Weekend Winks- Tidbits

It’s been a minute since I have been able to post about my weekend shenanigans as I’ve had my head in the proverbial sand, trying to get my own shit together and love myself.

Loving myself fives hundred times over.

Thanks to my kick ass friends, family and followers, you’ve showered me with enough kindness and love to last a lifetime. And it’s meant the world.

Thank you from the bottom of my butt because it’s a helluva lot bigger than my heart.

Speaking of friends, an old pal from Iowa, Buffalo, blew in from Phoenix a few weeks ago and could not have come at a better time. The belly laughs, peeing of pants and long afternoon pass out naps were severely needed by this chick.

No straws left in Music City.

Dumpy, Buffalo and an Ass Clown.

You guess which one is which.

Honky tonkin’ in Nashvegas is literally like Vegas only you don’t win any money. There isn’t a chance. But you can sure blow your wad…just as Buffalo.

Cowboys and cowgirls out on the town.

What weekend of mine would be complete without jazz hands?

This man could be my soul mate.

After all of the shenanigans, this chick needed a low-key soak in a bubble bath. Since I lack a large lip around my tub, I resort to putting Precious on the shitter. She doesn’t seem to mind, since we’re still together.

Chug a dub dub while mom’s in the tub.

My other four fur babies can’t be bothered to join in any bathing fun because naturally, they sleep 22.6 hours per day.

Why did you have to use the flash, you bitch?!

Oh and those Iowa twins of mine? I’m waiting by the phone for a modeling agency to call me, as I’m dying to be their auntager. I will give Kris Jenner a run for all of her millions with these two natural beauties.

Yes, these are the two cutest kids on the fucking planet.

If the modeling doesn’t work out, there is always basketball. Especially if it’s a super girly league and Princess B is able to wear whatever the hell she wants and use a purple basketball.

Future Hall of Famers.

Speaking of kids, I’d be remiss not to speak to the horrendous mass shooting in Florida. The ongoing heartbreak of losing innocent lives, is beyond measure. And, I’ve had to question my own ideas, opinions and thoughts over the days since it’s happened.

Of course, I don’t know the answer. But I sure as shit don’t think that any kind of military grade rifle should be allowed in the hands of regular folks. Do you really need this sort of firearm to hunt? To protect your house? To shoot clay pigeons? I am no gun expert, believe me. I own a revolver and I have exactly five bullets in my mini manse and they are in my gun (for those of you who stay over at the mini, my gun gets unloaded and the bullets are housed in a separate drawer when guests arrive, so calm down). When I see people freaking the fuck out over the phrase “gun control” and being insulted by second amendment rights being taken away, I think that’s extreme. You want a gun to protect your house, fine. You want a rifle to hunt, fine. But do you need a military grade rifle to do so?

I have been reading all points of view – and yes, if someone is bananas enough, they will find away to kill people. Folks think the FBI could have done something, as they have admitted they missed two tips. I wonder though, what could they do? The kid had no record. His mother, when she was alive, notified the police of his behavior. He’d been expelled from school. He was having mental problems that were being treated. How many empty threats are made on a daily basis? Or, would this be like when you take a restraining order out to protect yourself but it does nothing?

Is this the answer? I don’t know what is – I wish I could look to those in politics who can enforce change but it’s beyond evident that I can’t. In my opinion, it’s not a Republican vs. Democrat problem. It’s an American problem that rings through every single state. I can’t imagine being a parent – let alone a fucking kid that has to practice gun shooting drills – today. It’s insane and it has to stop.

While the domination of news was focused on the Florida mass shooting (as it should be), the Olympics have also been underway and Dada CBXB and myself entered in our favorite sport. Drinking.

We trained all football season for this moment.

Speaking of moments, I still have my Christmas tree up (aka Celebration tree) and since it was pouring down on Saturday, I sat my ass on my leopard couch and got sucked into TV movies.

Redneck? White Trash? I don’t give a fuck.

Cuddled up butt to butt with my favorite snuggle pants.

A chug with a chugger.

Watching horrendously cheesy Hallmark movies (side note – it’s a dream of mine to star in one, no shit) full of you-already-know-what-the-character-is-going-to-say-before-they-say-it while falling in love and getting engaged within a week pulled at my cold, dead heart for once. I immediately called in all reinforcement.

Divorce court here I come. Crisis averted.

While I peruse Facebook as often as the next person, I have a serious love/hate relationship with the fucking memories that pop up from forever ago. Yesterday, my Aunt Crazy Pants and I celebrated nine years of social media friendship. Which was fitting because her birthday would have been this upcoming Friday, so she’s been on my mind constantly (not that she isn’t always).

Taking solace in my wine glass was quite easy because it was national drink wine day yesterday (which is every day for me but since it was a nationally recognized holiday, who am I not to overly partake?!).

OH. MY. GOD. BECKY. It’s an every day for us.

Good thing I have wine glasses that hold entire bottles of wine while I plot how to take over the universe.

Cheers to all of the tidbits in your life. Now go pour a heart healthy glass of vino.

Captain’s orders.

CBXB

Weekend Winks – FUN

The Nashville weekend was brimming with basketball, booze and those babies I adore in Iowa.

Ted was so happy to finally get a full bowl of his prescription cat food Friday night that he acted as if any kind of nourishment hadn’t touched his lips in three years (TRUTH: I couldn’t get to the vet early enough this week, so he and New Cat were forced to eat tuna, poor things).Β  It was such a lip smacking good party, Ted couldn’t get his head under the bowl (well, in his case martini glass) fast enough and ended up with food all over his furry bod.

Getting crazier by the second in the mini manse.

Getting crazier by the second in the mini manse.

My Iowa twins were gussied up in their finest Iowa threads in order to cheer our Hawkeye basketball team in the first round of March Madness.

Hakweyes most dynamic duo.

The cutest cheerleader and football player my eyes have ever seen.

Although Princess B could have cared less that the Hawkeyes won when she found out the celebratory meal would take place at Chili’s….home of her beloved salsa.

Mostly excited for the salsa at Chili's.

Who cares about basketball?

Wishing I was guzzling salsa with Princess B, I instead gave my kitchen a facelift with a new rug. First I thought it was a bit busy for the room – but who a I kidding? The busier the better in my mini manse!

You like?

You like?

There’s also something I’ve neglected to share with readers and for that I am sorry. Because I know you hang on every. single. aspect. of my trashtacular life.Β  So it is with great pleasure that I remind you my birthday is this Wednesday.

As in two days.

As in exactly three months after Christmas.

If you second day air mail packages, you’ll be right on time. If you snail mail, it will just keep my party going. I accept well wishes all year round however, so please don’t refrain as I obviously hate hearing about myself.

Birthday!

First gift of my birthday month!

Speaking of presents, I gifted Princess B with an Elsa swimsuit in which she promptly put on and pranced around.

Iowa's very own Elsa.

Iowa’s very own Elsa.

And when this tiny chick is in love with something it’s full on, full force. So she demanded to wear it out to play – with her leopard shades of course.

Too cool to take the suit off. Outdoor Elsa.

Outdoor Elsa.

The second round of March Madness came on Sunday night for the Hawkeyes, and Dada CBXB was luckily in Iowa not only watching the game with the twins but also on a big screen.

Back to the madness that is March basketball.

Not hating life in the slightest.

When all was said and done, Iowa got their asses handed to them and we decided to mourn the loss differently.

Hawks lose. Losing kisses.

The twins kissed their blues away.

While I decided to drown in my sorrows with the fullest martini I’d ever seen.

martini so full

A martini worth the moola.

A cocktail so full, I couldn’t use my hands to move it, therefore I sipped it as if I was a classy lady.

Look ma, no hands!

Look ma, no hands!

Upon returning home, I found my two pussies in a shoving match atop the pink sparkly hamper (which is normally Ted’s domain only).

Shoving match ensued. But I was face first into a martini, so....

Two’s definitely a crowd.

Upon the completion of the feline WWF show, I decided to make us friendship bracelets, as a reminder we can all get along.

Good idea, I think yes.

Again, crazier by the second here at the mini manse.

Here’s hoping you have a crazy fun week friends!

CBXB

CBXB!