thrilled look on his face) be sure you try to be the star of the show anyhow.
12) Never, ever, ever, ever turn down a birthday shot. Ever.
13) Enjoy the fuck out of the loved ones who surround you for celebration because you never know when it’ll be the last time.
This year, I’ll be drinking to the wise words my Gma always told me as I bitched about growing another year older, “having another birthday sure beats the alternative.”
I’ll drink to that!
Cheers to your birthdays of yesteryear – as well as a year full of the happiest of birthdays for all of us and those we hold dear!