Miss me? Because I missed you as I greeted 2015 with about ten extra holiday pounds and 40,401 less brain cells.
While on a blogging break, I hung with my two favorite pussies more than I care to admit in Christmas pajamas.
I played reindeer games in hopes that Saint Nicholas would soon make an appearance.
A key for Santa was accompanied by my favorite treat.
Christmas morning found Princess B playing her kick ass guitar from Auntie CBXB that makes all kinds of loud, annoying noise.
While Prince B got his very own puppy from me.
And Princess B was so upset that she didn’t receive a stuffed dog too, she taught my mom a less by punching her in the face.
And so she stole Prince B’s gift.
While I stole all of the chips and AE French Onion dip in the house.
Which came in handy as I was leaving for Miami the following day.
But I visited the local Jewish Community Center where I tried to work off my Christmas caloric intake but couldn’t figure out how to use the damn equipment.
Trying to shed ten pounds in one morning didn’t really work out in my favor but that was OK as I was too busy kissing 2014 goodbye to care.
I also got to hang with some real hipsters who obviously got all dolled up for the big night.
And as it came down to the final seconds of 2014, I celebrated in my normal subtle way.
There was much to anticipate in the early days of 2015 – like one more Iowa Hawkeye football game. And while I wasn’t with my family to celebrate in our traditional game day ways, we still ‘tailgated’ together.
When the ominous clouds rolled in over the beach, I shoulda known what was going to happen as the Hawks have had a piss poor season. Even though we were playing an equally dismal team, the University of Tennessee Volunteers, I just knew it would be a good game, forgetting the fact that I attended one of the top party schools in the nation (according to a 2013 report). So I suppose fun in the sun got the better of my team.
After a 21-0 Vols lead in the first quarter I was suddenly thrilled that I didn’t make any bets with the Tennessee fans around me. Finally in the third quarter of the game Iowa scored but still managed to make the Tennessee Vols look like a Superbowl team.
The Vols had not won a post season game since 2008 and I was less than thrilled that my Hawkeyes were able to grant them a big W with a final score of 45-28. And so I did what any fan would do after losing a hideously named Taxslayer Bowl…
Upon my arrival back to Nashville, I was greeted with fuck you flowers from my buddy and Vols fan, Camo.
And I thought maybe 2015 wasn’t starting off on the right foot…
Until I ran into my best friend at Dalts, which made everything right in the world again.
So now I am back in love with the idea of a new year and I plan to kick 2015’s ass.
I hope you do, too.