May the Force be With You…

The force is strong in our furry family,

give in to the power of the sparkly dark side,

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or risk a pissy Princess Pussy’s anger that would reach worldwide.

(insert heavy breathing here)

Happy Halloween!

CBXB and Ted

CBXB!

National Pussy, er…Teddy Bear Day

It’s National Cat Day folks.

This is the biggest holiday of my year (don’t judge) as most of you know just how cuckoo for fucking Cocoa Puffs I am about my pussy, Teddy B.  He’s the yin to my yang. The side to my kick. The “me” to my “ow”.   So in a dire attempt to make my furball love me all the more, I present you with an ode to the best bear on the planet…

Ahem.

Oh Ted you bring so much joy and good cheer,

Even when your piercing looks could kill.

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Always a sport when I dress you up,

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You never lose your cool when the costume fucks up.

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Cinco de Teddy was a highlight one year and

while I was sure we had matching sombreros,

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I’m pretty sure you were trying to figure out

how to pierce my heart with an arrow.

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Bunny ears aren’t your favorite as you made very clear,

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So I made you a pirate, in which (I kinda think) you revered.

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Today is your day and in honor of you,

I will break out my finest kit cat attire.

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I’ll be sure to slip on your favorite tie  –

before you try to murder me by hire.

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The night will be yours to do as you please.

Whether it includes Skinny Pirates, shots of Jell-O,

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or your favorite vino to help you chill and be mellow.

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 We were both beyond blue

when New Cat passed suddenly this year.

New Cat

Although beyond annoying, we’re heartbroken he permanently left our crew.

Kitty Love

Celebrate you we will with all kinds of fun,

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As my Earth tends to revolve around your sun.

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Happy Teddy Bear Cat Day to all of our furiends!

CBXB

CBXB!

The Bitch….er, I Mean Bear is Back.

My pussy is baaaaaaaaaaack!

The bitch is back. And no, I'm not talking about me.

The bitch is back.
And no, I’m not talking about me.

A little over a month ago, Ted became sick in what felt like a matter of minutes – as one day he seemed happy, healthy and bitchy as ever but then suddenly lost almost half his body weight, wouldn’t eat and became lethargic (couldn’t even hold his head up to meow profanities at me).  Taking him to the vet, I had to leave him in the kitty ICU.

Full on worry mode

Yes, we asked that the bandage match his eyes.

And then the worrying at the mini manse began…

The Griswold twins were plagued with uneasiness over Bear’s absence.

The Griswold twins were worried.

Clark was so terrified he had to take a nap.

Precious thought she may never again get a bath, since Ted demands he be the one to clean her.

Our favorite little chug on the planet, Precous was worried.

Destined to be a forever dirty dog?

Speaking of worry, I was about thisclose to being shoved in a straight jacket and taken to the nearest loony bin.

I couldn’t sleep. I couldn’t eat. I couldn’t sit still. But thank god I could still drink.

Liquor and pills make everything better. Wait. What?

Just your regular, every day shit show.

My nerves frayed more when every single test ran on Mr. Bear turned up with nothing to report and another was conducted with days to wait in between for results. But you folks came out in droves with your good wishes, karma, prayers and support.

Messages of good

Cutie of a well wisher.

Cards

My friend’s kid is obviously going to be the next Picasso.

With all of that love swirling around for TB, he mustered the strength to pull through a surgery, was granted a diagnosis (that’s treatable!) and after what felt like eons in the pet hospital, I wrapped him up and took him home.

Homeward bound

Homeward bound.

Think somebody missed someone?

Think somebody missed someone?

Seeing my typically plump pussy so lean, I did what any mother would do.

Fur and bones

Fur and bones.

I put food in his face every time he turned around (and then tried to wrangle Presh away).

Eat his heart out, much to P's dismay.

A double dose of duck and tuna.

Favorite snack of peas whenever he wants.

His fave green peas always at the ready.

Malts are also now in his diet.

Malts make everything better.

Overflowing his martini glass with food. EAT DAMMIT!

Overflowing his martini glass with food.
EAT DAMMIT!

While thwarting off his furry roommates in order to get to his heaping amounts of food I shoved in his face, Tedstar’s presence was missed so much that he couldn’t get one moment to himself.

Not alone...fur friends

No peace on the porch.

so happy together

Cuddles on the couch are so cute.

Or were they?

Except when the 24/7 cuddles aren’t welcomed.

After shipping everyone else out of the mini manse so Ted could get some r and r, he is now basking in the glow of being an only child again.

Self

Alone in the nap bed.

Self

Alone on the porch.

Couchin'

Alone on the couch.

Ridin' in style

Alone in the car.

And…

Alone with me at work.

Alone with me at work.

Where I continuously maul him all day long.

Where I continuously maul him all day long…

Much to his dismay.

…much to his dismay.

The bear is now demanding his fur bros and sister reappear before I kiss him to death.

Yes, I know I’m a crazy cat lady. And I don’t give a fuck.

The bitch is back!

CBXB

CBXB!

 

 

 

My Dramatic Pussy

 After blood work, an ultrasound, two X-rays, an exploratory surgery, refusing to eat and over a week at the pet hospital (he’s still there recovering), my always dramatic main squeeze Ted was diagnosed with inflammatory bowel disease and pancreatitis, both of which are treatable in cats!

Ted

Naturally getting the best fucking news of my life (and no, I’m not kidding) was cause for all kinds of celebration across the miles.

It was a big fat box of wine (yes I said box and don't you judge) for mama.

It was a big fat bottle Skinny Pirate for mama.

Moonshine cheers from Dada CBXB.

Moonshine cheers from Dada CBXB.

It was Patron for First Mate

It was Patron for First Mate…

...and her friends.

…and her mates.

Tequila Rose for Mama CBXB

Tequila Rose for Mama CBXB.

Our buddy Z-Man toasted with milk.

Our buddy Z-Man toasted with milk.

Beer cheers from Uncle Toddy.

Beer cheers from Uncle Toddy.

Wine from Sister CBXB in Iowa.

Wine from Sister CBXB in Iowa.

Ted and I (and anyone else who knows how bat shit crazy I have been over the past three weeks) thank each and every one of you from the bottom of our hearts for the well wishes, concern, prayers, good karma, comments, messages, phone calls, magic spells, suggestions, cards and happy juju you sent our way. It means more than you could know and we love you!

Well worth the drama in my eyes.

Well worth the drama in my eyes.

Hopefully I will get to bring him home soon and we’ll have all kinds of shenanigans to share with you. But until then, please join us in the toasting celebration, as Bear is back on the mend!

Cheers from this very relieved mama!

CBXB

CBXB!

Good Vibes

Kitty karma is once again needed for the always dramatic king of my life, Teddy Bear. He’s been thwarting off some kinda sickness but blood work and x-rays have come back clean so today, he’ll be having exploratory surgery.  Having clear tests is positive, but only somewhat as Ted has lost nearly half of his body weight and he has no appetite.

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So hopefully today we’ll find out how to get Ted his groove back.

Fingers crossed!

CBXB

CBXB!