Don’t judge me.
Sunday night ice storms lead to a Nashville snow day at the beginning of this week. As I rolled over to do a little computing from my bed, a certain pussy had other ideas.
Think you’re using this device? Think again.
When I maneuvered to the kitchen table, my attempts were once again thwarted by my all of a sudden limber cat who pounced over the computer screen onto the keyboard.
Seriously stopped by an acrobatic feline.
Realizing the computer was off-limits for the time being, I headed to do some laundry. Where my efforts were once again halted by two cats (yep, still have New Cat and yep, he needs a name).
Laundry haters one and two.
My sweet hints to move were met with death stares.
Bitch, please. We’re. Not. Moving.
Out smarting the little fur balls, I opened the door to my patio knowing it would result in immediate retrieval from the laundry devices.
New Cat sounded like his very own herd of elephants as he made a mad dash out onto the porch. And he just as quickly did a 360 degree turn to head back to the warmer climate inside.
Fuck this noise. I live in a mini manse now!
Ted was way too cool for school, sauntering outside like he lives among polar bears (even though I could tell by the look on his face he didn’t know what the hell was under his paws, as he’s never walked on snow before).
Stoically parading on unknown territory.
Attempting to jump into his fave chair, Mr. Bear slide off twice (and promptly got pissed at me for laughing in his face) before planting his rear end down on the frozen seat cushion.
A slightly embarrassed, slippery kit cat.
Although his tail wasn’t between his legs after his humiliating run in with a slippery chair, Tedstar retreated inside to lick his wounds so quickly, he was almost a blur of grey matter.
Peace.
Done with this shit.
I thought a steamy bathroom would be the perfect way to warm us up. Apparently, New Cat had never seen a person in a bathtub before.
Biggest bowl of water ever.
He walked like a circus act on a tightrope down the edge of the tub, obstructing Teddy from being able to stare into my eyes.
Annoyance.
As New Cat planted himself in between the Bear and myself, I heard Ted sigh to himself loudly.
An innocent new kitty…
…only wanted a kiss from yours truly…
…who got a smooch before plunging into the bath with me.
I’m pretty sure Ted gave our newest mini manse member a hefty shove, causing New Cat to fall into the warm water seven inches below him. And let me tell you, there’s nothing more fun than a screaming, wet pussy in a bathtub.
After I got NC out and dried off with a towel, he retreated to the warm washer to finish drying.
Wringing the wet out.
And the little bitch we know and love got exactly what he wanted.
His mother, all alone on the couch.
Mission accomplished.
If ever you find yourself in my mini manse on a snow day, better watch your back.
Sometimes the claws come out.
CBXB
Cowboys and Crossbones 