How to Relocate Your Pussy

Oh the woes of moving can seem like pure punishment.Β  But moving with a cat (especially my spoiled rotten fur ball) can seem like cruel and unusual torture. When I first told Ted of our forced impending move a few weeks back, he reacted about as well as I did.

WTF were you thinking? I KNOW.

WTF? We’re moving?! You’re gonna pay.

I tried to coax and coddle as boxes were packed and piles were stacked to keep the cat from going whack. But unfortunately none of my tactics seemed to work…

evil eyes

Evil eyes from an empty drawer.

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Sad face from an empty box.

Forget me not!

Scowling scoundrel.

Tissue blanket

Unsuccessfully trying to pack himself beneath a blanket of tissue.

Drama King laying by his fried buddy from the movie Christmas Vacation.

Drama King laying by his fried buddy from the movie Christmas Vacation.

Room for me?

Demanding a spot anywhere he could find.

Mission accomplished!

Mission accomplished.

My Bear turned into a lion before a cat nap.

Acting ferocious before one last cat nap on his favorite blanket.

I hate you.

And reminding me with one look how much he enjoyed his blanket being moved before him.

All of Ted’s shenanigans were making me want to pull my own nails out one by one so I decided to entice him the best way I knew how. Booze.

Cattail time.

Cattail time.

I wanna!

Wine. Always works like a charm.

After calming The Bear down, I bundled him up and took him for a quick look at his new mini-manse.

Sitting pretty in his new palace.

King of his new cat-stle.

Fun in empty cabinets...

Fun in empty cabinets…

Now how do I get down...

Wondering whether to make the oh-so-gigantic leap.

After marking his territory by rubbing his face on every nook and cranny, he seemed to be more at ease.Β  Even so, he was all nostalgic upon our last trip down the old driveway.

Teddy wanted to go on a drive Saturday afternoon...

Last goodbyes to the birds, squirrels and chipmunks.

Ted all snuggled up in the front seat, on the way to Grandma's house he goes!

Theatrics at their finest.

Because relocating a pussy is nerve-wracking for all parties involved, I wanted to make TB’s first evening at his new palace as comfy as possible. Which is why I tried coaxing him into a happy place with sushi.

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My tactics are slowly melting this icy feline.

And while we’re not snuggling in our new place like the good old days yet….

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Pre-moving bliss.

Ted’s having no trouble relaxing on his BFF blankie, making himself right at home.

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This is the life.

While meowing the cry of his people every morning at 3am wondering where the F he is will hopefully diminish soon, I’m pulling out the big wooing dog tonight…tuna.

Kryptonite

Kryptonite for kitties.

This will surely end the relocating-a-pussy-anguish, right?

Wish me luck.

CBXB

CBXB!

Weekend Winks

Work started Friday at Fontanel MansionΒ  – home of my idol, Barbara Mandrell.

While most folks would be excited to see two shiny new tour buses….

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Plush life.

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With matching interiors in light…

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or dark hues.

But not this chick. I about pissed my pants when I saw Barbara’s actual tour bus from the ’80s.

babs!

Barbara!

pinch me

Pinch me!

While her decor was a bit out-of-date, I was in love…

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Think anyone would notice if I moved in?

Especially when I saw her bathroom – which further solidified her idol status in my mind.

After my own heart

Mirror mirrors on the wall!

Working all day made me once thirsty gal and I found a new love at the after-party bar. Sweet Lucy – bourbon cream (which could also be called Heaven on Earth).

Gimme

Hello Lovah.

All of the work and play Friday made for lazy recovery time the rest of the weekend.

r and r

An extra cat nap for Ted (he waits up for me to get home) – he hates when I f with his sleep schedule.

After all of the napping, I prepped little goodies for my special Valentine peeps this week.

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Wrapped and ready.

Of course Teddy had to get involved.

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Ted’s tissue approval.

Exerting all of the energy once again made Ted tired and me thirsty.

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My Valentine.

This auntie got pics of the precious new twins.

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Sweet little piggies!

And as I cleaned all day Sunday, Teddy basked in the glow of my red Valentine light.

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Seeing red. Literally.

Now I just hope I can sleep this week because I have a hot date with Kid next Friday.

look out next weekend

Hello Mr. Rock.

Too bad my date includes 15,000 other fans.

Damn it!

CBXB

CBXB!

Weekend Winks

Almost time for a tender Tennessee Christmas!

Awaiting the arrival of my sister and her hubs Friday, I snuggled with my main pirate squeeze…

Just a cozy Friday night with my favorite Captain.

Just a cozy Friday night with my favorite Captain.

After my hot date with the statue and my company’s arrival, we went to Nashville’s fabulous version of a speakeasy – The Patterson House.Β  Low lighting, velvet curtains, hand crafted drinks and fancy finger food make this establishment a favorite .

Open Invitation with a cinnamon star.

‘Open Invitation’ was my vodka cocktail of choice that included some sort of bitters, an egg white and a cinnamon star as garnish.

After a few cocktails and a sip of apple pie moonshine, Friday night kinda felt like this…

Friday night kinda felt like this after a sip of apple pie moonshine....

Of course Teddy was appalled at his mother’s behavior and sulked on the ugliest blanket I own.

Ted can make a bed anywhere. He just loves claiming the ugliest blanket i own as his.

So over me.

He carried on and on and on about how late we kept him up, disrupting his beauty sleep.

My Bear turned into a lion before a cat nap.

My Bear turned into a lion before a cat nap.

A stop in the mall and I caught two of my favorite (and cutest) fans telling Santa what he must bring them this year.

My best bud Santa taking requests from two of my smaller faves.

My best bud Santa taking requests from two of my smaller faves.

More fun in store as I celebrated my First Mate’s birthday and Christmas over our favorite, strawberry martinis at The Cheesecake Factory.

First Mate and I celebrating her birthday and Christmas.

Happy Birthmus!

First Mate gifted me a few trashy treasures as a nod to my White Trash Wednesdays here at CBXB and it’s one of the best presents ever.

Trashy treasures from my First Mate. Candy cigs and an RV frame. Sigh.

Candy cigs and an RV frame. LOVE!

I mean, who doesn’t love a candy cigarette?

https://cowboysandcrossbones.files.wordpress.com/2012/09/ryan-megan-smoking.png

Classy kids like my cousin and I loved kickin’ back with a sugared cancer stick.

After all of the holiday shenanigans, I needed a quite cocktail at home but soon realized I was almost out of wine. The horror!

Squeezing every last drop out of my boxed wine bag into my 30 ounce glass. Don't judge. It's the holidays!

Squeezing every last drop out of my boxed wine bag into my 30 ounce glass. Don’t judge. It’s holiday time!

And, I’m pretty sure I’m going to make this chalkboard a staple outside of my front door:

This sign just makes me happy.

This sign just makes me happy.

Very merry times, indeed.

CBXB