I’ll Get You My Pretty

What better way to commence my favorite week of October than by upping my mani ante with a little blood splatter masterpiece?

Poison?

Not your ordinary apple.

I got a tad ambitious in my manicure adventures but with a glass (or four) of wine, I found my inner confidence beaming through.

To achieve this look, you’ll need a clear, nude or white polish, a toothpick and your choice of a red hue.

Terrifying trio

Terrifying trio.

After applying Seche Vite base coat, I started with two coats of Sally Hansen Xtreme Wear in White Out.

First

Hopefully you’re better at staying in bounds than me. Wine makes my lines blur.

To create the blood drips, I dipped a toothpick into a bottle of Sally Hansen Insta-Dry in Rapid Red and started with a single drop in the middle of a fingernail (be careful how much polish is on the end of your toothpick or you’ll have a large glob instead of a small drop – I’m speaking from experience).  Once you’ve dripped in your desired nail locale, use the toothpick to drag the red to the tip of your nail.

Dip baby dip

Dip baby dip.

After I had my drips appropriately placed, I added little dots of red for a splattered effect. Then, I did one thin swipe of red along the top of my fingernail (still with the toothpick) to tie everything together.

Dripped with blood...

Dripping digits.

Wait about 15 minutes before applying a top coat (I’m in love with Seche Vite Dry Fast Top Coat), as the red globs need more time to dry and will smear if you don’t wait long enough (again, speaking from impatient experience).

While my talons have gotten a few raised eyebrows already today, it’s the best way I can convey my excitement for a beloved holiday. A lady at the grocery asked me why I painted my nails with red stripes (because I fucking wanted to, lady) this morning.

Poison?

I offered her an apple from my cart.

*Insert evil, cackling witch laugh here.*

CBXB

CBXB!

Happy Mani-tines!

What’s a holiday (and yes, Valentine’s Day is a holiday) without a matching manicure?

blah

Ring my bell.

Hokey? Duh. Cute? Absolutely.

blah

Let your fingers spread the love.

After applying a base coat, apply two layers of pink and wait for it to dry completely (or you will not be feeling the love with smudged nails) before swiping one thick layer of red on the tips of your digits. Follow with your choice of top coat (I prefer Seche Vite Dry Fast top coat).

blah

Essie in Short Shorts and E! Live From the Red Carpet.

Now go get your nail love on!

CBXB

CBXB!

Fangtastic Fingers

I vant to suck your blood. Well, really I don't because it might ruin my nails.

I vant to suck your blood.
Well, really I don’t because it might ruin my nails.

Known for being anything but subtle, I choose coordinating holiday colors for my Hallowmani.

Forget the ghosts.

Who doesn’t match their mani to their decor?

After applying a base coat, I doubled up on Sally Hansen’s pumpkin hued polish in Crushed. Letting that dry a few minutes, I followed with a swipe of Orly’s GOTH on the tips of my talons and with a slightly steady hand (I like to have two glasses of wine before attempting this step) I glided Salon Perfect nail art in Silver Plated between the black and orange colors.

No matter what mani I’ve just completed, I always use Seche Vite Dry Fast topcoat. Always.

Terrifying trio.

Terrifying trio.

Curiosity almost killed New Cat (by yours truly), as he risked one of his nine lives to photo bomb my set-up.

Actually this little shit was more terrifying as I thought his tail was going to knock every knick knack over in sight.

My little shit taking my less than professional photo shoot down 14 notches.

But I kept my cool because that’s what a self-appointed Queen of Halloween would do, right?

Afterall, the Queen of Halloween. Naturally.

Naturally.

Happy haunting.

CBXB

CBXB!

Only in A-mani-ca

Being that subtlety isn’t my strong suit, I had to up the gaudy ante by splish splashing my love of America with a patriotic mani for the Fourth of July.

Sparkle AND shine.

Sparkle AND shine.

To achieve this look, I followed a base coat with Orly’s Star Spangled (fitting, yes?).  After allowing the two coats of red to dry a few minutes, I applied Aruba Blue by Essie on the tips of my nails.  With a quick swipe of Silver Plated by Salon Perfect (which I purchased at the Dollar Tree and can’t find a website to link here – probably because of where I bought it…) in between the red and blue hues followed by one brush of Seche Vite Dry Fast top coat, my patriotic mani was complete.

Surely Uncle Sam's choice of polish this time of year.

Surely Uncle Sam’s choice of polish this time of year.

Be careful with the backyard fireworks this weekend friends! Don’t worry about me as I’ll be sitting back and admiring my mani work, watching someone else light the wicks and run for their life.

I mean, where else can I unabashedly tell others that my nails are “jewels, not tools”?

Only in A-mani-ca.

CBXB

CBXB!

And the A-Mani-dy Award Goes to…

Oh how Oscar night is filled to the brim with sequins, sparkles and mostly handsome dudes in tuxes. So due to the fact I wasn’t getting all gussied up in a fabulously gaudy gown, I set my sights on dressing up my manicure in honor of the Academy Awards.

The award...

Recipient of the Best Supporting Nails award.

To achieve these award winning nails, you’ll need two colors. A solid gold (which I happen to have a bottle of Chanel that is going for $90 on eBay. Why did I ever open this gift?!) and something as glittery as all get out.

Chanel and OPI

Chanel in Gold Fiction and OPI in Glow Up Already (which seriously must be named after a man).

After one coat of clear base, I applied two handsome coats of the Gold Fiction. I thought about leaving my nails a plain gold for all of three seconds.

blah

Way too blah for the Oscars, yes?

I applied one coat of OPI gold sparkle, concentrating most of the polish on the tips, trying to create a slight ombre look. Then swiped my freshly painted nails with one coat of Seche Vite Dry Fast Top Coat (best ever in the history of top coats. I swear).

Mission accomplished

Bubbly and glittering gold nails. A perfect awards night combo in my book.

While no statues were given out in my mini manse last night, Ted and I practiced our acceptance speech with my glimmering nails wrapped tightly around the bottle of bubbly acting as a stand in for a naked Academy Award trophy.

Of course the first person he demand I thank was him, naturally.

“I’d like to thank the Academy of Ted…”

CBXB!

Will You Be My Mani-tine?

Mni

A Valentine mani.

No holiday passes CBXB by without the need to paint my nails gaudily accordingly.  So here’s my stab at melting hearts with my mani this week.

I used a trio of colors to achieve my look:

Trio

Salon Perfect in Silver Plated, Sally Hansen in White On and Orly in Star Spangled.

After applying one swipe of base coat, I painted two coats of White On and let it dry a few minutes.

Step One

Then, I put a thick coat of Orly’s Star Spangled on the tips of my talons.

Add the red

To take the gaudiness up a notch, I applied a thin line of Silver Plated in between the red and white hues. Followed by one swipe of my all-time favorite Seche Vite Dry Fast top coat.

Mni

Then I did what any grown woman does after painting her nails.  I started matching my nails to Valentine’s decor.

Image 59

Be mine.

Be mine.

And why stop at decor, when you can color coordinate your mani to the wine you’ll be guzzling?

What pants?

The cork in this bottle reads “Who wears the pants? I wear the pants.” No one tell Teddy!

Now I just need to get a matching wine glass (or two – you know, one for each manicured hand).

CBXB

CBXB!

A Griswold Family Mani

Does anyone not watch the classic movie National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation over the holiday season?

If you don’t, stop what you’re doing and go watch it. Now.

Because I’m trying to adorn my body like a Christmas tree this season, I festively painted my nails while watching my all-time favorite movie. Trio

After a base coast, I applied two coats of Lancome’s Code Red and let it dry a few minutes.

Using Sally Hansen Hard As Nails Xtreme Wear in White On, I painted on thick strip across the top of my nails.

Following a ten minute dry down (it’s imperative you let the white dry, or it will bleed into the next step – trust me. I’m speaking from impatient experience).

One thin swipe of Salon Perfect in Silver Plated completes the look between the red and white hues.

Finish with Seche Vite Dry Fast top coat and you are all set.

Happy manicuring and cheers to the Griswolds!

CBXB