The Birthday of Your Bestie

The birth of Sister CBXB was the best thing that has ever happened to me. I didn’t know it at the time but I needed a yin to my yang, a Meredith to my Christina, a Nicky to my Paris, a Sasha to my Malia, a Serena to my Venus, a Solange to my Beyoncé.

A brand, new dynamic duo.

However, we all know I love a glaring light on myself (also known as a spotlight), so don’t think I wasn’t pissed when bébé Sister CBXB was showered with gifts for just appearing out of what seemed from nowhere (I know Mama CBXB will beg to differ, delivering an 11 pound baby). I remember our neighbors Winnie and Clyde came to visit and while everyone coo’d and ooh’d over the bundle of joy, I got a bag of underwear. I think that may have been the first time I thought “what the fuck?” to myself.

I was always quick to remind folks that I was still around while they were admiring new life.

Gpa Morris ALWAYS had her binky (it’s on his right finger). And she always whined for it.
Gpa Morris DON’T FORGET ABOUT MEEE!

I was quickly schooled that two is better than one. I had someone to boss around, throw the blame on and found celebrating, well, everything was better with my forever plus one.

So many things to cheers to over the years.
Easter celebrations from Wonder Girls to Wonder Women.
Snow fort celebrating compliments of Dada CBXB and Uncle LewAss with the Morris Boys.
She’s always a fab sport when I wanna do a celebratory marathon day at the Iowa State Fair.
Never not fun at an Iowa Hawkeye tailgate.

We’ve always known how to say buh byeeeeee to the prior year, letting our hair down, throwing our hands up with a side of snacks we never let go to waste. You haven’t really lived if you’ve never dipped a pizza roll in Rotel cheese dip. Follow us for more classy tips.

Who needs more than two to ring in a new year?

Then, she met my future BIL (bro-in-law) and we had fun ushering him into trashtacular new year’s fun.

Inaugural NYE with BIL.
Who doesn’t have dance-offs on NYE?

BIL was always a good sport, even when we put on booth concerts at local bars.

Never a better duo screaming LIVIN’ ON A PRAYER!

Our audience was always so enthralled they could hardly keep their eyes open,

Before popping the question, I’m sure BIL had to consider what he was getting along with Sister CBXB.

HI. It’s me. I will be your forever third wheel.
I’m so easy to deal with.
OBVI.

BIL put a ring on it anyhow and a round of celebrating properly ensued.

Jazz hands run in the family.

Bachelorette shenanigans were nothing but drunken fun. So much so, we had our folks in tow.

Whose dad doesn’t bachelorette party it up?
She gets her classiness from me.
Once again, obvi.

The big day came and it was so apparent how happy and excited she was to start this next chapter of life.

As newlyweds, she rang the bell with her new hubs, sealing the deal at the Little Brown Church. A photo caught my thoughts…thank fuck it’s not me, it’s you!

The forever and always single, cray cray cat lady. Not mad about it.

Although it was her wedding day, I somehow still managed to bring out her sisterly love in a way.

The look of sibling love.
A look that runs deep.

This life that’s sometimes a party just kept getting greater. Sister CBXB and BIL welcomed twins and the festivities and hoopla got bigger and better.

Seeing her kill it as a mom is no surprise but fuck – no one lied when they say time flies.

How in the actual fuck are these two already nine?!

I’m forever indebted to her for taking any partnering up and kid pressures off of me. I get to be the outrageous aunt, thankfully.

What?
Kids are so easy.

Sister CBXB has put up with me her entire life. Often reacting with the “holy fuck, did she just say/do that?” face in her hands of hilarious embarrassment to be related to yours truly.

She never had any choice in the matter.

No option but to be my forced side kick.

Sisters are a special crew. We lucked out having Mama CBXB and Aunt Crazy Pants as an example of that extraordinary bond. The millions of times we laughed until our stomachs hurt and tears ran down the legs of the older duo, are some of the best times I have tucked away in my memory bank.

My sis has often carried me through life in fab times and the horribly bad. Maybe I’m a reason her back hurts? That can’t be, rather, I taught her how to lift with her legs, right? RIGHT?!

I’m always helping her put her Michelle Obama arms to great use.

Even though it looks like we could possibly be inbred in the photo below, I know she’s always got my back and me hers, no matter the woe. But for real, why does it look like we’re posing for a prom pic? We were on the lookout for Dada CBXB to arrive at his surprise party.

Back to Back
He made it.

Sister CBXB has never met a cake that didn’t meet the inside of her belly.

So today, eat all of the sugary confections with a side of that fancy bubbly!

Thanks for always being the straw holding this camel’s back.

I can’t wait until this cunt Rona is gone and I can come maul you and force you to carry me around for fun. You’re the best of the best, crème de la crème, I hope this birthday celebration grants you with everything you deserve. I’m forever thrilled that I get to be your sister. Thanks for being my bestie.

Cheers, Bitch!

Love ya, Mean it.

6 thoughts on “The Birthday of Your Bestie

  1. John says:

    Happy birthday to your sister, Megan, and such a fun post to read! Rona may never go away unless unvaccinated people get vaccinated and wear masks.

  2. Gary says:

    Happy birthday to your sister, what a great post!!! 🎂🎉

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