Weekend Winks – Sleeping, Sunning and Celebrating Beauties

There are 168 hours in seven days time. Last week, I think my eyes may have been open a solid 24 hours maximum. I caught some sort of bug that made me incapable from seeing the back of my eye lids. When I tried to go to work on Wednesday, I sat down to have coffee on the couch at 6am after 12 hours of sleep and suddenly woke up at noon.

Couch potatoes.

When I did make it into work on Friday, I sounded and looked stoned. My eyes were little slits, so being the 90-year-old I’d morphed into, I had to leave at noon and promptly take a four-hour nap upon my arrival home to the mini manse.

Day of the Living Dead.

In between sleeping all day and night like a newborn baby, I was able to catch up on some news. I almost taped my eye lids open to read every single report of R. Kelly being indicted on 10 counts of aggravated sexual abuse. Looooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooong overdue. He’s been taped having sex with minors, reportedly keeps women hostage and if you haven’t seen the documentary series on Lifetime, Surviving R. Kelly, watch it. The revelations will make you queasy. He was acquitted in 2008 for child pornography charges but where there’s smoke, there’s fire. Suck it R. Kelly.

#muterkelly

In not so fabulous news, I read that outright racist, Steve King, who was yet again voted into Congress by Iowa (narrowly beating J.D. Scholten who actually campaigned and visited every.single.county in the district while King sat back and watched) plans on running in 2020. If you live in one of the 39 counties in the 4th District of Iowa (click here if you don’t know if you live there) and don’t go to the polls and kick this motherfucker out of office, then you’re doing something wrong. The fact that he unabashedly quotes and defends white nationalism should be enough but if you need more convincing, contact me.

When this sleeping disaster woke from her slumber Friday evening, I was greeted with a FaceTime from Scooby. What this technologically challenged lady didn’t know is that if you have the iPhone 10, you can make your head anything you want. And now this is a must have for me.

Unicorns are real.

Saturday would have been Aunt Crazy Pants’ birthday.

Sisters.

While ACP should be here, we know she was having gin rickies galore upstairs, so in her honor, Mama CBXB and I got together to celebrate. When she showed up at the mini manse, we had unknowingly dressed as twins in green and sparkle.

Matchy, matchy.

Green was ACP’s fave color and we showed up in Irish spirit. We went to the Cheesecake Factory where her favorite gin rickey is served, we found a parking spot, one bar table was open AND I kept my eyes open until bedtime. Think we might have had some help from above.

Gin Rickies for everyone.

Two other hooligans celebrating were my Iowa twins who are living it up in Mexico this week.

Off to the beach!

Bed bugs.

Beach beauties.

They have been so active, I’m exhausted just by looking at the pics sent of their overabundance of fun. On their second day – before noon – they’d been swimming, gone on a boat ride, zip lined and swam again. Meanwhile, I was very busy deciding to keep my celebration tree in full swing.

When you live in Tennessee, it’s no big deal if your Christmas tree is out all year. Or so I tell myself.

Rounding out the celebration festivities, who doesn’t love an Oscars party? The twins walked the red carpet in Mexico.

Award winning duo.

While I slid into my most comfortable stretch pants and did this…

Well, actually I did have on a floor length sequins jacket and rhinestone wine glass, so that counts as glam, right?

One of my long time buddies, Aha! came over and heard me say “shhhhhhhhhhh!” 4,902,653 times when a gown I had to have appeared on the red carpet. Which was every .00007 seconds.

Aha!

We paired our boxed wine with fancy cheese of course.

Snack City.

I loved this year’s show, which opened with Queen featuring Adam Lambert and had to rewind the performance of “Shallow” with Bradley Cooper and Lady Gaga three times. I died. I cried. I’m still swooning over the fucking thing. Shortly after that part of the show, my cable went out. And that part wasn’t as pretty with me yelling into my phone for Instagram stories while I was missing out on Best Actor, Best Director and the other fucking big time categories you wait three hours to view. Oh, Comcast is getting a letter.

These two were not alarmed in the slightest by my raised voice.

Lucky for me the internet exists and Aha! was able to pull up the speeches I’d missed. Also lucky for me, I was gifted tickets to the Nashville Predators (hockey for you non sports folks) game last night. Dada CBXB sure hated it.

Armful.

We started the evening off at the very first honky tonk I ever took him to when he first visited Nashville.

Legends Corner.

We realized that when I am trying to take selfles of us, I lack the needed arm length when he is standing at his normal height (and not squatting to get a touchdown selfie during a Hawkeye game).

Selfie fail.

We got smart and asked another human to take our photo when we got into the arena. The seats were killer, the game was close and the Preds kicked ass by winning in a shoot out.

PREDS WIN!

And we all know how I ended the evening…

Sudsy soak.

Cheers to keeping our eyes open this week!

CBXB

CBXB!

 

Tweekend Winks

Over the weekend, this non-tech savvy Nashville gal (my college boyfriend gifted me a hammer to use on a printer I could never operate – and yes, I went Office Space on its ass) figured out how to sign up and navigate (kinda) Twitter. I’ve arrived!

@CowboysXBones

Who wants to put the gadget/gizmo/widget/whatever the F you call it on my page for me?

How can I possibly limit what I have to say to 160 characters?!

After all of the computer shenanigans, I spent a quite Friday night taking a bubble bath with Ryan Gosling and Godiva chocolates. Rough.

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A girl can dream, can’t she?!

What would a bath be without wine? I was perusing my cabinets for an open bottle and found one half full. From last weekend. Without a cork. Hmm…

I sent the tweet bird to my expert wine blogging buddy The Winegetter (@thewinegetter) to see if I would somehow perish from drinking a slightly stale bottle of red.Β  He answered with great concern 8 hours later (a time difference better have something to do with the speediness!) asking if it was too late.

Thankfully, I was alive, kickin’ and able to respond. Phew.

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Last glass?

Teddy bathed in the smallest box possible while I was soaking my cares away.

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Fat cat in a little box…

And he promptly found fuchsia tissue (so obviously my cat) to keep warm until we met up for a date on the couch.

Tissue blanket

Tissue tide-over.

I found a ‘chandelier’ to put on my lust list for home goods at the always delicious Mellow Mushroom.

One for each wing, please!

My Miami mini-me has Bieber fever (who doesn’t?) and sent me a picture of the fabulous hat she found to wear to the concert next weekend!

Mini me

How will The Biebs NOT notice this cutie?!

While strolling a fancy Nashville neighborhood on Sunday, I snapped this picture of a real mansion that shares the same zip code of my mini-manse (only I live on the skid row portion in 600 square feet. But by God, I share the same zip!).

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Same zip code. Different purse size.

A quick trip to the Nashville Farmer’s Market proved worthy although it’s January.

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Tomatoes, zucchini and squash – oh my!

I just had a hard time deciding between the tomat-oh and the to-mah-to.

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So I got both, of course.

Ted’s ‘Uncle Brother’ Elvis (I rescued the black cat below from my parent’s backyard Thanksgiving 2011. We were supposed to have ‘joint’ custody, although he’s at my folks’ house 100% of the time. Therefore, is he Ted’s uncle or brother?) came in for a play date on Sunday afternoon.

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Ted’s too cool to share. Or act like he cares.

As soon as I adopted Teddy, I got this fabulous pink carrier for him to trot in and out of, which he refused to do and now travels coddled in a blanket on my lap. But of course now that it belongs to Elvis, he was more than happy to explore its contents.

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Sneaky little bastard!

And demanded that he was King of the Carrier.

King of the cage.

DIVA!

I ended my relaxing weekend the way it began. With a stud.

A weekend full of silver linings, indeed!

CBXB

CBXB!