How to Get Rid of Your Pussy’s Bad Breath

Brusha brusha brusha...

Brusha brusha brusha…

My cat Mr. Ted E. Bear thinks he’s perfect (what cat doesn’t?) and while I tend to agree with him 99% of the time there is one teeny tiny area where he could use some improvement. His morning breath.

kiss and make up

Dude. No kissing ’til you brush.

My fur ball almost makes me keel over when he opens his mouth as wide as possible, yawning stale duck food and cat ass breath in my face every morning (naturally, I yawn last night’s Skinny Pirate breath right back into his whiskers).

Caution: potent breath reaches up to three feet.

February is National Pet Dental Health Month and while not every pet needs their teeth cleaned professionally my kit cat does. Ted is already high maintenance ($60 bags of allergy cat food – he demands the duck and pea combo) due to neglect by his first hoarder owner (he was rescued in a one bedroom apartment with 30 cats).  Because my little bear didn’t receive the appropriate shots before being rescued, he’s susceptible to EVERYTHING, which is why I have to get his chompers cleaned every other year in order to prevent gingivitis and infections.

I demand duck and peas!

You will feed me duck and pea food. And you will like it.

Tedstar never sometimes realizes how high maintenance he tends to be (the aforementioned cost of his food) and knows that I’m pinching pennies. So trying to help me alleviate a $175 pet dental bill, I walked into the bathroom one morning and saw Mr. Bear eyeing my toothbrush…

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Hmm…what kind of toy is this?

One lick was all it took before TB decided to chomp down on the minty brush.

Feels so good when it hits the teeth!

Feels so good when it hits the teeth!

Once he started, he couldn’t stop (just like me with a bag of Lay’s potato chips).

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Going deep for the back teeth.

Making sure I was watching him every. single. second.

Eye on the prize.

Is he winking? Or giving me his best impression of a pirate?

He paid special attention to his front chompers, as they’re what appear first when yawning.

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Smile!

Concentration was required for the tongue brushing. Ted almost lost his balance and fell off the vanity (taking after his mother, he’s the clumsiest cat in all of Nashville…maybe even the world).

Not forgetting his tongue

Tongue tied.

As Mr. Bear kept smacking his lips, I couldn’t help but laugh in his face.

So fresh and so clean clean.

So fresh and so clean clean.

Which then prompted him to turn back into a cat, acting as if the whole incident never happened.

Too cool for teeth.

Too cool for teeth.

I, too, acted like the whole incident never happened because after my shower, I accidentally used the feline molested toothbrush.

Can you get cat scratch fever from swapping spit with your cat?

CBXB

CBXB!

How to Share a Toothbrush With Your Pussy

Teddy almost makes me keel over when he yawns stale duck food breath in my face every morning (I yawn right back into his whiskers).

February is National Pet Dental Health Month and while not every pet needs their teeth cleaned professionally my kit cat does. Ted is already high maintenance ($60 bags of allergy cat food) due to his neglect of his first hoarder owner (he was rescued in a one bedroom apartment with 30 cats).  Because my little furball didn’t receive the appropriate shots before being rescued, he’s susceptible to EVERYTHING, which is why I have to get his chompers cleaned every other year.

But what if you’re pinching pennies (like yours truly) and want to skip the vet? Simply leave your toothbrush out and let curiosity get the best of your cat.

I came into the bathroom one morning, seeing my curious kitty eyeing my toothbrush…

blah

Hmm…what kind of toy is this?

One lick was all it took before TB decided to chomp down on the minty brush.

blah

Feels so good when it hits the teeth!

Once he started, he couldn’t stop (just like me with a bag of Lay’s potato chips).

blah

Going deep for the back teeth.

Making sure I was watching him every. single. second.

blah

One Eyed Teddy.

He paid special attention to his front chompers, as they’re what appear first when yawning.

blah

Smile!

Concentration was required for the tongue brushing. Ted almost lost his balance and fell off the vanity (taking after his mother, he’s the clumsiest cat in all of Nashville).

Not forgetting his tongue

Tongue tied.

Mr. Bear kept smacking his lips until I started laughing at him.

So fresh and so clean clean.

So fresh and so clean clean.

Then he promptly turned into a cat and acted like the whole incident never happened.

Too cool for teeth.

Too cool for teeth.

I, too, acted like the whole incident never happened because after my shower, I accidentally used the feline molested toothbrush.

Can you get cat scratch fever from swapping spit with your cat?

Say it ain’t so…

CBXB

CBXB!