Weekend Winks – Hot in Herre

Gangsta Glory

CBXB gangsta glory.

Heading to a Nelly show this past weekend called for some extreme primping measures. Band aids, crowns and an overload of vodka did the trick.

Turning water into vodka. modern day Jesus.

My modern-day Jesus – turning water into vodka.

Wouldn’t be a road trip without a roadie now would it?

Keeping it Iowan.

No one drinks like an Iowa girl.

Of course we needed a bathroom break halfway through our hour long journey and loaded up on liquids and napkins (you know, in case of sloppy accidents in the car).

Napkin Queens bouquet of napkins

Napkin Queens at your service.

Royalty, Bithes Two front row didn't get close mouth memo

Me and the rest of my heathens.

While we were in attendance to see Florida Georgia Line, I couldn’t help but be a tad more excited to see Nelly, who was the opening act. And if you’re sitting there wondering why in the hell Nelly was opening for a country duo, together they had a gigantic hit last summer called, “Cruise.” And yes, the crowd was a terribly interesting mix of red necks, hip hop lovers and idiot college kids with their pants down to their ankles. Luckily for me, I have a big ass and wear skinny jeans, so no worries about my rear hanging out, FYI.

While here to see FL GA Line

Let the good times roll.

This chick and I busted a move to the front row to see our fave rapper.

These two dames were front and center for...

My boss’s work wife and real life wife. Holla!

Nelly

Andele andele mami, E I E I – Uh oh!

Nelly

Hot in…so hot in here….

It got so hot I nearly lost my band aid.

It got so hot I nearly lost my band-aid.

It got so hot for Nelly that he really lost his shirt.

It got so hot for Nelly that he really lost his shirt.

And I about lost my damn mind.

And I about lost my damn mind.

Being that I was able to keep all of my clothes on while oogling Nelly (who very clearly needs to work out), I worked up quite a thirst and almost started crying tears of joy upon seeing my new favorite place on earth.

In order to cool off for the ride home...Thirsty

Late night liquor store drive thru.

Not only able to dispense booze out of a window, they also happily cooled us down with a bag of ice.

Ice!

Heaven.

Chilling myself down enough to sleep off my Friday fun, I awoke to bright smiles from the Iowa twins on Saturday.

Keeping it cute in Iowa

Gigi, Princess B and Gma keeping it cute.

Prince B keeping it suave

Prince B is clearly a little stud in the making.

Trying out new spots in Nashville on Saturday night, I found my dream bathroom vanity full of nothing but glaringly bright lights and therefore held a brief photo shoot, like every other grown ass woman doesn’t do in between other restroom visitors.

Lights! Lights! Me!

Lights! Lights! Me!

It was a gorgeous sunset and my annoying ass inserted my gigantic noggin into the photo trying to be captured.

Photo-boming my own city

Photo-boming my own city.

Sunday called for a lazy day at a fancy schmancy hotel pool, where I busted a move to my personal ghetto blaster.

Personal boom box

Still listening to Nelly.

It was extremely hard to move from the lounge chair at the end of the day but the appearance of hotel staff closing down the pool made it easier.

See ya, wouldn't wanna be ya.

See ya, wouldn’t wanna be ya.

It was time to go anyhow because aside from my two monster fur balls awaiting my arrival, I recently acquired five new babies.

The two pussies.

Get your ass home. We’re hungry. And need to punish you for being absent.

A bird has been baking five little eggs since Memorial Day weekend on my mini manse porch.

Nesting

Cute as Cadbury eggs.

And now I am the proud foster mom to five baby birds who cheep, cheep, cheep constantly in unison while their mama bird seems to bring them endless bites of food.

Crazy bird lady

Just as demanding as my two pussies.

I’m slowly turning into this…

Yes. Modeled after yours truly

Modeled after yours truly.

Only my action figure should probably read Cray Cray Animal Lady since I’ve recently rescued a cat, a tick and now, these birds.

Help…

CBXB

CBXB!