Weekend Winks – Blitzened Style

Who me party?

I jingled ’til I jangled.

‘Tis the season to get blitzened and that’s just what happened in the fabulous city of Nashville this past weekend.

Friday night kicked off at Fontanel MansionBarbara Mandrell’s (my own personal idol – like I cried in the grocery store when I saw her idol) former 27,000 square foot log cabin.

Living room

Gorgeously decorated gigantic mansion.

I took it upon myself to visit every single nook and cranny of Babs’ former house, where many of the family’s photos, furniture and keepsakes remain on display.

Holy shit!

Bathing in Barbara’s tub. Jealous?

Because I’m not well versed in climbing in and out of tubs while wearing four-inch heels, I nearly fell and broke my neck trying to remove myself. Thank God this plant was around to help.


Life saving Philodendron.

After having my existence preserved by a plant, I sat down and touched up my makeup in a bathroom made of mirrors (no wonder this chick is my idol).

Holy shit!

Multi-tasking at its finest.

Hello? Yes. I'm very busy being fabulous.

Hello? Yes. I’m very busy being fabulous.

And to further solidify that my idol should be my idol, I found a framed picture of Barbara and her cat. At Christmas. Be still my beating heart.

Here kitty...kitty....kitty....

Here kitty…kitty….kitty….

After my exhausting lavatory experience, I had to lay down on Barbara’s actual bed.

So tired.

Absorbing all things Mandrell.

Wonder what rich people do with their indoor pools when they host a party? Cover it up and put tables on it.

Pool party.

Pool party.

Taking full advantage of a sparkly (yes! I said sparkly) black couch was a must. If this piece of furniture would have fit in my purse, I’d have taken it.


This picture does no justice to the sparkle.

There was about 83 Christmas trees throughout the house and I took it upon myself to shake every single gift under the lit lovelies.

For moi? You shouldn't have. But I'm so glad you did.

For moi? You shouldn’t have. But I’m so glad you did.

And as the boozing continued on into the wee hours, the stuffed teddy bears got kinda…well…

Inappropriate Teddys.

Naughty listed bears.

What does one do after attending a party on Friday night?

Host a ladies cocktail party at her own mini manse on Saturday. Duh.

Ladies night...oh what a night.

Ladies night…oh what a night.

No party of mine is complete without my

What party is complete without Jell-O shots? Not mine, that’s for damn sure!

As you can see below, First Mate is daintily eating her Jell-O, while this classy broad almost swallowed my own fist to get it down the hatch more quickly.

Double dosing with First Mate.

Double dosing.

A preggo lady partied hard with the assistance of whipped cream.

Whipped and pregnant

Yep. This is how pregnant ladies roll in Nashville. Hard core!

When it’s time to shut down the party (you know, at 2am) and a house guest suggests setting an alarm for 8 in the morning, a wrestling match for the phone is a must.


NO ALARMS or I will body slam you.

And with visions of kitty plums dancing in his head, Ted snuggled down in his favorite kind of bed. Made out of tissue.

Closing time for Ted...at 3am.

Party hosting is hard.

So while I should have taken a cue from the great Bear and snoozed a little more this weekend, my lack of shut-eye is making a Tuesday feel like it should be Friday already…

…but I can sleep when I’m dead. There’s fun to be had, people!



Weekend Winks

Work started Friday at Fontanel Mansion  – home of my idol, Barbara Mandrell.

While most folks would be excited to see two shiny new tour buses….


Plush life.


With matching interiors in light…


or dark hues.

But not this chick. I about pissed my pants when I saw Barbara’s actual tour bus from the ’80s.



pinch me

Pinch me!

While her decor was a bit out-of-date, I was in love…


Think anyone would notice if I moved in?

Especially when I saw her bathroom – which further solidified her idol status in my mind.

After my own heart

Mirror mirrors on the wall!

Working all day made me once thirsty gal and I found a new love at the after-party bar. Sweet Lucy – bourbon cream (which could also be called Heaven on Earth).


Hello Lovah.

All of the work and play Friday made for lazy recovery time the rest of the weekend.

r and r

An extra cat nap for Ted (he waits up for me to get home) – he hates when I f with his sleep schedule.

After all of the napping, I prepped little goodies for my special Valentine peeps this week.


Wrapped and ready.

Of course Teddy had to get involved.


Ted’s tissue approval.

Exerting all of the energy once again made Ted tired and me thirsty.


My Valentine.

This auntie got pics of the precious new twins.


Sweet little piggies!

And as I cleaned all day Sunday, Teddy basked in the glow of my red Valentine light.


Seeing red. Literally.

Now I just hope I can sleep this week because I have a hot date with Kid next Friday.

look out next weekend

Hello Mr. Rock.

Too bad my date includes 15,000 other fans.

Damn it!



How to Create a Pissy Portrait

You know those fancy paintings rich (and/or famous) people have hanging of themselves in their homes?

Well, I took it upon myself to recreate one. At least in photo form.

My mom recently accompanied me to my holiday work party at Fontanel Mansion, the former home of country superstar Barbara Mandrell   (I cried when I saw her at the grocery store like a teenage girl seeing Justin Bieber – no shit). Not only is my mom fun, she is quite the elf and party assistant, helping me look good in front of my boss man.

That, and she indulges my need for making a complete asshole out of myself in front of others (co-workers in this case).

This gorgeous mother-daughter painting by Dick Zimmerman hangs in the Fontanel Mansion dining room for visitors to ogle when touring the manse.

This painting hangs in the Fontanel formal dining room.

Barbara and her daughter, Jaime captured in a classy piece of art.

Since my company had the entire mansion for our party, I seized the opportunity to recreate my version of this painting. It only made sense (perfectly to me).

Before you view our rendition I must tell you that the serious picture expression (insert image of any model/actress/dignitary/politician) is not something the ladies in my family do well.  When I try to look ‘sexy’ in a photo, I just look plain pissed.

But regardless, here’s how our impromptu photo shoot turned out…


It was nothing but laughs as we were assisted in posing.

And then Mom started to take her role a little more seriously than I did.

Take Two

I just couldn’t help myself.

And once I started laughing, I just couldn’t stop (like when you’re supposed to be quiet in yoga but somebody audibly farts and you turn into an 8-year-old and giggle ’til you cry).

Mom is trying harder than I

This is just so f’ing funny.

But seriously.  There’s a reason my family is predispositioned to smile because when we don’t, we look like this…

In all seriousness

Yeah. That’s right. We’re pissed at you.

Which is why I prefer my mother-daughter rendition to be remembered as this…

Taken with a sparkle lens. Yes, I said a sparkle lens!

All smiles by a sparkly tree.

Duplicate fancy, rich people portraits at your own risk – I speak from experience.


Weekend Winks

It’s been a whirlwind of holiday parties here in Nashville and I’ve been happy to partake!

Teddy never recovered from last weekend’s events, therefore he was bound and determined to get me to stay home by laying on my blazer as I party primped Friday night.

Bound and determined to get me to stay home all weekend.

You’re leaving? Over my furry body.

And of course I was able to coax Ted off with a little help from my sparkling accessories with which he’s enamored.

Ho! Ho! Holiday party arm candy. Is there ever enough?

Ho! Ho! Holiday party arm candy. Is there ever enough?

Being in charge of my company’s party, I was on hand early to help set up.


The Great Room at Fontanel Mansion.  One of about 40 rooms in Barbara Mandrell’s previous home.

Of course I took about 4,256 photos (which I will be sharing later!) but one of our party goers had a sparkle lens. YES I SAID A SPARKLE LENS!

Taken with a sparkle lens. Yes, I said a sparkle lens!

My mom and I in all of our sparkle glory.  I need a fancy camera just so I can obtain this fabulous lens.

Working at a production company, I’m surrounded by overloads of testosterone daily. Here’s a small dose of my workplace ‘brothers.’

Just one of the guys.

Just one of the guys.

And with an open bar, bruises like this are bound to be acquired.  I think the purple, green and yellow bruising just add to all of my holiday fun (just makes Christmas shopping a little more painful).

It takes talent to bruise your ankle

I may have stumbled down a few stairs but didn’t spill one drop of my cocktail. Talent.

Upon recovering from my Friday night shenanigans, I was off to a birthday party Saturday afternoon.

Partying with my smaller side kick, Bella Bob.

Partying with my smaller side kick, Bella Bob for her dad’s birthday.

And then a date with my 30 ounce glass of merriment. A favorite holiday glass – not only because it holds almost an entire bottle of wine but it also has quite the clever take on a Christmas song.

Oh Come Let Us Adore Me! 30 oz of goodness.

Oh Come Let Us Adore Me!

All Teddy could do was cat nap on Sunday and I can’t say that I blame him.

You know Ted's tired when he puts his leg up for a belly rub.

You know Ted’s tired when he puts his leg up for a belly rub.

Teddy looks how I still feel on Monday morning, sitting at work wishing it Friday at five.

Thank God the holidays only come once a year!